Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That
by MissSugarQuill
Summary: James Potter. Watch as his head deflates! Slowly... but surely. And all for a GIRL. Lily Evans. With 'lil kisses, disturbing talks and echidnas along the way. Yay.
1. Yo! Meet The Head Boy

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

Note: That's right, the most random story I've ever written is HERE. So be warned. It's silly and not for people expecting something serious. I wrote this when I was twelve... which I realise does not excuse anything. But read it anyway. :) I wrote it with all my love. And I don't have the heart to delete it because a lot of people actually liked it (hehe, aww, you guys are awesome) and it contains too many memories for me. Enjoy!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter One ll Yo! Meet The Head Boy**

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"Further down, further down!" screamed Emily, glancing back at her three breathless friends streaming behind her.

"The doors are going to close, just get in here!" shrieked Meddy, clutching at her side painfully.

What were they doing, you ask?

The four girls were racing down Platform Nine and Three Quarters to reach the very front of the train (which happened to be at the very _end_ of the platform) purely for the unprofitable reason that emerging from the front carriage at Hogsmeade station put you closest to the horseless carriages and therefore, ahead of all the other students.

And Emily dearly loved laughing at the ickle firsties condemned to walking down the entire length of the platform.

Screaming and yelling, Emily dived into the very front carriage. Making an equal amount of noise, Lily and Meddy threw themselves in as well, while Penny, gasping for dear life, grabbed the door handle and managed to jump on. The four girls landed clumsily into the carriage just as the doors banged shut and a loud click sounded to indicate that they were locked. A second later, the train creaked and slowly began to move.

Lily looked up, panting. "Well - we - made - it."

Emily beamed, hauling herself to her feet and holding out her hand to her sister, who lay sprawled on the floor apparently winded for life. "Of course we did. Thanks to me."

Penny shifted her head and glared at her. "Emily, you will not _live_ to see your wedding day."

Emily chuckled merrily, grabbed Penny's hand and tried to tug her up. "You wouldn't kill me, big sister." When Penny swatted at her, Emily turned to the other two and said, "Aw, come on! Let's find a compartment otherwise we'll be left with a pair of trolls..."

Not wanting to have to spend a couple of hours sitting in 'troll compartments', the girls reluctantly hastened after Emily. An empty compartment was soon found and occupied as the four girls collapsed into it. Six years ago, they had met under similar circumstances. After they caught their breath and stopped sending murderous looks to Emily, Meddy spoke up.

"Anyway, _before_ we had that mad dash for the train, I was saying... congratulations, Lily! Head Girl. Not that it wasn't expected, anyway."

"Of course," Penny said, still a little breathless. "It was destined to her since before she was born."

"Like the Whomping Willow was planted?"

"...What are you talking about, Em? That - _tree_ - was planted in our first year. Dumbledore said so."

Lily smiled as her friends talked. They were so odd. But she also smiled as she thought herself as _Lily Diane Evans, Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

That sounded really good.

Who, you ask, was Lily Diane Evans? Only the _smartest_ witch at Hogwarts who topped all her classes (except for Transfiguration, but that didn't _really_ qualify as a subject) and was usually found up late in the common-room studying or reading or just chatting. Of her friends, she was dubbed the nerd, bookworm and teacher's pet, but they loved her for it and it certainly did nothing to hinder her social skills as she was a friendly and confident girl. Lily had been prefect for two years, had never once missed a meeting and now bore the Head Girl's badge with good grace and modesty.

James Potter would have been able to describe all that in one breath, capped with a flattering description of Lily having red hair that curled at the ends, bright green eyes and an endearing dimpled smile that he had never once been at the receiving end of.

Her three best friends were the Walker twins, Penelope and Emily, and Madeline Kerrin. The twins looked alike but were not identical. Penny was the older one who was taller, a teensy bit more mature and managed deep and meaningful conversations better. Both sisters had curly brown hair, freckles over the bridge of their noses and bright blue eyes. Meddy, on the other hand, was fair-haired with blue-grey eyes and had a talent for listening and sympathising, although she was also renowned for her hot temper at times.

"I have to go to the Head Compartment soon - " Lily started to say.

"A 'troll compartment' if I ever saw one," Emily murmured, nudging Meddy who nodded in agreement.

" - and I wonder, do any of you know who the Head Boy is?" the redhead finished, looking eagerly around her friends who all shook their heads. Lily looked out of the window musingly, "Then I'm almost certain it's Amos Diggory. Don't you think he's the most qualified person in our year?"

"Why, don't you think that's a bit harsh on the _real_ Head Boy?" came a voice.

A cheeky, malicious, _adorable_ voice.

The girls looked over and saw James Potter emerging from the Head 'Troll' Compartment with something of a swagger. In reality, James was less egocentric than he let on and most people saw through his act and liked the otherwise frank and funny boy that lay underneath. Others, like Lily and one Severus Snape, could not.

"Potter!" Lily barked, her face now a scowl. "What were you doing in there? Only the prefects and Heads are allowed in there. In other words, not-you and not-NOT-me. You see, _I_ am Head Girl."

Yes. She could still be proud of her achievement even while telling off James. She was simply talented that way. Scolding James came to her like breathing and learning did.

James turned to her and his smile widened, "Evans! You get prettier after every summer. Did you know that?"

"Oh, be quiet, Potter. And you better leave before I get you into some trouble for being out of bounds!" Lily warned, but was infuriated when he kept smiling at her in that - that _calm_ way.

"So you say, dear Evans... but _I'm_ not out of bounds. You said so yourself. Only the _Heads_ are allowed in there."

Whilst saying so, he flashed his shiny, silver, squeaky-clean badge pinned to his sweater. Lily's eyes widened at the words stamped across the metallic surface.

HUMONGOUS BIGHEAD.

No.

Just kidding.

The author will crack a better joke next time.

HEAD BOY.

It took Lily a few seconds to fathom those words, their meaning and its consequential impact on her mental health for the looooong year ahead.

And then she understood perfectly.

Lily cleared her throat and said, "Please, Potter. Take that badge off and return it to its rightful owner."

"But it's _mine_!" James said honestly, his lips curving into a little pout.

At that moment, the other three Marauders came in as if for corroboration, and the girls stared at the little show.

"It's true, Lilykins," said Sirius Black glibly, nodding as he sat beside Penny and glanced at her. "He got the badge fair and square. I know, couldn't believe it myself. But the letter was signed by both McGonagall and Dumbledore, so..."

Lily's eyes darted to Remus Lupin who nodded gravely, and Peter Pettigrew who sighed and shrugged. She paled and James grinned at her.

"You see, pumpkin, we're going to be working together!" he proclaimed happily, putting an arm around her.

"_Do-not-call-me-pumpkin_!" she gasped in one breath, pushing his arm off her. She looked up at him seriously and said, taking deep breaths. "Potter, _honestly_... is this true? Did you _really_ get the badge? But - but - how - why - _who_?"

James frowned at her, "Hey, come on, why does everyone act like it's the biggest surprise since Humphrey Belcher invented the cheese cauldron?"

"Because it is," Meddy muttered. "Lil, calm down."

Lily was taking deep, laboured breaths, her eyes still glued upon James' badge in mortal dread and horror. His smile faded as he realised she was white and pale, and he started to say, "Hey, are you okay?" when the Head Girl took one last gasp and fainted away.

Emily shrieked and Penny flew to Lily's side, while Meddy whirled around to James and snapped, "Potter, look what you've done to her! You've - you've _killed_ her!"

Sirius gaped at Lily's lying form. "Dear Merlin," he said in a shaky voice. "She took that worse than your mother did, Prongs."

James bent down next to Penny who was trying to revive Lily, and said soberly, "I... I didn't _mean_ get the badge. It just sort of happened." He looked up anxiously, "Do you think she's okay?"

"Move her up onto the seat," suggested Remus. "She'll be right soon."

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Half an hour later, a still shaky Lily was not about to neglect her duties and was patrolling the train, accompanied by James.

"Pumpkin, it won't be _too_ bad," he said reassuringly after they told off some ickle firsties for being too noisy.

Lily shut her eyes to postpone the moment she would have to look at him, "Yes it will." She let out a deep sigh and stared demurely at the trees flashing past. "I'm going to have to do everything on my own this year. With no help whatsoever."

"Really?" James asked with interest. "Why?"

"Because of _you_!" The redhead whirled around and jabbed him in the chest, taking James by surprise.

"Because of _your_ laziness," she snapped, poking him in the chest with each point. "I'll have to plan dates for Hogsmeade trips, plan feasts, plan the seventh-year ball, plan _everything_. Help teachers, host meetings, organise prefect duties and activities - all because _you're_ too much of a lazy, irresponsible and selfish toerag to do _your_ share of work. You know what? You don't _deserve _to be Head Boy!"

"Hey, I resent that," James said, taken-aback. "Of course I'll do my share of work."

That look. _That_ look. _THAT_ look

It was the look which, above all, infuriated Lily. He looked oh-so innocent and sincere and _hurt_, as if he _was_ going to his share of work, but which she knew was impossible.

Which explained why she said, clipped, "No, you won't! You're too - too _selfish_ to do anything for anyone else!"

She stomped off, leaving a bewildered James half-wondering just how much one could _emphasise_ on their words.

Sirius, who had been out and about looking for the food trolley, had witnessed the whole scene and came wandering up to comfort his best buddy. "Hey mate," he said bracingly. "Looks like things aren't gonna be any easier this year, eh?"

James grunted, still watching the spot where she had just yelled at him. "Yeah. But I can take a challenge. Why does she get ticked off at me so easily, though? I was being so suave and nice. Didn't even use any of those Muggle pick-up lines from that book my uncle sent me."

"Maybe it's a reflex," Sirius suggested. "She's had to do it for a few years now and it comes naturally."

"Ah, but she's so adorable when she's angry," James sighed, rumpling up the back of his hair unconsciously. Sirius eyed the action and clapped James on the shoulder, steering him back to their compartment.

"And you had better stop doing that too, Prongs," he added helpfully, "Lily _hates_ it when you run your hand through your hair."

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A/N: I started a seventh year story cos I wanted to! XD The title is as it is because of a new librarian our school got when I was writing this fic... those many years ago. She really wasn't that bad now that I think about it, but in my eleven-year-old mind I thought she was a cow and my friend and I (really the only HP obsessed ones at the time) nicknamed her "Mrs Umbridge." We thought we were funny :) and we kept imitating her. And voila, the title came out amidst our ramblings.

The line _"Come on, let's find a compartment otherwise we'll be left with a pair of trolls..."_ was, of course, inspired by the oh-so-wonderful Ron Weasley's quote in GoF, concerning ball dates. Hehe. And the line _"A "troll compartment" if I ever saw one."_ was inspired by either Fred or George Weasley (can't remember), when they were discussing Professor Trelawney in OoTP. --MSQ.


	2. Of Hogs, Warts And Chickens

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Two ll Of Hogs, Warts And Chickens**

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"Hogwarts... Hogwarts... Hoggy Warty... Hogwarts. Teach us something ple-e-ease - "

"Yeah, yeah, whether we be old or bold, or young with scabb-ey knees, yo!"

"Our heads could do... with filling... with some interesting... stuff..."

"For now they're bare! Yeah, I'll say it again, BARE, and full of a - a - AIR! Dead flies, huh, and bits of fluff, yeah!"

Sirius and James were having a face-off in a colourful singing competition of the beloved school song; James was singing in a melodramatic, slow and heartbroken tone while Sirius was doing a fast-paced rap. Everyone else was clutching at their ears in pain, except for Emily who found the display uncommonly funny.

The eight of them were squished in one compartment. Lily and James had finished their patrolling assignment and were now enjoying a thoroughly enjoyable time with their enjoyable friends. Enjoyable? Certainly.

"Please stop," groaned Meddy, rubbing her temples. "You have got to understand me. I have _always_ loved the school song up until this moment."

James dropped his melodramatic tune and made a childish face, "You're so mean."

"Oh really?" Meddy couldn't help a grin. "How?"

"Like when you screamed at poor Jam that he killed Lilykins just because he became Head Boy," Sirius joined in. Then he added in a whisper, "James is really sensitive, but he doesn't like for anyone to know. SHH!"

They all chortled while James sat placidly, looking at Lily with a familiar twinkle in his hazel eyes. The redhead noticed this after a moment and said before he opened his mouth, "_No_, Potter."

James' mouth dropped open, "How did you even know what I was going to say?"

Lily looked agitated and rubbed her temples much like Meddy had done just before. "Because I've been accustomed to that look for the last four years now and it always pre-empts a question I wish would disappear off the face of the planet."

"_That_ question?" James raised his eyebrows as the others broke off into their own conversations. "Oh, pumpkin, I wasn't going to ask you _that_."

"Liar," Lily said, somewhat amused.

"No, honestly. I wasn't going to ask you that."

"Mmm."

"Lily."

"Mmm."

"Lily."

"Mmm."

"_Lily_...."

"Okay, fine!" Lily exploded, emerald eyes ablaze as she fixed them upon the offender. "What were you going to ask, Potter?"

He gave her a cheesy smile which usually succeeded in making most girls melt. "Will you go out with me?"

No words could express the frustration that boiled in Lily right at that moment; she felt as though she was rapidly being filled with hot water and steam seemingly shot out of her ears as she shrieked, "NO!"

James frowned, "But why not?"

"Uh, James, do you really want to know the answer - ?" Penny asked tentatively, but Lily had already tossed aside her copy of the _Duibblerdog_ magazine and was facing James with a fiery expression, hands on her hips in a characteristic way. The others stopped talking.

"You want to know why? Fine!" the redhead took a deep breath. "You are arrogant, Potter - _beyond_ arrogant, and it is a trait I detest in most people but in you, it's ten times more unattractive and terrible. You - you're so inconsiderate towards others. You'd hex someone for looking sideways at you!"

"I object; Prongsie stopped that last year," Sirius interrupted, holding up his hand as if he were voting.

"Shut up," Penny hissed at him.

"I don't know what's wrong with Dumbledore," continued Lily heatedly. "But given that Hogwarts had a Headmaster half-sane, they definitely wouldn't have given the badge to you! You don't _deserve it_ - ugh - in fact, I might as well resign right now. This is a joke!"

She finished, breathing heavily and glaring at James right in the eye, who returned the look somewhat soberly. Seeing that he had nothing to say, Lily let out a little shriek of irritation and stomped out of the compartment.

"Gasp," Sirius said, looking shocked.

"I'll say," Remus murmured.

"She called Dumbledore half-insane!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Uh," Penny said in the subdued silence. "I'll go talk to her." She left the compartment quickly and chased after Lily, leaving the other two and the Marauders sitting in their spots looking dazed.

"Is... is that what she really thinks of me?" James managed to say.

Emily raised an eyebrow, "You honestly didn't know already? James, how about I remind you of the time we were down at the lake after our Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.?"

"Well, I thought things might've improved since then."

"She didn't call you a toe rag, at least," Sirius said nonchalantly. "That's got you up a notch."

Meanwhile, Penny found Lily standing by the window outside in the corridor, silently fuming in her famous Lily Evans Silently Fuming way.

"Lil..." Penny started softly, but the redhead sighed and looked dolefully at her best friend.

"Pen, why can't I control my temper when I'm around him?" she asked, looking honestly lost and confused. Really, Lily and James had been getting along better since fifth year and she _would _sometimes (very) grudgingly call him a friend. Today was the first time in a long while that she had really gotten riled up at him.

Maybe it was all the emotion of this Head Boy and Head Girl business. Lily really hoped Penny was about to suggest that.

But all Penny said was, "Well, there's always that person that gets right under our skin, no matter how hard we try not to let them." She smiled and put an arm around her friend, leading her back to their compartment.

Lily made a face, "You make him sound like my significant other."

"Hmm."

Choosing to ignore that, Lily wondered out loud, "But how am I even going to work with him this whole year?"

"Well, give him a chance," Penny said reasonably as they continued to walk. "Dumbledore's a bit questionable sometimes, but he's smarter than Merlin probably ever was and we should always trust his judgement. He's chosen James and even McGonagall's agreed, so I suppose that means James is right for the position... side-by-side with you."

Lily was silent with thought for a moment, before smiling ruefully and tilting her head so that it bumped into Penny's. "I hate it when you're right, Pen."

Penny chuckled, bumping her head back, "I got your back, Lil."

When the two girls returned to their compartment, they found Sirius and Emily performing what was known in the Muggle world as the "chicken dance". James caught Lily's eye and opened his mouth to speak, but she gave him a weak smile to let him know it was okay. Sort of. Well, she probably needed to apologise too, so now it was even.

Meddy's face lit up when they returned. "Oh, thank _goodness_," she said, clinging to Lily's arm. "Head Girl, please make them stop." She pointed imploringly at Em and Sirius and Lily's face twitched.

"Hey, honestly, how old are you two? How about we do something else that's _not_ the chicken dance?"

"But the chicken dance is awesome!" Em pouted.

"I know, I know!" Sirius exclaimed, waving his arms everywhere to get everyone's attention and narrowly missing Peter's face. "Let's play..."

"What?"

"...SARDINES!"

They all groaned.

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A/N: We got a strike today! Lovely to get off school... so we watched Legally Blonde 2 and had an alright time... Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! 18! Ahahaha. - msq.


	3. All Outta Love

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Three ll All Outta Love**

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**Last week, on **_**HHTHHT...**_

_"Hey, honestly, how old are you two? How about we do something else that's not the chicken dance?"_

_"But the chicken dance is awesome!" Em pouted._

_"I know, I know!" Sirius exclaimed, waving his arms everywhere to get everyone's attention and narrowly missing Peter's face. "Let's play..."_

_"What?"_

_"...SARDINES!"_

_They all groaned._

_

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"Actually, that's a brilliant idea and time would pass quicker than if we sat around here all day," James said happily. "Let's play!"

"Great!" Sirius said enthusiastically. "Can I just ask something, though?"

"What?" Penny said irritably.

"How do you play?"

Penny and Emily immediately fell into identical sighs; Meddy found it necessary to give a sort of terrified gasp as she slumped down on her seat and covered her face with a magazine, and Lily rolled her eyes and murmured, "Typical..."

Sirius' eyes almost bulged out as he stared at the twins. "Wow!" he cried dramatically. "You two can do stuff at the same time without even knowing it. Talk about intuition. And _Bananas in Pyjamas_ replicants!"

"Bananas in _what_?" spluttered Remus.

"They're - they're cartoon characters used to entertain Muggle children and Sirius, how on _earth_ do you know so much about this?" Lily asked in amazement.

Sirius shrugged carelessly, "I had a Muggle neighbour and we used to watch it all the time. Happiest hours of my life."

Remus shook his head and said, "Right. So are we playing or not?"

"Definitely," Meddy said in a relieved tone, sitting up. "If it means we can stop talking about Muggle children's television programmes."

"But how do we play?"

"Well, do you know how to play Hide and Seek?" Meddy asked Sirius in a maddeningly patient way.

"Yeah, of _course_!"

"It's the opposite," chimed in Emily. "In Hide and Seek, everyone hides except for one person who has to find them. Then when they find them, the person who was found has to join the seeker in finding the others."

"But in Sardines," Penny continued explaining, "One person hides and _everyone else_ has to try and find them."

"And when someone finds the person who is hiding - let's just call them Peeves for now - they have to join them in hiding in the same spot," Meddy said.

"But how can ten people hide in the one spot?" Sirius wanted to know.

"That's the whole point; soon there'll be too many people cramped in the hiding spot, so it'll be obvious where - where _Peeves_ is hiding," Lily finished off.

"Oh, I knew that!" Sirius said matter-of-factly. "Okay, let's play!"

"Who's going to be _Peeves_?" Remus asked.

Everyone paused then turned to look at Lily, who blinked and was rather taken-aback. "Me?"

"Yes, Head Girl," Sirius said placidly. "We'll count to one hundred. You can hide anywhere on the train. Now go!"

"Oh, but - I - what - oh, fine," Lily yielded to the inevitable and quickly exited the compartment as everyone shut their eyes and began to count to a hundred in unison. Once she was outside, she hurried down past compartments, keeping a sharp eye out for a possible hiding spot on the Hogwarts Express. Her eyes spied on the large food trolleys, lined up neatly on the side and draped over with white cloths.

Perfect.

Twisting herself like a pretzel, Lily crammed herself into one of the trolleys with difficulty and adjusted the cloth so that she was completely obscured from vision. _There_, she thought with some relief. Now she just had to wait, the worst part of all. Hugging her knees to her chest, the redhead shut her eyes with anticipation.

_I can't believe I'm doing this. How do I get pulled into Sirius' games?_

A couple of minutes later, she heard Sirius' and Penny's voices as they walked past.

"I bet you can't say this properly," Sirius was saying boastfully. "Betty Botter had some butter. 'But,' she said, 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter - that would make my batter better.' " He smiled smugly at her.

"You're right, I can't say that," Penny replied. She gave him a quizzical look. "Is this what you do in your spare time?"

Lily sucked in her breath and watched their shadows through the cloth, but neither of them thought to look in the trolley. She let out her breath and braced herself as, a moment later, she heard Emily humming to herself cheerily. A second later, the cloth was lifted up and Em's face stared into Lily's.

"I found you!" the brunette exclaimed jubilantly.

"Fantastic Em, now please get in here before the others see!"

"Good gracious, Lil, how did you fit in here?" Emily groaned, trying to seat herself beside the redhead with much difficulty. True to the sometimes tedious nature of the game Sardines, the two girls were alone for the next few minutes.

"Lil?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think I should do after Hogwarts?"

Lily was surprised at Emily's solemn tone, something which didn't happen often.

"I'm not sure, Em... how about studying to become a Healer? You love helping people out. Or if that's too much studying for you to handle, you can become a nurse at St. Mungo's."

Emily looked thoughtful for a moment, then grinned and said, "Okay! I'm doing that."

Lily stared at her; it was just like Em to make snap-decisions and act on impulse, but this was her _future_ they were talking about. Then again, the chance of her actually sticking to being a nurse at St. Mungo's was slim to none. Em would probably come up with a new dream job by the next day and Lily was about to chide her about it when the cloth was lifted up a second time. Penny and Meddy were bending down, looking at them.

"Aha! Found you!"

"Wow, this is a great hiding spot," Penny said, looking around. "Er. How are we meant to fit?"

"And me," came a voice behind them. Remus had caught up with them.

"You three go and fill the other trolleys," Lily said, pointing. "Be quick!"

By some miracle, and with much grumbling and wincing, the three were soon sitting tightly in the trolleys, taking care to keep their limbs as close to their bodies as possible so that they wouldn't protrude out of the cloth and give their position away. They all sat in silence for the next few minutes. The most frustrating thing was that they heard Sirius, James and Peter all individually pass them at least five times and yet none of them bothered to check the trolleys.

"Why are they being so thick?" groaned Remus after ten minutes. His muscles were aching.

"Yeah, if they don't come soon I'm gonna - " started Penny ominously, but then shrieked and instinctively grabbed onto the trolley as the train braked suddenly and gave a great lurch. Several muffled shrieks and yelps came from startled students in their compartments, but none were louder than that of the girls' and Remus as they were thrown forwards out of their hiding spots and landed right in front of the surprised Sirius and James. The heavy trolleys, teetering dangerously, would have followed too, but were fortunately stopped by the two standing boys who grabbed them and pushed them back up.

Sirius grinned, "Look at that, Prongsie. They just fell right at our feet."

James also grinned, surveying the fallen figures groaning and moaning and struggling to sit up. "I guess that means we win."

"Yes, yes, you win," Meddy groaned, the first one to get to her feet. She looked down to her right at the half-bent over Remus and grabbed onto his arm to pull him upright. "Let's _never_ play again."

"Why did the train stop?" Emily asked curiously as they all got up, one by one, and massaged their ribs.

"Didn't you hear the announcement? There was a bird on the tracks."

"Honestly? That's so... such a Dumbledore-like thing to do."

"What, stop the train from running a bird over? Don't tell me _you_ wouldn't do that."

"Hey pumpkin," James said suddenly, seeing an opportunity to spend some more time alone with Lily. "We're Heads, right? We better make sure all the other students haven't been traumatised by this experience."

"Wh - what?" asked Lily wearily. "That's silly, Potter, and I'm tired..."

"Tut, tut, tut, others first, remember?"

Lily glared at him for a moment, then gave up and exclaimed, "Okay, fine, fine! I'm going, you manipulative..." She slapped him, not too hard, on the shoulder as she went past and he laughed at her.

"Ahh, it's all outta love," Sirius commented with a smile as they listened to them bicker and disappear down the corridor.

"Of course it is," Penny agreed.

"And one day, they will be _in_ love."

"One day? I think they love each other already."

They were fortunate Lily wasn't around to hear that particular remark, no matter how much truth or _un_truth it might contain.

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A/N: Thanks for the reviews! 'Twas lovely to see them. Yes indeed! Hope you enjoyed that chappie. :) - msq.


	4. A Normal First Day Back

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Four ll A Normal First Day Back**

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The Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade station. Penny and Emily jumped off, and were as excited and as undignified as one could get that they frightened the already nervous first-years. Of course, Sirius was right behind them.

Lily and James helped the other prefects direct the first-years to the boats, whilst also showing where the second-years should be going. Finally, every carriage was occupied and the seemingly magical carriages pulled themselves onwards to the school. Lily let out a deep breath as the magnificent castle came back into view again, and a smile broke across her face. She would never forget the awe-inspiring, uplifting feeling that had filled her when she first saw the castle, its many lit windows gleaming like jewels in the darkness.

James and Sirius were singing the school song again, this time in unison in a militaristic tune. They, along with the other students, were climbing the stone steps towards the huge castle doors.

The Sorting was conducted and the seventh-years watched it, feeling a sense of nostalgia and even loss as the tiny, wiry first-years scampered into their new Houses, not knowing that the funny-looking eleven-year-old sitting beside them would become their best friend over the years, not knowing that their House would become their family, and not knowing that in six years time, they would be sitting here again watching a fresh batch of first-years being Sorted...

Then Dumbledore rose and the banquest started at the clap of his hands, and Sirius became rather excited as a plate of roast chicken appeared before him. He ate it as quickly and monstrously as one should never eat when in the company of others.

James was hardly showing better table manners than Sirius; his mouth was always packed to exploding point and the only times he let his jaw rest was when he was having difficulty in swallowing or when he felt the need for SPEED...

...that is, pumpkin juice.

The girls chose to look at each other and their plates rather than risk feeling sick by chancing a glance at the boys.

When at last the pudding disappeared from the plates, leaving them sparkling clean, Dumbledore stood up again and spoke his words of welcome, wisdom and willpower. Finally, the age-old man said, "Now it's off to bed! Dear first-years, follow your House prefects to the common-room."

There was the usual rumble and scraping of benches as the students rose, stretching and smiling drowsily at one another. Lily and the other girls were lagging behind the group, chatting lazily, when James wove up towards them and grabbed her wrist.

"Ouch! What is it, Potter?"

James had a very serious expression on his face. "I just thought, as Head Girl, you have the right to know that there is a new vase in the Great Hall," he said somberly.

"Really? Where?"

"Over there!" he pointed and the redhead turned swiftly to look in interest. Grinning, James seized the chance and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He was off in a flash before Lily had registered what had happened.

"Hey - Potter!" she cried, chagrined, as he ran ahead merrily with his robes flying out behind him.

James turned his head and called gaily, "That concludes our first meeting as Heads!"

For several gobsmacked seconds Lily just stood there, until finally Penny took her by the shoulders and steered her along.

"It's okay, Lil. Just ignore him. We don't need you having any seizures before you take your N.E.W.T's."

* * *

James Potter awoke the next morning in good spirits. It was early and the sky was giving a fresh, minty light that he hardly noticed; he never got up early, but had done so today in hopes to stalk - no wait, _accompany_ - one Lily Evans. He had heard she was an early bird and therefore he, too, must be an early bird (or stag, they were so much more handsome and useful) in order to show that they _did_ have something in common.

The end.

His stomach gave a jolt of excitement as he entered the Great Hall. It was almost empty, with only a handful of students here and there on the four long House tables. Only the teachers' table appeared to have the most people sitting on it.

Looking around, James spotted Lily at the Gryffindor table, reading a novel, eating a muffin _and_ talking to another girl sitting beside her.

He was impressed. That girl was talented.

Grabbing a croissant and stuffing it in his mouth, James walked swiftly further down the table and sat opposite and a few seats down from Lily. Pretending he had no idea of this, he took the crossiant out his mouth and began buttering it as if his whole soul was absorbed in it. When he realised that, to an observer, his crossiant appeared to be some pastry with a chunk of butter on top, he grabbed the jam jar and began spooning that on top of it instead.

Out of the corner of his eye, James monitored Lily's every move and even managed to hear snippits of her conversation with her friend. This went on for almost half an hour (his crossiant was all dewy and damp with butter and jam), with Lily completely engrossed in her novel after the departure of her friend. She also ate about fifty muffins, which James found incredibly adorable.

"Morning!"

He glanced up to see Penny and Meddy making their way over to Lily. He quickly put his head down, absently shoving the crossiant in his mouth and making a retching noise.

_Curses! Too much butter._

The girls looked across at him in surprise and concern as he spat out the mess into a napkin.

"Oh, hello, James," Penny greeted, shooting Lily a furtive look as she did so, "Err... are you okay?"

"Here, have some orange juice." Meddy passed a goblet over, which a spluttering James took, trying to look suave and cool while doing so. He ended up sticking his elbow in the butter dish.

_The butter is not my friend today,_ he thought grimly.

Lily shook her head while her friends exchanged amused looks, and then chuckled quietly to herself. Potter shoving his elbow into the butter dish was just too entertaining.

What a fool.

And she had noticed him all morning, buttering his crossiant and all.

Honestly.

What a completely foolish, adorable idiot.

* * *

Poor little Professor Flitwick was running around the noisy and action-packed classroom, trying to help everyone at once. Because the students were just so _incompetent_ at the Silencing Spell.

James turned around to look at Lily, watching intently as she charmed her raven (for the umpteenth time) to stop making such a racket. She returned the gaze and said coolly, "Turn around, Potter."

He smiled sweetly, "Why?"

"Girl talk," answered Emily, poking at her bullfrog in frustration. It continued croaking and she glared at it. "Quiet, I say! QUIET! Silencio. _Silencio. _SILENCIOOOO!"

"Include me, I'm a girl!" James insisted with a dazzling smile after Emily had calmed down.

"Oh really?" Lily raised an eyebrow and a smirk crossed her mouth, "So how's your monthly cycle going, Potter? Would that explain why you're such a _prick_ at certain times?"

"Oooh," said Penny dramatically.

James stared at them, decided that they were not to be meddled with, and turned back to his MUCHO sane friend, Sirius.

Yes, Sirius.

A few minutes later, trying hard to ignore the giggling and girly chatting behind him, James was called by Meddy. He turned around apprehensively, "Err... yes, ladies?"

"I was just wondering, James, on the charming topic of your menstruation cycle," Meddy said conversationally, while his eyebrows went even higher, "Whether you use Libra or Stayfree?"

"I... uh..."

_What the heck are those? Some kind of disease?_

"Libra... I suppose," James finally answered with a weak smile, hoping to make his grand escape. Girl conversations were dangerous waters, he now realised.

They giggled hysterically, and Meddy managed to gasp out, "And tampons?"

"Oh, but of course," he said solemnly.

"Ahh, but of _course_," repeated Penny sagely, though she was struggling to contain her laughter, "And what size, James? Mini? Super?"

"Oh, neither," James said, now beginning to quite enjoy himself; making others laugh, even if it was at his expense, always made him more comfortable and genial, "I believe _mega_ is the way to go."

The girls exploded into laughter, and James smiled indulgently as he watched particularly the redhead. After awhile, Lily calmed down enough to say, "Okay... that was a little more than disturbing. Here ends our girly interrogation, Potter. You are free to turn around."

"Game on," James muttered as he turned back to Sirius. Sirius held out two frogs, asking for his opinion.

"So mini or super?"

James stared at him in horror. "Oh, Merlin..."

Fortunately, the bell rang then and the class stopped screaming spells as they packed away their things. Lily clutched some books to her chest, including her diary, as she exited the classroom with Meddy. They chattered and complained about their next Potions class and James and Remus caught up with them. Noticing her diary, James snatched it at once and broke into a run when she tried to grab it back.

"Aha, and what sort of girly conversations are documented in here, you suppose?" James teased.

"POTTER!" Lily shrieked, righting the other books she was holding, "Give it back!"

"What's the magic word?"

"I'm going to _hex_ you!" she threatened, pushing her books into the arms of an alarmed Meddy. Without warning, Lily charged at him, knocking James into the wall behind him.

"Hey, Evans - _whoa_, calm down!" he spluttered, trying to hold her arms back from beating every part of him she could reach. She was so petite, it was almost comical. Several students stopped to watch the spectacle.

Out of breath, Lily switched tactics and grabbed his wand instead. She threw it blindly and it sailed right out of the huge, arch windows.

Silence for a second.

And then -

"OW! What the heck?" an affronted yell came from below.

Remus and Meddy rushed to the window, taking care not to get too close in case they fell out as well. James and Lily were hot on their heels.

Downstairs was Sirius, holding up the offending wand and glaring at it. "Who threw this stupid wand?" he hollered, "Who dares contact the head of Sirius Black with this no-good, ill ridden piece of wood - "

"DON'T SNAP IT FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!" James hollered back, making Sirius look up at once, "It's MINE! Get up here!"

Lily looked sheepish, glancing at James as he ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. "Oops. Sorry," she said.

He shook his head in despair, "Of all things, my wand!"

A bunch of first-years obviously held back in class burst out into the corridor then, flooding the small area as they began to jostle and hurry to their next lesson. Several small kids buffeted Lily and James, who lost his grip on her diary so that it slid out of his grasp and out the window.

"OUCH! What the - again? - THIS ISN'T FUNNY! THROWING THINGS AT ME - DO YOU SEE ME LAUGHING?"

Sirius was having a bad day.

"This is insane," James muttered as Lily started hyperventilating about her diary. He shook his head, fought through the crowd of first-years and tore down the stairs to get his wand from Sirius.

"Lil, let's get out of here - " Meddy started to say, tugging at Lily's sleeve, but -

"What's your problem, you git?" one of the first-years yelled, shoving another boy.

"Don't push me, Wimbler!" the other one spat.

_SPLASH._

"My potion!" the former boy yelled, "You'll pay for this, Wimbler!"

"Eat slugs, Kakari!"

"Hey, stop fighting!" Meddy cried as a circle formed around the two boys and first-years began chanting, "FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Lily prepared herself for full Head Girl mode, stepping forward to settle things down, when Wimbler pounced forward and shoved Kakari. Kakari swore and stumbled backwards, knocking hard into Lily.

The redhead gasped and grabbed onto Meddy, but Meddy gave way and so Lily tripped and fell backwards, right out of the window. Her scream lasted for the same split second it took for all the first-years to give a collective gasp and run over to get a better look. Penny and Meddy screamed at the same time, "LILY!"

James was helping Sirius gather his stray books when he heard the screams and looked up. Lily was falling. Down. Now. Onto them.

"Holy - " Sirius said blankly, looking up too.

James instantly dropped all the books and held out his arms, but the catch was abrupt and both collapsed onto the ground.

Penny and Meddy sighed in relief, clutching one another. The first-years hooted appreciatively and began to applaud, the fight already forgotten. Remus gave a small smile, glancing at the two on the ground, both coughing. He watched as a flushed Lily hopped off James and then held out a hand to help him up.

"Well," he said, grimly, "I suppose this is a normal sort of first day back..."

* * *

A/N: Hehe Haha Hoho. Hehe. Story of my life... these things really do happen to me. Those STRANGE, BIZARRE questions was an occurrence in Science, when a boy bothering us was silenced by our "girly interrogation". :P And possessions do fly out of windows in my school, such as hats, although PEOPLE haven't been subjected to that yet... Hehe. :) - msq.


	5. Look, A Wall!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Five ll Look, A Wall!**

**

* * *

**

CUE BUGLE.

THE NEXT DAY.

TRANSFIGURATION - CLASS NUMERO ONE.

LILY: ARRIVING LATE BECAUSE OF A MEETING WITH PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE THE GREAT.

LILY: (runs)

DOOR: (opens)

LILY: (breathless) Sorry, Professor McGonagall.

CUT THE SCRIPT.

The only seat available, of course (due to clever scheming and preparation), was beside James Potter. He smiled serenely at Lily when her eyes landed on him in something like distaste.

"Never mind, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said tolerably, "Please take a seat and take out your book. We're on page one hundred."

Lily walked very slowly to the Seat of Horrors...

...the seat next to James. She dumped her bag onto the table and pulled out her books, trying very hard to ignore James who was looking expectantly at her. Finally, Lily looked up and glared swiftly at him by way of greeting. His smirk widened.

_**Late to class? Oh dear, Miss Evans.**_

Lily grimaced at the scrap of parchment he'd silently slid to her and was half in mind to ignore it when her haughty side got the better of her. She picked up her quill and wrote steadily.

_"Oh dear" doesn't quite sum it up. I have to sit next to __you__._

_**That hurts, pumpkin. It really does.**_

She hid a smile when she saw his reply. _Shouldn't you be used to it by now? _

_**Maybe. Yeah.**_

_Then why do you still put up with it?_

_**Because I know, deep down, you love me.**_

Lily rolled her eyes. _Whatever you think._

_**Love is pain, darling.**_

James muffled a laugh when she threw him an exasperated look, her own mouth twitching against her will. Sometimes, his arrogance made her laugh. At that moment, however, Professor McGonagall made an announcement to the class to start their practical work.

"Kindly take out your wands and start practising the enchantment."

The class scrambled up and began to transfigure their quills into flowers. Lily was having trouble perfecting the spell; Transfiguration had never really liked her and the feeling was mutual, no matter how much effort she put into the stupid subject.

James, on the other hand, had an inexplicable gift in Transfiguration.

"You're doing it wrong, pumpkin," he said teasingly, taking her hand and guiding her, "You should be holding it like this."

Lily shook his hand away irritably, "I can do it myself!"

"So you say..."

"Be quiet, Potter!"

Meddy and Emily snuck over to them, leaving Penny behind with Sirius. Sirius was talking non-stop and Penny looked a little frazzled. The poor girl.

"Hey, Lil," Emily said apologetically, "We tried to save you a spot with us, but... it didn't work out," she finished a little mysteriously, as if omitting details too gory to include. She did shoot a look at James as she said this, and Lily got the general picture. The redhead sighed.

"It's okay," she said patiently, "Potter knows what he's getting himself into, I suppose."

James flashed a grin.

"Ah," Meddy said, nodding her head, "Been having more talks about your monthly cycle, James?"

James inwardly suppressed a shiver at that memory, but said cheerfully, "Oh, the very best. We can only manage to talk when dear Lily isn't struggling with this spell, though." She scowled at him and the two girls smiled at their banter.

"I am not struggling!"

"Then why are you so defensive?" he teased.

She instantly made her face passive, "I'm not."

"Ah, they are so made for each other," Meddy said wisely as she and Emily went back to their own seats, leaving James and Lily behind.

Lily eyed James' casual wand movement jealously; he would only wave it and his quill would change into a flower and back again with little effort. Each time it took the form of a flower, it was different from the previous one. Yellow sunflower, quill, pink tulip, quill, red rose, quill, yellow pansy, quill...

"You're still doing it incorrectly," James said critically a few minutes later, when Lily picked up her flower which had feathers for petals. He took it from her, set it in front of him and flicked his wand while clearly articulating the incantation. The pathetic quill flower changed into a pretty, healthy, white lily at once.

James smiled and handed it to her, "For you."

"Oh... thanks," Lily said awkwardly, permitting herself a small smile as she took the flower.

James pretended to pout, "Just a thanks? That's it?"

"What else were you expecting?" she asked warily.

"Hmm, I don't know... isn't the standard a hug? Or a peck on the cheek?"

Lily flushed, and not only from anger, "In your dreams, Potter!'

James snickered, surveying her heated cheeks, "Defensive again, are we?" he said lightly.

"You are absolutely insufferable, Potter," Lily murmured, her eyes shut.

"I'll be quiet if you give me a kiss," he bargained slyly.

Her eyes opened in a severe glare so that he recoiled. "Do you remember my magic word, Potter?" Lily said dangerously.

"Err... 'I'm going to hex you'?" James tried.

"Exactly. Now shut up and leave me alone if you know what's good for you."

* * *

"Prongs, I want a race," whined Sirius as they walked to their next class, Divination, taught by the unusually stern and strict Professor Fluinskill.

"Sure," James said easily, "Running race?"

"Yeah!

"Ready... on your marks... one - two - GO!"

"What the - HEY!"

James pounded down the corridor with Sirius hot on his heels; James was still the faster runner and Sirius knew that. He grinned as they continued running, students diving out of the way. Carefully and subtly, Sirius took out his wand and conjured a wall up a few feet ahead of James.

"WHOA!"

James ran smack bam into the wall, and Sirius, still running at full tilt, tripped over James' body and smacked his head against said wall. The two seventh-year boys were sprawled out on the ground, clutching their faces in agony. Remus sighed. The girls, all laughing hysterically, went over to help them back up.

"Potter, hurry up!" Lily said shrilly while the twins dragged Sirius out of the way, "You do realise you're my partner in tea-leaf reading, and if you're late then Fluinskill will somehow put the blame on me!"

"Yes, the man is simply talented that way," Emily nodded.

James, still sitting pathetically on the ground, looked up and tried to smile at Lily even though his eyes were unfocused. His head felt as though it had been cleaved in two.

"How about that kiss, then?" he asked.

Lily's cheeks reddened indignantly, "_What_?"

"What kiss?" Penny asked in swift interest.

"There is no kiss!" Lily yelled.

James gasped dramatically, "I'm hurt, Lily. Even after I gave you that beautiful flower? Fine, I'll just stay sitting here like a pathetic, unloved orphan." Meddy giggled while Lily groaned aloud, torn between smacking James and... well, smacking James even harder.

James smiled angelically at her, "I'm waiting." He inwardly braced himself for a blow to the head, and was stunned when she swooped down and gave him a peck on the cheek so quickly that it was over by the time James released his breath.

Lily was a bright tomato red, looking incredibly adorable in his opinion, but said impatiently, "Now, come _on_, Potter!"

James grinned and leapt to his feet effortlessly, absolutely elated. Without waiting for her permission, he grabbed Lily's hand and began running to class with her. She shrieked, pulled along, but didn't try to fight him off for once.

The rest stared blankly after them.

"Wow," Sirius said, awed as he rubbed his eyes, "Did that just happen?"

"You mean, did Lily just kiss James on the cheek?" Penny asked, equally bewildered. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Em? Meddy? Remus?"

"I think we're going to be late for class if we don't move," Remus said placidly, and that was the cue for everyone to chivvy along, hurrying to their Divination classroom. The rest of the class were still in the process of sitting down, chatting and taking out their gear. Professor Fluinskill was barking out orders.

"Sit with your partners! Books out. Dream diaries out. Homework on desk. Get a cup, one between two. No - uh - Miss Leng, you don't need to get a cup. You can... ah... recall more of your dreams and interpret them with your partner. All right, everyone? Good... now drink the tea and swivel the dregs around. _Miss Leng I told you not to get a cup! The school does not have an endless supply, girl!_"

"Okay," Lily said breathlessly, after she had taken out all her books and set them on her table, "Now - Potter!"

James hiccoughed on the tea he had already been drinking and spat out a large quantity of liquid and tea leaves onto Lily's dream diary. She stared at it in horror while James pounded his chest, still coughing loudly.

"Potter! Evans! What's all the ruckus?"

Professor Fluinskill was hovering above them, most disapproving as he picked up Lily's dream diary and glanced at James (with tea leaves still plastered over his chin). "I am very surprised to see this, Evans," the teacher said shrewdly, "There is tea all over your work and you have allowed Potter to devour the tea leaves when you are supposed to be drinking the tea itself. Can you explain this?"

Lily fumbled over her words, "It was - an accident, professor - "

"It's not her fault," James managed to speak up, wiping away the mess from his face, "I - "

"I didn't expect anything less from you, Potter," sighed Professor Fluinskill, "You're always up to some fresh sort of idiocy. I simply cannot read this, Evans," he added, setting the dream diary back down. "You will rewrite this for me tonight in my office. And Potter... you will join Evans for detention also."

"What am I going to do?" James asked, slightly confused.

"Who knows," Professor Fluinskill said under his breath, then said louder, "You'll find out." And he walked away.

Lily was unnaturally still and stayed that way for so long that a concerned James nudged her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Do I have detention?" she finally whispered.

He smiled sheepishly, "Yeah. Sorry about that. But it's not that bad, I promise."

Lily frowned, biting her lip and looking so worried that James clamped his hands on either side of her face and forced her to look at him. "Oi, cheer up, Evans," he said sternly, "I'll make it the best detention man has ever gone on. Okay?"

Lily sighed and shook her head while he grinned. "Ugh, okay, okay, Potter. But I'll have you know this is... the _first_ detention I've ever got. Because of you!" The shock had still not worn off, apparently.

"Are you serious? You should thank me, then."

"I'm not even going to ask you why."

"Thanks, that really makes things easier."

"Just pass me the teapot. Please, Potter."

* * *

HISTORY OF MAGIC.

The next class was inevitably boring. James doodled all over his piece of parchment, his head in one hand. Sirius was snoring lightly, his head against the desk. Remus was sleepily playing with his quill, slowly pulling each feather out.

Lily, somehow and for the third time that day sitting next to James, was playing hangman with Meddy on the corner of her parchment. Emily sucked on her sugar quill dreamily, her eyes glazed over while she nodded whenever Professor Binns paused in his droning. Penny, like Sirius, had her head on the desk. She had been like that for the last half an hour.

Finally, James couldn't take it anymore. Standing up, he announced loudly, "Excuse me, sir, but Lily feels sick."

Lily paused in the middle of drawing the gallows and looked up. "What?" she whispered, horrified. "Stop! Don't do this!" she continued to mouth at James, waving her hands over her head, but he paid her no heed.

Professor Binns looked mildly surprised, "Sick, you say? Yes - yes, Perkins. Take her to the wing then."

And then he resumed his lesson.

James beamed at a stunned Lily while he pushed all her books into her bag and swung it over his shoulder. "Come on, Lily, you don't want to infect the rest of the class," he said very seriously, taking her by the arm and pulling her up.

"I'm not sick!" she hissed at him while the rest of the class watched.

"Sure you are. Now come on, or do you want me to carry you?" James raised his eyebrows, trying not to laugh at her expression.

At last they got out of the classroom and Lily shoved him away from her, grabbing her bag from him in the process. "What are you playing at, Potter?" she demanded, "This isn't _right_ - it's like skiving off class! I'm going back inside - "

"Oh, no you don't," James said cheerily, grabbing both her arms and pulling her away with him, "You're going to thank me, dear pumpkin. I'm going to take you to Hogsmeade."

Lily stared at him, "You've really lost it this time."

* * *

A/N: Lol. I quite like this chapter. Lots of fluff. I think. Hehe. Anyway, thank you for reviewing my kind, kind reviewers! I posted a new fic, and I've finished the entire story for it, so it won't get in the way of updating this story and my other one. Yeah. Hehe. I just remembered, the first story I've ever written (from what I remember) was in year 2. I know this because I got an award for it. XD Lol. I was about 6 or 7 then. Cya! – msq.


	6. A Run Through The Rain

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Six ll A Run Through The Rain**

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"Where the frick are you taking me, Potter?" Lily demanded to know as James led her to... well, Merlin knows where.

"Patience, my dear Lillian," James responded a bit absently, as he figured out which corridor to take, "Curiosity killed the cat."

"Well I'm not a cat," Lily retorted, jerking her arm out of his grasp and folding her arms firmly in front of chest.

"Yeah," James stopped looking around and turned to her with a smirk, "You're more of a fox, aren't you?"

Lily smacked him.

"Ow! Crap, Lily, that hurt! Now come _on_," James moaned, rubbing the spot on his arm where she had hit him.

"_Where are we going_?" Lily seethed between clenched teeth.

"To the common-room! Hurry up now!" James finally said impatiently, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the Gryffindor tower.

"I am not skiving History of Magic!" Lily yelled at him as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"What are you doing now?" James smirked at her, giving the password.

"Potter, let go of me!"

"...No."

When they reached the common-room, James released her.

"Finally!" Lily breathed, rubbing her arm.

"I have to go to my dormitory. Wanna come with?"

Lily's eyes widened in disbelief and horror, "Oh _Merlin no._"

"You're thinking disturbing," James said with a snort of laughter, "Okay then, stay down here. I just need to fetch a few things before we set off to Hogsmeade."

"Potter, you cannot make me skip class to go to _Hogsmeade_. It's illegal! How are we supposed to get there, anyway?!"

James rubbed his temples, "You talk a lot. Anyway, just stay here, pumpkin, and I'll be back in a jiffy!"

Lily stared after him as he climbed up the stairs, two at a time, and disappeared. She stood there, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. Then she looked around the common-room and dimly appreciated that this was the first and possibly last time she'd be there in the middle of a school day.

James came thundering down the stairs a minute later, as a seven-year-old child would on Christmas morning. He was carrying a silvery cloak, a rolled up piece of parchment, his wand and a bag of what seemed to be full of money.

He looked up and grinned when he saw Lily standing there, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Good! You actually stayed. You really _do_ love me," James cooed, kissing her briefly on the cheek when he reached her.

"Sod off, you sod!" Lily said angrily, vexed to find herself blush.

"Denial, denial," James said with a small sigh, "Come, let us go to Hogsmeade!" And with further ado, he linked his arms with Lily's and pulled her towards the portrait.

"Stop for a second," he whispered when they stepped out into the corridor.

"Potter, I am not--"  
  
"Come on, you won't miss out on any important facts or figures in that class. Just come with me to the pretty little village," James murmured, getting a bit impatient. He picked up the cloak and threw it over them.

"Uhh..." Lily said nervously, "What are you doing?"

"Stop talking, woman! If you keep talking, people will think they're hearing voices... 'Cause we're invisible."

Lily almost fainted.

They walked around Hogwarts for a moment, with the Head Boy leading.

James mumbled, "_I solemnly swear I am up to no good_," while tapping the piece of parchment with his wand. Lily glanced over and saw lines and dots appearing.

"Hmm... nope, Filch is steer clear away and so is everyone else, as a matter of fact. Come on now, dear pumpkin," James tugged her over to a statue of a one-eyed witch.

Lily followed him reluctantly, though that may be because she was scared out of her mind and was as nervous as anything.

James tapped the map with a, "_Mischief managed!_", before turning the wand to the statue and tapping it with a, "_Dissendium_!"

A human-sized hole appeared where the witch's hump was.

Lily almost fainted again.

Smiling gleefully, James shrugged off the cloak and folded it neatly. When he finished and tucked it underneath his arm, he looked surprised to see Lily still standing there.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get in, now!"

Lily stopped staring at the hole and turned to him with a sort of snap in her eyes, "I am not going in there! Who knows what's in there! Or what's lying at the end of the... tunnel. Potter, how the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Open up this hole!"

"I will not answer that," James said simply.

Lily stared at him, flabbergasted. Then she said, "I'm not getting in there. I don't want to see what's lying at the end."

"Candy."

"Huh?"

"Listen, Evans," James sighed, rubbing his temples, "Just get your arse in that hole, crawl, and I promise NO harm will come to you."

"No."

James reached over, picked her up, ("Just what do you think you're doing? Put me _down_!"), and pushed her into the hole. He blocked the entrance so she couldn't crawl back out.

"Potter!"

"Lily, just crawl already."

The redhead nervously followed his order. She didn't like the dark, nor how it smelt odd, but she realised that even James wouldn't put her in any critical harm... buckets of water falling on heads, of course, not included in James' "critical danger" category...

The tunnel seemed to drag on for forever. James insisted on singing, "Nine hundred and ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred and ninety-nine bottles of BEER!"

He was at "seven hundred and forty-two bottles of beer on the wall" when they finally reached the end of the tunnel and found the trapdoor, which just goes to show how long the the passage way really was.

James managed to push past Lily so that he got out of the tunnel first. She wasn't happy about this at all; although she was wary about what lay beyond the trapdoor, she didn't much appreciate the dark area she was enclosed in either.

Like a gentlemen, Mr. Potter offered her a hand and helped her up.

"Wow... where are we?" Lily wanted to know, looking around and shaking her hair.

"Honeydukes cellar," James said grandly.

Lily looked shocked, "Are you serious?!" She took a few steps towards the wooden staircase and peered up, "Whoa... it really is Honeydukes up there!"

"Of course it is. Would I lie to you?" James asked, pretending to be offended. He was tucking the map and the cloak in a loose floorboard he had pried up. He took her book bag (and she didn't even notice) and also put it underneath the loose floorboard.

Lily was still looking around. They were surrounded by boxes and boxes that were marked with "Jelly Slugs" and "Ice Mice".

"Come on, let's go enjoy ourselves!" James said brightly, taking her hand. Together they ran up the stairs, ducked and "blended in" with the other customers, before walking out of the store.

Lily was amazed to find herself on the usual, merry, main street of Hogsmeade.

"But... how... why... can we... huh?" she spluttered, looking around.

James found this endearingly adorable, and grinned as he bent over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

Lily snapped out of her reverie and gave him an evil glare. She tried to shake his hand off her own, but realised that she rather liked it there.

"So where shall we visit today, pumpkin? The Three Broomsticks? Zonko's? The Shrieking Shack? MadamPuddifoot's? DiscoDivaGirl'sWorldOfFashionJewelleryandClothes?" James spilled out the last two suggestions, as they were places he did NOT want to go to.

But he'd do anything for Lily.

Anything.

Even stand in that terrible Mugglish place waiting for _days_ while Lily tried on all the latest styles and gushed that she needed new earrings, new hats, new _underwear_, even.

Then again, Lily Evans did not strike James as that sort of girl.

But you never know.

Even the sanest people you know might sleep with pictures of Paul McCartney under their pillows.

"Disco Diva's?" Lily gasped out loud, her eyes lighting up.

James silently cursed himself. Yep, she definitely fitted into the "insane-on-the-_inside_" category.

She must've caught his downcast look because she suddenly rushed on, "Oh... but not with you, Potter. I only go there with my friends. _Girl_friends. What about the Three Broomsticks?"

James felt like he had been born again.

"Aha! Yes! Yay! Yippee! Let us go now! Hurrah! Whoopee! Doo-dah!"

"Potter, do shut up. People are staring at us."

"Ah -- yes, alright then."

They had walked into the Three Broomsticks.

They walked over to the bar.

And had an argument.

"I'll pay for it, okay? Geez Louise, lady, it'll be _alright_!"

"No way! You are _not_ paying for me. Okay? I just won't drink anything!"

"I will _pay_!"

"No way!"

"Pay!"

"Nay!"

"Pay!"

"Nay!"

"_Pay_!"

"_Nay_!"

"Will you two please... decide?" enquired the barlady politely.

"Two Butterbeers," James said firmly, slapping the silver coins down.

Lily slapped him on the arm, "_One _Butterbeer, he means."

"Yeah, with another one on the side."

"But that one disappears."

"And reappears again."

"And fades back into non-existence."

"Then we can get another one and call it Butterbeer Junior."

"Or Butterbeer II."

"So we agree?" James asked hopefully.

"Agree to _what_?"

"That we get two Butterbeers."

"That are drunken both by you, yes," Lily said sweetly.

"How's about I drink half of the two--"

"That means you would only drink one."

"--yeah, and split the other half with you? Sharing is caring."

"Sharing is for losers."

"Are you calling me a loser?"

"I'm calling you a fool, now will you please tell the poor woman you want one Butterbeer?"

"Two Butterbeers, please," James said politely.

Ten minutes later, the two were sitting in the corner with _three_ Butterbeers in front of them. One was for Mr. Squiggles, James' little friend.

Lily clearly thought he was insane, but she didn't really mind.

When they finished their Butterbeers and their conversation, which resulted in an argument whether "garbage men" and "rubbish guys" were the same thing, James got an evil smile on his face (_I knew he couldn't stay this nice for long_, Lily thought despairingly) and got up.

"Come over here. Let's dance," he said softly, walking over and taking her hand.

There was a dance floor at the Three Broomsticks; a small area with polished floorboards. Muggle music was always being played, very, very softly.

"Huh," was all Lily could say.

"Come on, pumpkin. We need to practice, anyway. Head Boy and Head Girl need to have a solo dance at the beginning of the Graduation Ball this year," James reminded.

"Stupid tradition," Lily muttered, slowly rising to her feet.

James grinned at her and brought her over to the dance floor gently.

"Okay, okay. But just to warn you, I'm really bad," Lily murmured, looking displeased.

"I know you are, my sweet pumpkin."

"Hey!"

"What? You admitted it!" James said, still grinning. Gently, he held her by the waist and she reluctantly wrapped her arms around his neck.

_This is so bloody cheesy_, she thought seethingly, though she couldn't exactly ignore the odd flutter in her stomach and heart.

"This is the worst day ever," Lily grumbled.

"You talk too much," James sighed, slowly moving in time with the music.

Lily suddenly flashed a smile at him, "I bet you don't like me half as much as you used to."

James also grinned as he laid his chin down to a rest on her shoulder, "You wish, pumpkin. As a matter of fact, I find your capability to ramble quite adorable."

She groaned.

Five minutes later, she groaned again.

Because she suddenly realised that James Potter was... _was not a prick._ He was sweet, loving and gentle. And that made Lily uneasy, because _she ruddy well was not supposed to notice such things about him_!

And also, she sort of found him cute. And charming. And she just wanted to hug him because he looked so huggable. Like a teddy bear.

Thus, those are the reasons why she groaned.

Of course, James knew none of that.

"What's the matter?"

"Everything," Lily mumbled into his chest, which her face was buried in. She was holding onto him as if she never wanted to let go.

When the slow, romantic and beautiful song ended, James bent down and kissed her swiftly on the cheek. She rolled her eyes, bit back a smile, but didn't hit him.

"We have to go, pumpkin," he murmured into her ear, still holding onto her waist.

Lily bit her lip and buried her face in his shoulder, "Okay..."

Oh my, she doesn't want to leave.

Oh my, she wants to continue dancing with him.

Oh my, it looks like it's going to rain.

When they were outside, shielded a bit by the sign that said "THE THREE BROOMSTICKS", James looked up at the cloudy sky and frowned.

"It looks like it's going to--"

"RAIN!" Lily shrieked, as a small droplet hit her nose. Instinctively, she grabbed onto James' arm because she was so shocked at that small tiny droplet of water falling from the heavens onto The Chosen Nose-- which was her's. James, a bit startled yet amused, smiled when he saw that she was holding onto him. He liked it. He liked it very much.

_SPLATTER._

The rain suddenly cascaded down like the clouds had been holding it in for months.

Lily screamed again. They both dived back into the Three Broomsticks, gasping for dear life.

"That was unexpected," James murmured, looking out of the window to see the rain falling heavily outside. The dark, cloudy sky was split into two by a streak of lightning.

"What do we do now?" Lily said in a small voice. She jumped a little when a very loud clap of thunder sounded.

"We snog!" James said brightly, then he looked sideways at her, "Hey-- you aren't _scared_, are you?"

"No!"

"Oh, Merlin, my little pumpkin is scared of thunder!" he cried gleefully, wrapping an arm around her and drawing her closer.

"Urgh! Geroff me, Potter!" Lily yelled muffledly, blushing furiously.

James just smiled affectionately at her and hugged her tighter, singing (out of tune), "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when times are grey!"

Customers were staring at them. Some were smiling at Lily's obvious discomfort, others thought they were a little... well, sad.

"Okay," James murmured, turning away from the people looking at them, "What do we do now, pumpkin?"

"We need to go back!" Lily said indignantly, "It's almost time for lunch."

"Alrighty then, let's make a run for it!" James said brightly, moving over to the door and pulling it open.

Lily's mouth dropped open, "Potter, _have you lost your marbles_? It's pouring outside!"

"It's just a sprinkle, you little pretty party pooper," James said good-naturedly, "Come on, pumpkin. Honeydukes is just around the corner and down a bit. We can run there pretty quickly and I garuntee that we won't get a bit wet!"

"Huh!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're being purposely deceitful."

James rolled his eyes. He walked out of the joyful bar and stood outside, under the sign. Lily mumbled an "idiot", turned her back to the glass door and folded her arms stubbornly.

There was _no_ way she was going outside at this time.

Absolutely _no way_.

She wasn't stupid enough to run through pouring rain. While it was thundering as well.

Honestly, who was stupid enough to run through a _thunderstorm_?

Lily wasn't.

She frowned, clicked her tongue, dropped her firmly-crossed arms and reluctantly walked out of the Three Broomsticks.

"I'm refusing to run out there," wailed Lily, watching as the water turned into ice and began pounding the streets of Hogsmeade.

James looked at her and smirked, "Decided to come out, didja? Anyhow, it'll be fun!"

"No, it wo--!"

James instantly seized her arm and began pelting down the street. Lily screamed.

"Let go of me, Potter! I'm going to slip!"

"No you won't!"

They ran, amidst the water and ice, ducking every time they saw lightning flash or when they heard the sometimes frighteningly loud and sometimes low rumbling of thunder.

"Honeydukes is just up ahead!" James yelled. He was yelling because the pounding of rain and ice and the occasional thunder was making it very hard to hear things properly.

Lily didn't say anything. She felt a sneeze rising in her but it wasn't coming out. Because she felt so cold and shivery, she gripped onto James' hand tighter and he squeezed her back.

They took the final few steps towards the candy store and pushed themselves in, gasping and dripping water all over the highly-polished floor.

Of course, lots of people stared at them.

"That -- was -- cold," Lily gasped, completely drenched.

"I'll say," James agreed breathlessly, "Come on... Wow, I've been saying "come on" too much."

Lily just smiled. James still had not let go of her hand and she didn't mind. He tugged her over to the chocolate section, where he bought a giant box to share.

Sharing is caring.

They snuck down into the cellar and sat there for a little while, eating and experimenting the different flavors of the chocolate.

"Mmmm, this is creamy strawberry," Lily said, licking her lips. She popped the rest of the chocolate into her mouth.

"Can I try?" James asked in a mischievous voice.

"Sure," Lily pushed the box towards him, "They're the ones with the pink tip at the top."

"I didn't mean like that," he replied, faking a crestfallen look.

Lily swallowed and looked at him, a little confused. James, at the moment, looked completely adorable and she felt the urge to hug him again.

"Then what _did_ you mean?" she asked quizzically.

"I meant," James was speaking quite softly as he leant over, "Like this."

And he kissed her softly and gently, as if afraid he'd break her.

Lily was uncapable of doing anything. She felt her body go slack and several jolts raced up and down her spine.

When James broke off, he smiled and licked his lips.

"Mmm, nice. Strawberry."

Fortunately, it was rather dark in the cellar so he didn't see Lily's blush. She did, however, roll her eyes and lightly slap James on the cheek.

"That was rude," she replied softly, hoping that the pink tinge on her cheeks would soon fade away.

"It was tasty," James said teasingly.

Lily threw him a small smile, taking him by surprise.

When half of the huge box of chocolate was eaten, and the two felt quite sick, James got to his feet and took out the stuff he had hid under the floorboard. He handed Lily her bag.

Then they ventured back to Hogwarts, the Marauder way. James took up where he had left off, singing, "Seven hundred and forty-two bottles of beer on the wall, seven hundred and forty-two bottles of BEER! You take one down, pass it around, seven hundred and forty-one bottles of beer on the wall."

Inspite of herself, Lily joined in.

When James helped her out of the hole of the one-eyed witch's hump, both were singing under their breath, "Four hundred and ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall."

"So," James said with a smile, throwing the cloak over him and Lily, "Did you enjoy our first date?"

Lily looked mortified, "That was not a date, Potter! It most certainly was not!"

James sighed, "Whatever you say, pumpkin."

The bell then rang as they walked slowly towards their History of Magic classroom. Their class was obviously held back in because they didn't come out until five minutes after.

During those five minutes, Lily turned to James, stood on tip-toe and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks for that," she whispered, blushing a little.

James, unable to comprehend what just happened, grinned silly-like and murmured dazedly, "Four hundred and ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall..." when Remus asked him what he was smiling about.

----------

A/N: I'm pretty angry because someone "borrowed" my Sardines-on-the-Hogwarts-Express idea and when one of my reviewers pointed it out to them, they came and told me how they were sorry and everything. I told them it was okay as long as they gave me credit. They also borrowed the idea of James sneaking Lily out of History of Magic to go to Hogsmeade, ALONG with the dance at TTB and them running through the rain. Well, they didn't really give me credit. What the hell is "Thank you MSQ for having great ideas"??? That's not giving me much credit. I'm SO angry at that. --MSQ.


	7. Drama Queen With Puppets

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

Note: Aww... this chapter goes from fluffy, to sad, to funny. Very confusing! And please don't get _too_ angry at Lily... she's just a little confuzzled with all the stuff happening. :)

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Seven ll Drama Queen With Puppets**

----------

"Hell_ooooo_, Lily!" James greeted chirpily at dinner that evening. He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and planted a kiss on the side of her head.

Lily batted him away, "Sod off, Potter."

Spending the rest of the day surrounded by her friends and the usual classes had returned Lily back to normal. As she thought about it, she was terrified to realise she had let Potter hug and kiss her many times that day.

And she was _so_ not a slut.

Amused, Meddy was about to say, "Awww, we just _know_ you love him, Lils," but she thought the better of it and kept her mouth shut.

Lily had not told them about the kiss-on-the-lips James had given her, and she intended on keeping it that way. It had meant nothing, so there was no need to blurt it out to the entire wizarding world.

Sirius was trying to get Penny to go out with him to Hogsmeade, but she persistently told him no. Sirius, however, seemed to like her obvious rejections and continued to ask her why she wouldn't go with him.

"Sirius, I am _not_ going out with you!" she finally yelled in his face. Then she abandoned her dinner and got up.

Sirius caught her arm and brought her back, "But why?" he wailed.

"I just don't want to," Penny tried to shake his hand off, but he quickly let go and grabbed onto her arm again.

"Please?" Sirius begged.

"No! Let go--"

"Not until you say yes!" he said in a singy-songy voice.

"Sirius, I'm warning you..."

Many people in the vicinity were watching, amused.

"Say yes, and I'll let go!" Sirius continued to sing.

Penny glared at him as she tried to rub his arm off, "Let go of me!"

"Please, Penny? Pretty please with a cherry on the top?"

"No--"

"C'mon--"

"Let go--"

"I'll treat you really well--"

"Get _off_ me--"

"Err, Sirius," Remus said lightly, as the two continued to struggle, "You better let go before she--"

_SLAP_.

"--does that," he finished, amused.

Penny breathed a, "Finally!" and walked out of the Great Hall.

Sirius was left sitting there, with Penny's handprint steadily becoming visible on his cheek.

The girls were giggling madly.

A grin slowly unfurled over his handsome face, "Wow! I want her to do that again."

"No doubt she will, Sirius," Emily said, still giggling, "No doubt..."

Lily, smiling over the whole affair, checked her watch and looked back up.

"Come on Potter," she said resignedly, "Detention at six in the dungeons, remember?"

"Detention? At seven? In the dungeons? _With you_?" James squealed, "Yay!"

And he leapt up, linked his arm with Lily's and marched off cheerfully.

The dungeons were empty when they reached there. There was, however, a note.

A gigantic one that couldn't possibly be missed unless you were blind.

_Potter, Evans,_

_Scrub these dungeons clean. No magic._

James snorted, "Do they really believe we'll clean these dungeons without magic?" He flicked his wand, and all the slime and debri that covered the stone floors and walls disappeared.

"They think we're so loyal and trustworthy that we'd actually obey..." James sighed pitifully, "How sad."

Lily gaped around at the sparkling walls, "Well then... I suppose we can just leave now."

"Oh, no, pumpkin," James grinned, "I definitely would not pass up the chance to spend _endless_ amount of time with you. Alone."

Lily rolled her eyes, but decided to say.

What can I say? She finds him fun to be around with.

"See! You want to," James exclaimed, grinning, "Now, let us poke around Anson's office..."

Professor Anson was their Potions teacher. He was a git, to put it bluntly.

"Potter, don't! That's... what if he catches us?" Lily asked fearfully.

"Tell him it was all my fault," James said obviously, pushing open the office door, "Git... doesn't even lock his office... And that I put you under the Imperious curse and made you do such terrible things."

"That's illegal," Lily said, trying not to giggle.

"Hmmm, I suppose," James said with a smile, "Now, what's in this box...? --Oh, Merlin!"

A box had tumbled off one of the shelves and dropped open on the floor. Several puppets spilled out.

"Puppets?" Lily squealed, "Anson has _puppets_?"

James began laughing as he slipped a hand under a dog and made it's mouth move.

"Hello, gorgeous," he said in a low voice, whilst ventriloquisting the dog.

Lily blushed slightly. _Why am I always blushing around Potter?_

"Why, you look especially bea-au-autilful tonight," Mr. Doggie said in a voice that sounded uncannily like James' (wonder why). He moved the dog's mouth to Lily's cheek and made a big, loud, smacking, "MWAH!" noise.

Lily giggled while batting Mr. Doggie away.

"I _must_ tell everyone about this pretty girl," Mr. Doggie continued to say in a singy-songy voice.

James picked up another puppet; this time a frog. Mr. Froggie.

"There's this _gorgeous_ redhead..." Mr. Doggie was telling Mr. Froggie.

Lily giggled again.

"She looks _soo_ beautiful when she smiles," Mr. Doggie continued, "Ever so _bea-au-autilful_."

Mr. Froggie gasped, "Really?!"

James continued to entertain Lily with the puppets for a further ten minutes. When the "play" finished, James had used five puppets. Lily laughed and applauded while James made the puppets bow and curtsey.

"Bravo, Potter," Lily cheered, still giggling.

James turned to Lily, his eyes sparkling as he watched her laugh.

"Wilt thou call thy James?" he asked grandly.

The redhead smiled and shook her head. The two were sitting relatively close to each other.

"Nope, Potter will do."

James sighed and turned back to Mr. Doggie and Mr. Froggie, "She's a bit of a mean girl, isn't she?" he asked them for an opinion.

Mr. Doggie nodded vigorously, "Yes, she is!" he shook his fist at Lily who giggled again, "Meanie!"

"Let's attack her!" Mr. Froggie yelled triumphantly.

"CHARGE!"

James lunged at Lily and she laughed as she fell backward. She opened her eyes and found James hovering above her.

Her heart froze and then pounded, then froze and pounded again. Her stomach felt like it was full of butterflies.

They looked at each other in the eye for a moment, then James slowly leant down to kiss her.

Lily felt like she was going to explode. Part of her wanted him to kiss her, because the times when she felt most loved was when he was close by, hugging her and kissing her. Part of her knew that it wasn't right to let him kiss her freely. They weren't even going out. And a part of her wanted to run away and have a good cry to let out her jumbled up emotions.

Suddenly, she put her hands on James' chest and pushed him away.

"Don't," she said softly.

James bit his lip, then sighed. He sat back up and (mistake!) rumpled up the back of his hair. Lily looked at it with distaste, while she also sat up.

"Why not?" he asked her a little snappishly.

"Because it's not right," Lily got up from underneath him and stood up.

James also stood up. He looked angry, which Lily found sort of scary.

"How would you know what's right or not? Love could standing right in front of you and you're just ignoring it," he practically yelled.

Lily, who had turned around to leave, whirled back to glare at him, "It is _not_ love."

They left the dungeons together. In silence, they walked to the common-room.

When they reached their destination, Lily was about to climb up the stairs to her domitory without so much as a "good night" to James when he stopped entirely and looked at her.

"What?" she mumbled, looking up briefly but not managing to keep eye-contact. His hazel eyes were narrowed with something Lily couldn't quite put her finger on.

"You know," he said quietly, "Even though someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

Then he turned away and walked up the stairs to the boys' dormitories without saying anything else.

Lily stood in the common-room for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Then, blinking tears from her emerald eyes, she slowly turned away and walked up the stairs.

---

"Prongs, what's the matter?" Remus asked as soon as James entered their dormitory. James glanced around and saw him toasting marshmallows with Sirius with a fire that had been conjured up. Peter was sitting with them, eating regular marshmallows as he didn't like toasted ones.

"Lily," he said shortly, "I dunno what's wrong with the girl. She's _such_ a drama queen. I've tried, you know... I've tried and I thought I was really close, but now I'm back to square one. Maybe she's too much of a stubborn witch to get through with."

Sirius dropped the metal tongs he was toasting the marshmallow with, "You're giving up on her?!"

"No!" James almost yelled, rumpling up his hair, "But I'm not trying anymore. I'm going back to usual."

"You mean..." Remus said slowly, poking Sirius because his marshmallow was on fire, "_Ordering_ her to go out with you?"

James sat with his friends and nicked a chocolate-covered snowball, "Yup."

"I'm going to get some real food," Peter announced, standing up, "Anyone wanna come with?"

"Yeah, these are making me sick," Remus said, dropping his burnt marshmallow.

They both left to pay a visit to the kitchens.

"So what happened?" Sirius asked, producing a stream of water from the tip of his wand and putting out the fire.

"I'd rather not talk about it," James muttered, "She exaggerates on everything, that's all I can say. Bloody drama queen."

"Probably PMSing," Sirius said peaceably.

"Mmm... that reminds me. The girls did this _Pass-It-On-Period-Questions_ thing on me yesterday, and I'm supposed to ask someone else the same thing. Might as well ask you."

"Questions?" Sirius said, confused.

"Yup. Padfoot, do you get your period?" James asked.

Sirius instantly burst into fake, hysterical tears, "Oh, J-James, I thought you res-respected my pr-privacy more th-than that!"

James smiled as he tried to remember the questions Lily had asked him, "Do you use Libra or Stayfree?"

"I c-can't say!" Sirius said tragically, still sobbing stormily.

"Do you use tampons?"

Sirius arched an eyebrow but continued with his act, "I already t-told you! I c-can't say!"

"Mini or super?" James laughed.

Sirius rubbed his eyes while sniffing, "Alright, I-I s-suppose I'll t-tell you... I don't use a-anything!"

James burst out laughing, "Oh man, that is _so_ sick."

Sirius dropped his act and smiled, having succeeded in cheering his best buddy up, "Pretty sick, I guess."

They continued to laugh for a few more minutes.

"Oh yeah," Sirius said, after they had stopped, "I forgot to say. I've been doing some thinking--"

James rolled off the bed, going, "Oh Merlin, you _thinking_? Shock of the millennium."

"Shut up, Prongs," Sirius sad mockingly, "Yes, I've been doing some _thinking._"

James emerged, "_Thinking_, you say?"

"Yes, _thinking_."

"_Thinking_?"

"_Thinking_."

"_Thinking_?!"

"_Thinking_!"

"_THINKING_?!"

"_THINKING_!" Sirius roared, grinning.

"Okay, I'll shut up," James said, taking the hint.

"Yes. As I was saying, I've been doing some thinking," (James threw up his hands in mock celebration), "And I've just realised--" ("You _realise_ stuff?" James exclaimed, shocked) "--that we haven't done any pranks."

"Oh Merlin, you're right," James said blankly, "We haven't pulled any pranks at all this year!"

Sirius nodded, "Yes Mr. Prongs, and we, Mr. Moony, Mr. Wormtail and I, Mr. Padfoot, have got one planned. It's a pleasant prank, too. Well, pleasant for most of Hogwarts. But not really for the EVIL Slytherins."

"Stunning introduction," James said somewhat sarcastically, "Now tell me about this pleasant prank."

Sirius explained it to him, and James nodded. But he kept thinking about detention with Lily, the puppet show, how much of a _Drama Queen_ she was, and the look on her face when he unleashed that very spectacular quote that his mother once told him about.

----------

A/N: I am soooo bored. Yes indeed. Muahahhaa. In fact I was so bored I decided to see if I could get to my bedroom from my computer without touching the floor. (I succeeded! I just broke a few of my furniture cos I stepped on it. Muahaha) Anyways, I hope you liked that chapter. I didn't. I don't like much of my chappies anymore. MuahahahahahAHHAHA. Ok, terribly sorry. Thank you! XDDD

_"Even though someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have,"_ belongs to Ruth3, one of my dear reviewers! :) She told me about it, so yay to her. Hehe. --MSQ.


	8. Flippin' Problems

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Eight ll Flippin' Problems**

----------

The Marauders were casually striding towards the Great Hall for breakfast, with James in lead. He was acting extremely pricky and hexed almost everyone that passed him.

"Prongs, what's the matter with--" Sirius started to ask anxiously, when James suddenly stopped walking, causing his three friends to stop abruptly as well.

"Stop," James hissed. He glanced sideways and Sirius saw that he was staring beadily at a sixth-year Hufflepuff that was walking on the other side of the corridor.

"Hey, you!" James hissed.

The Hufflepuff paused and turned around, "Me?"

"Who else?" James said boredly, "What time did you wake up this morning?"

"Err... around seven," the boy answered, looking confused, "Why does it matter?"

" 'Cause of this," James said, pointing his wand and saying, "_Scourgify_!"

The Hufflepuff instantly dropped his books and fell to his knees, clutching at his throat. Bubbles and foam began to froth at his mouth, and he made gagging noises.

"_Potter_!" screamed a familiar voice.

"Thank Merlin," Remus breathed as a furious Lily Evans came striding down the corridor. She ran to the Hufflepuff's side, took out her wand and said, "_Revesia scourgify_!"

He stopped choking on the bubbles and tried to breathe.

Lily bent down, "Are you okay?"

"I -- I feel sick," he gasped, on all fours. Then he threw up. Wincing, Lily murmured a cleaning spell and helped him up.

"C'mon, let's get you to the Hospital Wing. Uhh... Remus, can you take him?"

"Sure," Remus obliged, walking forward, "Um, see you guys later..."

He accompanied the Hufflepuff to the Hospital Wing.

Lily then turned her towering rage to James. She took a few strides forward and grabbed him by the tie, but it just came loose and fell off.

"Oh, trying to undress me now, Evans?" James said seductively, winking at her.

A furious red stained her cheeks as she grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the wall.

_BAM._

Peter and Sirius winced.

Ooh, that had to hurt.

"Potter, what the _hell_ is your flippin' problem?" she snarled, "You've sent _ten_ innocent people to the Hospital Wing, and _don't say you didn't because I just went to see them and they said it was you who hexed them_. I really thought you'd grown out of that stage. What kind of sick eco-maniac _are _you? You enjoy watching other people suffer, is that right? Huh?"

She had been jabbing him in the chest roughly. Her anger and raging showed no signs of how upset she had been the night before.

"Evans," James said coolly, gently taking her hands off him, "As much as I like you touching me, I must say your roughne--"

_SLAP._

Overcome by the fury and confusement that had consumed her, Lily had slapped him hard across the face.

Sirius and Peter winced again.

James just stared at her, completely dumbfounded.

Lily didn't seem to realise what she had done. Now looking immensely satisfied, she took a deep breath and calmed down. Folding her arms across her chest, she said quietly, "You know, Potter, I really thought you had changed this year. Even just a little, it'd be better than nothing. But I was wrong."

Shaking her head, she bent down, picked up his fallen tie and shoved it into his chest.

"Good riddance."

She walked off.

There was silence.

"Oh, she's majorly PMSing," James murmured, looping his tie around his neck.

"Dude, that was wicked," Sirius said in awe, wide-eyed, "But she has a point, Prongs. Why _did_ you start hexing people again? It isn't because she was acting like a... like a _drama queen_ last night, is it?"

"I told you; I've stopped trying to be someone else. I'm just going to be myself from now on," James said stubbornly, "This is who I am. If she can't learn to like that, then too bad"

Instead of Sirius keeping his mouth shut like James expected him to, he shook his head and said, "Prongs, you are sad."

"I agree," Peter piped up.

James stared at them, "_What_?"

"You know flippin' well that you didn't change _for_ Lily this year. You changed in fourth year, when you first started liking her. You changed into this self-centered little jerk, if you don't mind me saying, to impress her," Sirius retorted, "This year and a bit of last, you changed, alright. You changed _back_ to who you used to be, and, if you haven't noticed, Lily has started falling for you. And I'm hungry now, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to breakfast."

He swept off, leaving James to ponder in a pile of deep thoughts.

Peter gave him a meaningful look before hurrying after Sirius.

James stood there, then sighed. Sirius was right. Whenever Sirius spoke so seriously and intelligently, he was right. He _was_ a prick. The person he had become this year _was_ the person he was.

And what Sirius said... Lily was falling for _him_. For the person he was.

_Ahh, I've been a jerk._

---

Lily stormed into the Great Hall, found her spot at the Gryffindor table and practically slammed herself into her seat beside Emily.

"Whoa, what's wrong now?" Emily asked good-naturedly, pouring Lily some orange juice.

"Thanks Em... it's Potter. I dunno what's gotten into him, but I'd give him a good kick in the--"

"Pass the toast, Pen," Meddy said quickly.

"--to get it out of him again," Lily finished. Still scowling, she bit into a muffin and hid behind Emily's latest edition of the _Duibblerdog_.

Penny looked up towards the double doors.

"Oh, no," she whimpered, quickly dropping her half-eaten toast and gathering her stuff, "I have to go now--"

"PENNY!"

A rather enthusiastic Sirius Black came bounding down the hall, looking ready to engulf someone into a big hug.

"Ahh, rats," Penny sighed, looking a bit panicked, "Someone hide me... --OOF!"

Sirius was hugging her tightly.

"Did you miss me?" he asked her.

"Sirius, get _off_ me," Penny exclaimed, batting him away, "And _no_, I will not go out with you, and I have to go now... To get to class early and finish my homework--"

"I'll come!"

"No you won't. Err-- there are muffins here, eat them and pass out... Um, see ya!" Penny raced off.

Sirius stared after her, and Emily swore that his carefully spiked-up hair seemed to wilt.

"Why doesn't she like me?" he asked mournfully, pouting as he stared at Penny's half-eaten toast.

Meddy patted his hand, as Lily was still fuming over the _Duibberdog_, "Oh, she likes you okay enough, Sirius."

"Yeah," Emily chimed in, "She once told me that if you weren't such a player, she was sure she'd have a crush on you."

Sirius' face lit up, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Ooh, yay," and he grabbed the nearest scone and stuffed it into his mouth.

A minute later, James came walking towards them, with Remus closely behind.

"Hey everyone," Remus greeted, sitting down and looking around, "Great, they have scones today."

"With cream too," was what people guessed Sirius said.

James didn't sit down or say anything. He stood near them for a little while, staring at one particular girl. This particular girl had immediately stopped reading the _Duibblerdog_ when she, out of the corner of her eye, saw James approaching.

She now pretended to be completely absorbed in reading the trashy magazine.

A few seconds later, she found herself digging her nails into her palm. Her hands were clenched into fists because she was feeling so tense. Finally, Lily threw the magazine aside and turned to James, "_What_, Potter?"

A smile unfurled across his face, "What? Is it against the law to stare at a pretty gi--"

"Yes," Lily folded her arms firmly and repeated _I will not think of yesterday, I will not think of yesterday. James is not cute nor sweet nor loving_ in her head.

"Well, then," James said carelessly, "I don't suppose I _did_ break the law, as you aren't pretty. You're the most gorgeous girl ever--"

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily said through clenched teeth. Her heart was pounding madly because no boy had ever told her she was gorgeous or even pretty, and no boy had ever held her the way James did, or kissed her the way he did.

_Don't think about it._

"Lily, can I please talk to you in private?"

"As long as you promise not to snog me," Lily said haughtily, returning back to her breakfast. He had called her "Lily", instead of "Evans". He wasn't acting as pratty as before.

There was hope!

"Sorry, no can do."

"Fine. Sod off, then."

"Merlin, lighten up. I was only joking," James said a little irritatedly, his hand jumping towards his hair but he managed to stop it, "You know, taking the mickey?"

"Yes," Lily said with a sigh, watching him slowly move his hand back down to his side.

"So come on..." James beckoned her, and Lily glanced around at her friends. Emily shrugged and Meddy titled her head towards James.

She got up and followed James out of the Great Hall, towards a secluded corner.

"I'm sorry," he said instantly.

Lily was so taken-aback she stumbled and grabbed onto his arm to steady herself.

"Huh? For _what_?"

"For being a jackass," James said with a sheepish smile, "I was a little heated up last night and I felt really bad this morning so I decided to-- hex people. And I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Lily stared at him for a moment.

"Apology accepted," she finally said, to James' devout relief, "But uhh... you know what you said last night...? About... how you might not like the way someone loves you but they still love you with all their heart?"

She bit her lip and James smiled at her obvious discomfort.

"What about it, pumpkin?" he asked slyly, coming closer to her.

"Stay away, I know karate!" Lily said at once, throwing up her arms.

"Heh, you wish," James grinned sloppily, "Come over here, pumpkin."

"Why?"

"I want to hug you."

"Potter..." she wailed.

"Yes?" he said with a smile. He moved behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I don't want you to do this anymore," Lily finally said softly, unable to bring herself to move out of his loving hold.

James snorted and kissed the side of her head, "If you really didn't want me to, then you wouldn't still be here."

Realising he was right, Lily sighed deeply.

"So what about what I said last night?" James asked, holding onto her tighter. He had his little pumpkin in his arms, and that was all that mattered. He just knew it couldn't last, because Lily was to stubborn to admit her feelings for him.

Her hair smelt like peaches, too.

And James liked peaches.

"Did you..." Lily's voice trailed off, "...mean it?"

James said nothing for a little while. He buried his nose in her neck and murmured, "You know I love you, pumpkin."

Lily's heart started to beat madly again. She must've stiffened up because James released her.

Suddenly, she felt something bounce off her head.

"Hey!" Lily bent down and saw a Jelly Slug on the floor. She picked it up and frowned at it.

Some more Jelly Slugs showered down. Among them also came a few Chocolate Frogs.

"It's raining _candy_!" Lily cried gleefully, looking up with her hands held out.

James also looked up and smiled.

"The prank is in order!" he yelled. Then he ran off.

"What prank?" Lily yelled after him, aghast.

James turned around and grinned, blowing a kiss back at her.

----------

A/N: Sorry for the loooong time it took me update. Homework and school itself takes up alot of my time on the computer. I liked this chapter. O Yes, I know a first!!! Lol. Well, I said I'd get more funny parts into the story when school starts again (for me) since funny stuff happens to me. I've got one thing that was funny, but until next week (today is a weekend. YAY!!) I'll have to wait. --MSQ.


	9. Random Filled Day

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Nine ll Random Filled Day**

----------

"What the--?" Meddy stopped eating her scrambled eggs and dropped her knife and fork, looking up as more and more colourful candy showered down. Many students were squealing and screaming with delight. They began to dance and sing cheerfully.

"Hehehe, oh this is ruddily brilliant," Sirius cackled like a mad scientist, "WHOOT! THE PRANK IS _ON_!"

And he leapt up and began to holler and scream like the other students. Dumbledore made no action to stop the children from going crazy. In fact, he was, at the moment, absorbed in catching particular Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans before eating them.

"Yay! My wish has come true!" Emily squealed, squinting as some gummi worms dropped on her.

James came streaming in, dodging the wild students and occasionally lifting his head up to catch a lolly or two. When he reached his three best friends, they high-fived each other.

A gasping Lily and Penny ran back in.

"What's happening?" Penny squealed to Meddy and Emily before a waltzing Sirius swept her away.

"AHHH! GET OFF ME, SIRIUS!"

They looked after her as Sirius tried to get her to dance with him amongst the candy and cheering kids.

"Err, should we help her?" Meddy asked uncertainly.

"Nah. She has to realise that she loves him to death one day," Emily said with a grin, "Just like Lils has to realise that she loves J--"

"CANDY!" Lily suddenly screamed happily, running away from her friends. She ran into Remus who grinned at her.

"Hey Miss Head Girl, going to give us detention?" he teased. James was standing right behind him, listening and smiling.

Lily looked at both of their cheeky faces and also smiled. She came in between them and wrapped an arm around both of them, "Nope, just be glad I like sugar. And gee, why do you guys have to be so damn _tall_?"

Laughing, James suddenly grabbed her by the waist, pinned her on the ground and began tickling her.

---

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS.

"This isn't dignified in a teacher," Lily was ranting to a very uninterested Emily, "He's ten minutes late!"

"Lils, why do you even care? You're the one who skived History of Magic," Emily pointed out.

Lily looked around anxiously, "SHHH!"

"Everyone, please settle down," came an unfamiliar voice that belonged to an unfamiliar man who had just walked into the unfamiliar classroom.

The students immediately settled down. They had no idea who this man was, and therefore, had no knowledge of how strict he was.

"Man, now who is he?" Sirius murmured to James out of the corner of his mouth.

"Beats me."

"My apologies for any confusion," the man said, walking to the front of the classroom, "Your usual professor has been called off to some personal business or rather, and I have been asked to fill in. I do not know much about defending yourselves in the dark arts, so wands away please."

There was a general groan that travelled throughout the classroom; an unpractical DADA lesson was always boring.

The man gave a wry smile, "I will be teaching you things that Muggle children would be learning. Some of you may have heard of it before. Health; meaning how the body functions and ways to maintain a healthy lifestyle."

Many Muggle-borns squirmed and moaned. Health was _not_ a good subject.

"Settle down, settle down... Now, how many of you have heard of a test tube baby?"

Lily gave an almost silent groan as some students raised their hands.

A girl was picked to explain to the rest of the class what it was, which set off Sirius and James. They both found this subject _fascinating_ and very interesting indeed.

Sirius put his hand up when the girl finished explaining.

"Yes?"

"Sir, does that mean men can get pregnant?" Sirius asked innocently, and the class snorted and laughed.

The teacher raised his eyebrows, "No."

He then moved over to one of the boys in the front row and began to talk to him, so the rest of the class began to chatter amongst themselves.

"Sirius," Meddy said, trying to keep a straight face, "If a guy had a baby, then it'd look _abnormal_."

James began to laugh hysterically.

"I thought he said he was pregnant," he explained afterwards, referring to the teacher who he had been watching talk to the boys, "I mean, he was patting his tummy and all..." He imitated the teacher patting his stomach.

"Well, men can get pregnant," Sirius said in that sickeningly innocent voice, "Hey! Imagine guys having the... the _women's thing_."

"Ew!" shrieked Lily and Meddy at the same time.

"You sick moron," Penny and Emily said at the same time, pulling identical disgusted faces.

Remus and James snorted at Sirius' perverted mind.

Sirius grinned like a fool.

"Sirius," Penny said with a sigh, "They wouldn't be called _men_ then."

James began to sing cheerfully, "Walk like a man, talk like a man!" and wouldn't stop until Lily hit him.

Sirius ploughed on with his disturbing speech, "Hey dudes! Imagine men having the _women's thing_, and women having the _men's thing_!" he cried gleefully.

"Could you please use a different term than _women's thing_?" Lily asked, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"Yeah, it sounds so gross," Emily agreed.

"Fine, would you rather me call it the va--"

"_Okay_, never mind!" Remus cut in loudly.

"I just thought of something..." James said in wonder, "What if people had both!"

The girls glanced at each other warily and shared the same message.

_Boys._

"Yeah, they just shag themselves and get themselves pregnant," Remus said sarcastically, rubbing his temples.

"Can you _puh-lease_ move onto a different subject?" Meddy pleaded loudly.

"Sure!" James exclaimed brightly, "But just one last question; what's the point of shagging yourself? You're just taking out all the pleasure of shagging a _beautiful_ g--"

He was interrupted when a book came flying at his head, coming from Lily's direction.

---

LUNCH.

"I believe I can _fl-l-ly_, I believe I can touch the _sk-k-ky_," sang James, between huge bites of his turkey and ham sandwich.

"I think about it every night and _da-a-ay_, spread my wings and fly _awa-a-ay_," Sirius joined in almost indecently.

"I believe I can _so-a-ar_. You see me running through that open _do-o-or_," they sang in unison, both looking dreadfully solemn.

"Shut up, man," moaned Lily, covering her ears.

"No, keep singing!" Emily cried gleefully.

Penny looked horrified, "Absolutely not, I should think!"

They began to argue whether or not they wanted James and Sirius to continue singing the hit song "I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly.

"_No, _let them sing!"

"_No_, let them not sing!"

"Sing!"

"No!"

"Sing!"

"No!"

"Eat!"

"Drink!"

"Eat!"

"Drink!"

"HIIIIIIII LILY!" shrieked a very chirpy voice.

Lily blinked a little while drinking her pumpkin juice, telling herself to be calm; she was not under attack; and she will not die. Rewind and repeated. Rewind and repeat. Repeat... repeat... and...

"Hey Amos," she finally greeted the tall, handsome Hufflepuff.

Beaming, Amos Diggory looked down heartily at Lily's companions.

"Why hello," he said jubiantly, "Nice day?"

Before any of them could reply, and before Emily could break down into tears and scream, "MY PUPPY DIED!" (which she did every time a stranger asked her if she had a good day), Amos continued happily to Lily, "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

DUN, DUN, DUN.

The silence was loud.

However, 'twas broken when James dropped his fork onto his plate with a CLATTER.

"What the--?" Sirius gasped, gaping at Amos.

"Holy," Remus said blankly.

"You're _joking_!" exclaimed Emily and Penny.

Meddy said nothing, but her hand had quickly dropped under the table and was now squeezing Lily's hand; perhaps using some sort of language. Well, whatever she was trying to say, it was obvious.

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO_NOOOOO_!!!

Maybe Lily didn't understand Meddy's newfound language, or maybe she misinterpreted it.

"Of course," the daft redhead replied sincerely with a warm smile, "I look forward to it."

Amos looked taken-aback, and almost as excited as a little puppy with it's tail wagging and it's tongue lolling.

Hehe, amusing image.

"What? _Really_? Are you sure? Wow! _Wow_! Okay then -- err, I look forward to it too. Um, see ya later!" Amos said excitedly, before wandering off to his own House table, going, "Wow-- _wow_, she _agreed_... whoa, man..."

"LILY HOW DARE YOU!" shrieked Penny, though she was only putting on an act.

"I'm fearfully ashamed of you," Emily said, exaggerating her accent.

Lily smiled, "Shut up, you two."

But when she glanced across the table where James was sitting, she paused to reflect on WHATTHEHELLJUSTHAPPENED. His cute, little, hazel eyes were full of something glimmery and glazey. In fact, it looked like he was about to shed a tear or two.

GASP.

James Potter was _hurt_.

Hurt?

Her heart pounding considerably faster, Lily pondered of what to think and do and eat. She grabbed a breadroll and chewed on it thoughtfully, watching James a little closer. He was looking down at his sandwich sadly and moodily.

Lily bit her lip and wondered why she felt so... so _guilty._

To everyone's surprise, James spoke up quietly.

"I... uhh, I need to go... to the dorm. Yeah-- I, err, left my Transfiguration book... there. Um, yeah. I'll be back," he said shiftily, getting up automatically and dropping his fork again.

As soon as he had left, Sirius sighed deeply.

"Dude, he shouldn't have said that. This is _bad._"

"Why?" questioned Emily.

"Because we don't even have Transfiguration today."

---

They had their last class off because of some weird reason or other, so they decided to relax outside, chat and maybe do some homework.

Meddy, Lily, Emily, James and Remus were resting underneath a large willow tree nearby the lake which was inhabited by the giant squid. James had returned to his somewhat normal self, and was bickering with Lily as per usual. Though one might say he did it less heartily and Lily did it _too_ heartily.

"Hey people," Sirius came up to them, his books tucked underneath one arm.

"Hey. Come sit here."

They shifted around to make room for him.

"Where's Penny?" Sirius asked casually, opening up his textbook and taking out his quill.

"She's coming soon," Lily said dismissively, her eyes never leaving her parchment, "Oh _damn_..." she crossed something out, sighed, stopped writing and began to look through her bag for some Self-Correcting Ink.

Emily was squinting far off (any excuse to distract herself from her foot-long essay), "Yeah... She's here!"

"Really?" Meddy looked up and off into the direction where Emily was looking, "Where?"

"Hehehe, tricked you! She's not really here," Emily giggled. She was an easily amused girl.

"Em," Meddy sighed, looking back down at her work, "When will you learn?"

"Don't think anyone wants to know that."

Silence...

"Dudes, Penny's here."

"Oh, goody," Sirius said cheerfully, looking far off, "Where?"

Emily began laughing again.

"Merlin, Em," Lily said with a grin as she screwed the top of her ink bottle back on, "Do you get some weird pleaure in telling us when our friend is here or not?"

"I suppose so."

Remus and James laughed, but Sirius just looked disappointed.

"She's here!"

Everyone but Remus looked up.

Silence...

"Emily!" whined Meddy as Sirius playfully punched her arm, "Why must you keep lying?"

"Because it's fun," Emily replied smirkingly, rubbing the spot where Sirius had punched her, "SHE'S HEEERE!"

Lily grinned and said sideways to Meddy, "My higher intelligence tells me she's fibbing."

Emily pulled a face, "Well, I got you guys three times, at least."

Silence again...

"She's here," Emily said seriously.

"No, she's not. Stop lying."

"She's here!"

"Lily, you have stooped down to Emily's level. I'm ashamed," James said with a snigger.

"Damn. Well, you guys will obviously never believe me again, will you?" Lily asked, pretending to sniff.

"Of course not, pumpkin."

"Hey, she's here."

"_No she's not_!"

"Yeah she is!"

"If she was here then I'd be able to see her," Sirius said haughtily. Emily crossed her arms and pouted.

Silence...

"Hey, she's here," Meddy said suddenly.

The boys groaned.

"Not you too, Meddy!"

"No, she is, really!"

"AHHH, PENNY!" screamed Emily and Lily at the same time, startled to see their best friend whom they had been "talking" about for the past ten minutes.

"Um... hey! Nice to see you too," Penny said with a startled smile, coming up to join them with her book bag dangling from one shoulder.

"Oh _Merlin_, she _is_ here!" Sirius squealed like a girl.

"Uh oh..." Penny whispered, her smile fading as a manical grin spread across Sirius' face.

"PENNY, WHERE'VE YOU BEEN? I'VE MISSED YOU! AWWW!"

"AHHH! SIRIUS GEROFF ME, YOU GREAT, BIG BUFFOON!"

----------

A/N: Lol, well I hope you liked that! Haha. The pregnant thing was what happened between a (private) conversation between me and my friend. Lol. It was so funny. And the "She's here!" thing was what I kept doing on first day back at school. Our friend was late and I'd be going "Alice is here!" and my friends would all go "Where?!" and I'd start laughing. Finally, she did come and I got a heart attack; I wasn't expecting it. Lol. And everyone was screaming "AHH YOU _ARE_ HERE!". Thank you sooo much for reviewing! Hehe. I BROKE 1000 REVIEWS ON MY OTHER STORY! YAY! XDDD --MSQ.


	10. The Lakey Adventure!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Ten ll The Lakey Adventure!**

----------

While her crazy group of "friends" talked, laughed and pegged rolled up bits of parchment at each other, Lily looked around affectionately. A small smile played across her lips as a scene in fifth-year flashed through her mind.

---

_"How d'you think you guys went?" Emily asked as they settled on the grass near the lake._

_"Good," Meddy said confidently, "The questions weren't as hard as I thought they would be."_

_Lily nodded in agreement. _

_Penny, however, was looking far off, "What in the name of Merlin...?"_

_"What is it, Pen?" Lily asked, following Penny's gaze. There seemed to be a crowd gathering on the other side of the lake._

_"Not the MARAUDERS!" Lily immediately groaned. Looking completely frustrated, Meddy watched as the redhead dumped her bag down and marched over to the crowd, which parted as they saw her approaching._

_She placed her hands on her hips and glared at James, who was now causing pink soap bubbles to froth in Snape's mouth._

_"Leave him ALONE!" Lily yelled, fury rising up in her._

_James turned to her, his free hand immediately jumping to his hair._

_"All right, Evans?" James said in a much more mature tone._

_"Leave him alone, what's he ever done to you?" Lily asked fiercely, looking at him with great distaste._

_"Well, it's more of the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..." _

_Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Peter included. Remus continued to read his book, and Lily crossed her arms and glared at James even more._

_"You think you're so funny," she said coldly, "But you're just an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!"_

_"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said quickly. "Go on... Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."_

_The Impediment charm on Snape was wearing off; he was crawling over to his fallen wand, spitting out the last of the soap suds._

_"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" Lily exclaimed hotly._

_"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said briskly, before turning to Snape, "OI!"_

_Snape hurled a hex at James; a flash of light appeared and a gash appeared on the side of James' face, splattering his robes with blood. James whirled around; a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greyng underpants._

_The crowd cheered, and the Marauders excluding Remus were roaring with laughter. Lily's furious expression had twitched for a second, but it was immediately replaced with her look of fury and anger, "Let him down!"_

_"Certainly," obliged James, and he jerked his wand upward. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius yelled, "Petrificus totalus!" and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board._

_"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had whipped out her own wand, which James and Sirius eyed warily_

_"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said earnestly._

_"Take the curse off him, then!"_

_James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse._

_"There you go," he said as Snape struggled to his feet again, "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus--"_

_"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Snape retorted, getting up and shooting a look of venom at Lily._

_The redhead blinked, taken-aback. Then she regained her confidence. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."_

_"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him._

_"I don't want you to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're just as bad as he is!"_

_"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a -- you-know-what!"_

_"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just gotten off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can -- I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it! You make me SICK." With that, Lily turned and stalked back to her friends, anger still bubbling in her._

_"Evans!" James shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!"_

_But she ignored him and swept back to her group of friends, who broke into applause and cheering when she returned._

---

Lily could hear her own voice echoing in her head.

_"But you're just an arrogant bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!"_

_"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!"_

_"You're just as bad as he is!"_

Then suddenly, more recent things she had said to James began to come back to her, like a choppy movie trailer. They echoed through her mind and pounded her veins.

_"Get that badge off and give it to it's rightful owner."_

_"You are one of the worst people I have ever met in my entire life. You are always inconsiderate of others and you hex people when they look sideways at you!"_

_"POTTER!¡±_

_"That was not a date, Potter! It most certainly was not!"_

_"It is not love."_

_"You know, Potter, I really thought you had changed this year. Even just a little, it'd be better than nothing. But I was wrong."_

With a jolt, Lily stopped the rush of "quotes" that were flashing through her mind. Biting her lip, she glanced around at James who was chuckingly softly as he talked to Sirius.

James caught her looking and he smiled and winked at her. Lily slowly rolled her eyes and returned back to her homework.

"Hey, _pumpkin_," James sang out, shifting from Sirius and scooting towards Lily. He put an arm around her and said cheerfully, "It's a fine evening, isn't it?" He grinned at her.

Lily didn't shove his arm off her, as expected, "It sure is a clear sky," she agreed, looking up. In her mind she had made up to just play along.

"So, wanna dance?" James asked out of the clear blue.

"No, not really," she replied coolly. With that, she shrugged his arm off.

James pouted, "C'mon. It'll be heaps fun."

"Yeah!" Sirius chimed in, "Let's all dance in a line."

Everyone Looked at him.

"Okay, let's not then."

James turned back to Lily, "_Ple-e-ease_, pumpkin. I beg of you!" He grabbed a handful of her robe and tugged at it, "_Ple-e-e-ease_."

"Potter, let go of my robe!"

"...No."

Lily glared at him, before turning helplessly to her friends. Emily flashed a grin, showing all her teeth. Meddy tilted her head towards James like she had done on the previous occasion. Penny just smiled mysteriously and shrugged.

Great, she had received one "hehe-I'm-not-good-for-advice", one "just-dance-with-him" and one "it's-your-choice".

_But I have a date this weekend... it's not like I'm really single anymore..._

Lily pushed the thought away, turned back to James and snapped, "Fine. Fine! But one dance only and it's gotta be short!"

James leapt to his feet, perfectly satisfied, "Why, of course pumpkin."

Lily clenched her teeth and also got up.

He held her gently by the waist that reminded her of their little dance at the Three Broomsticks, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He leant closer as they swayed in time with the music Sirius was belting out loudly.

"Can't say you don't like this, can you?" James whispered into her ear. To be honest, he was a little scared. He was scared he might lose Lily to that idiot, Diggory. He wanted to hold onto her.

The corners of Lily's mouth tugged and she felt a small smile on her face. Then she shook her head and rolled her eyes, to James' utter disappointment.

But he knew she loved him anyway.

Smiling, James gripped onto her waist tighter, making her giggle. His smile grew even broader.

"You're really... beautiful," he breathed, not even caring that Sirius had stopped _yodelling_ and was now rolling around on the floor, laughing at their dance.

Lily sighed, "No I'm not."

"Yes you are," James said firmly, ignoring the girls who were giggling, "You're very... pretty and unique."

Lily found it hard to fight back her smile, and he looked down at her and pulled her closer.

_Man... this feels so nice... I wonder what it's like to belong to James...?_

This thought made her pull back abruptly, and she murmured something about the dance being too long already. Disappointed, James joined her back in sitting with their friends.

"That was _so_ cute," Emily whispered to Lily, who rolled her eyes yet again.

"I have an idea," Sirius piped up.

"And it is...?" Remus asked.

"Let's play WAR!"

"Huh?"

"WAR! It's so much fun! We split into two teams and we have a sort of war... I think," Sirius said slowly, squinting in concentration.

"No, your games are too strange," Emily pointed out.

"Emily, this means WAR."

They laughed inspite of Sirius.

"No wait, I have a better idea," he said suddenly, looking like he had brilliant, world-changing idea that could strike up a "EUREKA!"

"What is it?"

"WAR!"

"That _was_ your idea," Penny said, giggling.

"Was not," Sirius said stubbornly.

"Was too."

"I don't care. I have an even BETTER idea! Let's play w--!"

"If you say WAR again, I will strangle you," Remus said firmly.

"No, let's have a TICKLING WAR!"

"Sounds good," James said with a shrug. Then he leapt onto Lily and began to tickle her.

"Potter -- stop -- hehe -- _NO_!"

Sirius was now staring at Penny as if she were a merely interesting television programme.

"Sirius, what?" she asked irritably, then her blue eyes grew large, "Oh _no_. Oh, man. Oh, sh--"

She leapt up and began to run away.

"Hey, PENNEEEEE!" Sirius shouted gleefully after her, jumping to his feet.

"Potter-- hehe, _please_-- no, stop!" Lily giggled, trying to bat his hands away. James smiled mischievously and just tickled her harder, until they kicked and bucked and wrestled to the very edge of the lake.

"You two lovebirds better watch out," Meddy called, and Lily could _hear_ the smile in her tone, "Otherwise you'll fall in."

James finally stopped and grinned at her as he slowly straightened up. Lily, breathing heavily and trying to glare at him, grabbed his hand and hauled herself up.

"Potter, that wasn't very nice," she said sharply in between breaths.

"It wasn't?" James asked innocently.

"Nope!" and with that, the redhead suddenly reached out and pushed him into the lake. But before he could fall all the way, he cursed and instinctively threw his arms out to pull Lily.

They both fell in.

_SPLASH!_

James grinned as he fought his way back to the surface. He broke the water with a gasp and felt his heart freeze when he heard faint screams. Looking around panickedly, he realised he had already floated to the middle of the lake.

"Lily!" he yelled, his teeth chattering. The water was cold.

"Lily!" he yelled again, starting to feel worried. He hadn't seen her break the surface yet. In fact, he couldn't see her at all.

"LILY!" this time, it was Meddy and Emily screaming. Their voices sounded oh-so-far away and distant.

"She can't swim, James!" Penny shrieked. James turned around while brushing his arms across the top of the water, and saw that she was standing at the edge of the lake with Sirius.

"She's there!" Sirius hollered, pointing, "I can see her hair!"

James immediately dove into the coldness and swam to his left.

To his relief, he saw red hair. He began to dogglepaddle at an incredibly fast rate. He watched as Lily broke the surface, gasping for air, before disappearing again.

James plunged in and grabbed onto her body. Feeling as if his chest was going to burst, he swam towards the surface again.

Sweet merciful air.

Sirius had taken off his robes and plunged into the lake. He waded over to where James and Lily were. He took Lily's body and swam back to the grass, and James dogpaddled after him.

"Lily!" Meddy gave a cry of anguish as Sirius laid the redhead onto the grass.

Penny quickly took off her robe and covered her friend with it, "Lil? Lily?"

"You okay?" Remus asked James, who was panting and shuddering. He followed Penny and gave his friend his robe. James nodded; he seemed more concerned about Lily, who was sitting up and spluttering. There were tears in her eyes.

"I'll get Madam Meynon," the twins said in unison, and, not bothering to even glance at each other for their perfect timing, sprinted off towards the castle to fetch their trusty school nurse.

Lily had started crying; it was too much to handle.

Meddy hugged her tightly while Sirius and Remus watched, breathless.

James crawled over to Lily and wrapped an arm around her. She stopped sobbing for a moment and looked up as Meddy gently released her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, wrapping his other arm around her and hugging her closely. Lily didn't pull away, but buried her face in her shoulder and continued to cry.

----------

A/N: Wow, a humanly chapter for you all! Lol. Sorry it took so long to update, I've just been busy with homework, other stories, and my friends who keep me busy. My friend and I are pretending to be each other on MSN and are tricking people we know. Haha. It's so funny. Lol. I almost fell out of my chair laughing XD. Hehe. --MSQ.


	11. Process Of Ignoration

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Eleven ll Process Of Ignoration**

----------

Darkness.

Blurry greyness.

Stone ceilingness.

When James managed to open his bleary eyes, he stared at the stone ceiling above him for a few seconds. He knew he was in the Hospital Wing, and he knew what had happened, but all the same, it felt like it had been one big nightmare.

_Lily sobbing on his shoulder... Madam Meynon along with an anxious Professor McGonagall coming with the twins... brought to the wing... given a potion to drink... were put to sleep..._

Yeah, that was pretty much all James remembered.

The wing was lit fairly brightly with flaming torches that flickered and created eerie shadows across the walls. Feeling quite energetic, James sat up on his bed and saw, resting in the bed next to his', Lily.

A smile played across his lips as he slowly got out of his bed and crept to her side. The blankets were all the way down to her stomach.

Lily felt the covers being pulled over her shoulders tightly. She sucked in her breath and tried to steady her breathing. She felt her eyelids twitch as James bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you, Lily," he murmured with a small smigh, "Why did Amos have to get you first...?"

Lily felt tears creeping behind her tightly shut eyelids as she listened to James creep back into bed. There was the rustle of blankets, the sliding of the bedspread, then silence.

_I'm sorry, James._

---

TWO DAYS LATER.

TRANSFIGURATION -- A LESSON ON ANIMAGI.

Lily stared hard at the back of James' head, still trying to work the confusing boy out. Yes, he was a sweetheart sometimes, and an insufferable git at other times. She couldn't understand why he would pull the covers over her as her mother would do, and why he would say such a thing.

She was sure he hadn't been joking.

It was a very low joke if it was.

"Mr. Potter, please tell us whether it is correct wandwork or a complex potion that enables wizards to become Animagi."

James made a big show of standing up, posing, rubbing his chin thoughtfully and pulling strained facial expressions as he thought about the answer. Then suddenly, he broke into a long debate with himself as he tried to work out if it was a) correct wandwork or, b) complex potion.

As he did this and the majority of the class looked at him in glee, as they were amused, Lily rolled her eyes and was reminded by the _much_ more pricky Potter. Then she got an idea and snaked out her leg from under the desk. She curled it around a leg of James' abandoned chair and dragged it back.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter, that is quite enough," Professor McGonagall broke into James' dull rambling, wondering why on earth she had not interrupted long before.

James smiled, bowed and sat back down.

Whee.

"AHHH!"

His arms flailed backwards and he fell back on his arse with a crash. The class engulfed into giggles.

Professor McGonagall hid her smile as James smiled pleasantly, got to his feet, bowed and reached back for his chair before sitting down. Then he looked intently at the teacher as if nothing had happened.

When Professor McGonagall resumed her lesson, James tore off a bit of parchment and scribbled on it.

**_That wasn't very nice, pumpkin._**

He slid it over to Lily when the teacher wasn't looking. Lily read it with a bemused smile on her face.

_Who said it was supposed to be nice? That should cure your big head._

**_What? Having your chair pulled out from underneath you is supposed to cure the disease of arrogance?_**

_Yeah, it should. Potter, stop passing me notes. It got us into trouble last time._

**_Fine._**

And it ended at that.

---

Doing your homework in the always crowded common-room was usually very dull. And today, it was no exception.

Feeling drowsy and deliriously happy, James read a passage in his History of Magic textbook. He stared at the exquisite drawing beneath the text and blinked at it. For some reason, the giants in the picture suddenly looked like snowmen.

"Did you know that the Head Boy hits on the Head Girl?"

James came out of his daydream with a jolt. First-year talk was usually odd and pointless, but he found something interesting in what they were saying.

Because they were talking about HIM.

"What? I choke on Lily?" James yelped, his eyes widening. He, evidently, could not hear very well.

The two first-years jumped and then turned to face him. One looked slightly abashed and embarrased, but the other just said confidently, "No, I said you hit on her."

That confused James even more, "I _eat_ her?"

The first-year just stared at him before turning to his flushing friend and whispering, "The Head Boy's got hearing problems..."

"What was that? I've got _earring_ problems, you say?" James repeated, rather amazed, "Sorry midget, but I don't have earrings."

The first-year suddenly changed topics, "Do you even have your ears pierced?"

"Do my ears get pissed?" James repeated slowly. He was quite sure he didn't talk like _that_ when he was at the tender age of eleven.

The firstie rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Yep, I bet they drink alcohol_ all_ the time."

Before James could get all defensive and say, "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" (which usually led to a duel), Sirius entered the common-room and yelled, "OI! Prongs!"

James turned to look at him, feeling slightly flustered, as Sirius walked over to them.

"Hey, midgets," Sirius greeted the two first-years who were standing right in front of James as though they were worshipping him (which James thought they ought to do.)

"Why does everyone call us midgets?" the boy's friend finally spoke up indignantly, flushing a terrible pink as Sirius and James turned to look at him, "Honestly, we're not _that_ small."

The two seventh-years glanced at each other.

The poor little midgets.

"Listen up, kid," James said slowly, "When we were ickle firsties like you, we were called midgets too."

"Really?" both boys said incredulously, looking up at the towering figures of James and Sirius.

"Indeed," Sirius nodded, "But as the years progressed, we grew... and grew... and grew and grew and grew and grew. And then we grew some more. Then, fancy this, we grew again!"

"What are you lot on about?" came an aggressive voice behind them.

"It's the Head Girl," the first-year whispered, nudging his friend.

"How come she's not as big as the Head Boy...?"

Looking exasperated, Lily glared at James and Sirius who were doubling over in silent fits of laughter.

"Cut it out, you two!" she ordered.

"Yes ma'am," Sirius saluted.

Lily turned to the first-years and said in a gentle voice, "Shouldn't you two be playing Gobstones or egging your _pawns_ on in Wizard's Chess?"

They looked insulted.

"We do our homework, too!"

"Homework, yeah," James snorted, "Just wait 'till you're in fifth- and seventh-year. You shall be DEAD."

Looking rather frightened, the two boys scampered off.

Lily turned back to James and Sirius, "Do you know where Shailey Roberts is?"

"_Who_?" James said, completely dumbfounded.

"The sixth-year prefect!"

"Oh. Nope."

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family," Sirius burst out happily, wrapping an arm around James and Lily and bringing them together.

"We aren't related and we never shall be," Lily said in devout relief.

"You and James will be one day!"

Lily's eyes widened and she flew out of Sirius' arm, "Oh, Merlin, Sirius! That's just... _wrong_! We _will not_ get married! The end!"

And she turned on her heel and stalked off, all mixed up with her feelings.

"Hey! I never said you were going to marry him! Maybe your mum could adopt him or something!" Sirius yelled after her.

James looked thoughtful, "That's just sick. I am _not_ being her foster brother or whatever."

"Never said you were," Sirius said with a chuckle, "It was just a suggestion."

---

"Sirius is a sick-minded--" Lily began her rant furiously as soon as she had found her friends in the Great Hall, doing their homework.

It wasn't usually very often they did their homework in the Great Hall, but once in awhile they'd forget what happened the very _first_ time they had tried this action, and found themselves poring over their essays and books in the place where they were supposed to eat.

The Marauders were never invited to join the girls in this task. It was just Lily, Penny, Emily and Meddy, and _no boys._

"Hold up for a sec," Emily said, looking shocked, "_Sirius_? Well, what ever happened to _Potter_?"

"It amazes me that Sirius _finally_ gets to be included in your everyday rant," Meddy chimed in, scratching her nose with the tip of her quill.

"You two, give her a break," Penny said with a smile, before turning back to Lily, "So what did he do?"

"He said that James and I would be a family one day!" Lily said angrily, looking around expectantly as she waited for her friends to clamp their hands over their mouths and gasp, "No way!"

But they did nothing of that sort.

"So? He could mean that your parents adopt him or something," Penny responded nochalantly.

"You know, that's exactly what he said," Lily replied, arching her eyebrow.

Determined not to be lumped together with _Sirius Black_, Penny shook her head as if the whole thing was pointless and returned back to her work.

"Anyway, what are the odds of my parents adopting _Potter_? About fifty-hundred to zero."

Emily just shrugged, "You've already got two sisters, anyway..."

Lily instinctively shuddered and smiled. Shudder belonged to the memory of _Petunia_. Smile belonged to the memory of her small, five-year-old sister, Cosima Evans.

"I miss Cosima."

"She's such an adorable little girl," Meddy chimed in with a dreamy smile, "I wish Sara was that cute."

Emily suddenly began making frantic movements. Her eyes went all poppy and she made her eyebrows point to the direction behind them.

"What?" Lily frowned.

Emily mouthed something whilst her eyes began to dart everywhere.

"Em, there's the slight problem that _I can't lipread_!"

"I think she's trying to say the Marauders are coming," Penny finally confirmed, looking up.

"That's bad," Meddy said immediately.

"Yeah, really bad."

"Incredibly bad."

"Very incredibly bad."

"Okay, I think we've got the picture," Emily said, rolling her blue eyes.

"Why didn't you just _say_ the Marauders were coming?" Lily asked her.

Emily shrugged, "I suppose I was testing my sign language skills."

"Skills?" Penny snorted into her glass of water that she insisted on having wherever she was.

"Oh, shut up."

"I am smart," Meddy declared.

Penny choked on her water this time and almost sprayed it all over her very important essay. Emily broke into her little girl giggles and fell off her chair. Lily snorted and started laughing endlessly.

"Hey!" Meddy exclaimed.

"Good evening," Sirius said briskly as the boys approached them.

Three _specific_ girls acknowledged their prescence and slowly packed up their stuff, but Lily simply ignored him. Sirius realised this at once.

"Good evening, Lily."

"Could you pass me my ink bottle, Em?" Lily asked cordially, without even glancing at Sirius.

James smirked as he sat down beside Meddy with Peter and Remus. Sirius looked as if he were about to wet his pants from the anxiety and shamefulness he was suffering from.

"Sure," Emily said, trying not to giggle.

"Thanks."

"Lily! Hell_ooo_?" wailed Sirius.

Remus and Peter snickered into their hands.

"LILY!" Sirius was now on his knees begging, "Please don't ignore me! I promise to not ever pull a prank on you again! I swear!"

"_As_ if!" Lily exclaimed curtly, finally showing signs of life.

"I know, but please Lily! Don't ignore meeee!" Sirius begged.

"You can't ignore the dog," James said contritely, smiling mysteriously at Lily.

The redhead rolled her eyes, then paused to think. She twirled a strand of red hair decisively.

"Don't do that," Penny said automatically.

"Yeah," Emily chimed in.

"It makes you look like you're a blonde trying to flirt," Meddy added.

"And failing miserably," Remus piped up.

Lily _looked_ at them before putting her hand down, "Fine."

"Really?" Sirius squealed, under the impression that she was saying "fine" to not ignoring him anymore.

"No-- yes. No... _fine_! I won't twirl my hair _or_ ignore Sirius."

"WHOO HOO!" Sirius punched the air, "Now I know how you feel, Prongs."

James chuckled, "Oh, it's painful, isn't it?"

"Damn straight."

----------

A/N: Hi... I had major writer's block for this chapter. Really. I tried to think up of stuff to add to this chapter... and it took me ages to write. Thank you everyone for your reviews! A lot of people have asked if Lily and James are going to be a couple now. And the answer is... no. Hahaha. XD Christmas has NOT passed for them... I plan to do something for their Christmas. Something concerning Cosima, of course! Lol, my friend comes from Belgium too. She's way cool, and once she brought back chocolate from there. (happiness) Lol, I so want to go to Belgium! Yes, I know that song. Everyone has been asking me... I sang it heaps with my friend -- Julia. Lol. I sing assorted songs. Fun fun. Thank you everyone! --MSQ.


	12. Echidna Mania

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Twelve ll Echidna Mania**

----------

"When we were cooking Alice forgot the herbs," Lily read off a piece of paper.

She frowned.

"Why in Merlin's name were you cooking my dear cousin?" Penny asked, looking astounded. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed in her cloud pyjamas, while Emily kneeled behind her, brushing her twin's brown hair.

"Oh, our poor little Alice," Emily said, pretending to sob.

"Oh, quiet you two," Lily scolded, moving over to her bed and picking up her pawprint dressing gown, "Mum's sent me a letter and she showed me some of the work Cosima is doing."

"Are you telling me Cosima is cooking people and forgetting to add herbs?" Meddy demanded from the vanity as she rubbed moisturiser into her cheeks.

"No," Lily said with a sigh, tying the band around her waist, "She's supposed to be adding commas. So basically, it's: when we were cooking, _comma_, Alice forgot the herbs."

The redhead folded up the letter and put it back neatly in the envelope.

"Right," Emily said slowly, switching places with Penny so that now Emily was the one getting her hair brushed.

Lily yawned as she fell back on her bed, "I'm _sooo_ tired."

"So am I," Meddy said matter-of-factly, sitting near Lily's head.

"OW!" Emily yelped as Penny combed through a nasty knot.

"Oops. Sorry."

"Hey, Em," Meddy said suddenly, "What happened to your flying pig pyjamas?"

Emily pulled a face, "Glad to see _someone's_ noticed! They disappeared without a trace."

Lily looked up and, for the first time, noted that Emily was not adorned in the six-year-old flying pig pyjamas that she had worn since their first night at Hogwarts. Every year, however, she would make Lily magic them a little bigger so they would still fit her.

Emily loved those pyjamas.

Now she was wearing apple-and-strawberry PJ's.

"You sure you didn't accidentally throw them out of the window?" Lily asked, keeping a straight face.

"There's an idea..."

---

The next morning (Saturday), the group were found sitting around the common-room after breakfast. Lily felt ready to chuck up; she had eaten way too many scones and muffins that morning.

Meddy's attempts to make her eat Ginger Newts (as they would simply make a tummy ache "go away") just made her feel even worse.

Emily and Penny were fighting, as only twin sisters could, over who would read the December issue of the _Duibblerdog_, and who would read the latest _Teen Witch: What's Hot & What's Not_. And also, who would get the life-size poster of Justin Chad Imrie, the oh-so-gorgeous teenage boy who also happened to be the hottest rock (wizard) singer around.

The Marauders were sitting near them, but they were not conversing with the girls. True, Sirius _did_ seem to go green with envy as he occasionally watched Penny screech, "I LIKED HIM BEFORE YOU! _I_ SHOULD GET THE POSTER!", but he flicked back towards his friends so that no one really noticed.

Meanwhile, he and Remus were busy talking to James about his lovelife.

No one noticed this either, but Lily was listening hard as she clutched onto her stomach and wondered why she always had to read the out-of-date issues of the _Duibblerdog_.

"So, Prongsie, dating any new girls this year?" Sirius asked casually.

"He's not, strangely enough," Remus filled in, "It's like he's stopped... just for Lily."

The sudden stop in Penny and Emily's screamed argument and constant tug-o-war of the poster should have told the boys that they were clearly listening. But the boys were a little oblivious to their surroundings.

"Aww, isn't that sweet? He loves our 'lil Lily," Sirius cooed, nudging James who was putting up a good show of ignoring him.

Lily's stomach did a flip flop and she felt the fifty-hundred scones and muffins in her churning around.

"Love? I doubt Prongs even knows what that is."

Lily suddenly leapt towards the boys and said, "Well, here's the perfect opportunity to learn."

Clutching onto the Bible, she stared defiantly at James (who looked startled) and said, "Potter, remember one Corinthians, chapter thirteen, verses four to seven."

He barely had the time to go, "Why?"

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

Blushing for no apparent reason, Lily looked up at him.

"I knew that!" James said indignantly, "I _am_ a Christian you know."

Sirius continued to look blank.

"Yeah... well... you remember... Daniel... chapter... two... verse... seventeen," he said, obviously trying to prove something to Lily.

The redhead arched an eyebrow. Then she opened her Bible and began to flick through it. When she found the desired page, she began to read, "Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friend, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah...?"

Sirius cringed, "Yeah... remember... that."

Lily smirked as she snapped her Bible shut, "Give it up, Sirius."

"Well, I tried!"

"Yes... tried."

James bit hard on his tongue as he had been _very _tempted to say, "You're very pretty, Evans." But that, he realised, was not the sort of thing Lily admired or liked.

---

It had been a glorious yet normal Saturday for James Potter and Sirius Black. James was quite proud of Sirius, who had managed to restrain himself from lunging at Penny and Emily and tearing the life-size poster of Justin Chad Imrie into smithereens.

Honestly, listening to those two made you want to snog a hippo. In PEACE and QUIET.

Yick.

The two seventeen-year-old boys were now lazily strolling down a deserted corridor. They had just gotten back from a quick trip to the kitchens, where they ate... a lot.

"Hmm... Ongs can I tie ansfiguring oo?"

"What?" James asked.

Sirius swallowed several times and bits of crumbs flew out of his mouth, "Can I try transfiguring you?"

"Yeah, but as if you could," James chuckled.

"Well, I'll try!" Sirius said indignantly.

"Yes... _try_."

"You have so much faith in me," Sirius said sarcastically, shoving the last few pasties into his pocket and looking for his wand. He pulled out an object and said, "_Enstrata_!"

Nothing happened.

"That's a tape measure," James pointed out.

Sirius looked down and stuffed the tape measure back into his pocket. When he pulled his hand back out, he was holding his wand.

"_Enstrata_!"

James felt a most peculiar sensation as though he had been turned into a pile of jelly. Then he glowed a misty blue as his figure began to shrink... He grew smaller and smaller until...

He was an _echidna_?

"Holy pies!" Sirius exclaimed, staring blankly at James... the echidna, who looked quite annoyed.

"SCORE!" Sirius yelled triumphantly, punching the air, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, go me, go me... I just transfigured my best friend into an echidna..."

The echidna made a very pissed off noise.

"What's that, Prongsie? Can I change you back? No can do, mate. So sorry. I dunno how. _But_, before you kill me with those magnificent prickles that _I_ charmed into existence, you'll be quite pleased to know you shall change back into yourself in... twelve hours, I believe."

Sirius sounded very enthusiastic and excited, though James/echidna could not imagine why.

"Well, see ya later! Hehehe... I am so _brilliant_..." and Sirius skipped off, leaving the poor little echidna to figure out WHAT IN THE WORLD TO DO. Finally, he scurried off quickly, before anyone could find him and do Merlin-knew-what.

---

At dinner, Remus and the girls were worrying over where James was. Normally, they wouldn't care, but James had disappeared with Emily's textbook and she made a big deal out of it. So now, everyone was worried.

That was the power of Emily Walkerdon.

Sirius skidded towards his friends at their usual spot at the table, where they were already beginning their evening meal.

"It's funny how time passes so quickly," Meddy said wonderingly, "Another day is gone... Another dinner is eaten..."

"Another _tasty_ dinner," Penny added.

"Where is James?" Emily moaned, "I want my textbook!"

"We'll see him in the morning," Sirius said carelessly, though it looked like he was biting back the urge to laugh, "No need to fret about it now. Let us enjoy this _tasty_ dinner."

Lily cast him a suspicious glance before shrugging and returning back to her pie.

"Oh, my! That is so _cute_!" she suddenly squealed, looking at the ground.

Frowning, the girls all turned to see what she was looking at. It was a small echidna crawling towards them. It's big eyes blinked and, Emily thought she might be hallucinating, it smiled.

Sirius suddenly had a coughing fit.

"What?" Lily shot at him, "Well, it is cute!" And she ran over to pick the echidna up. She cradled it gently in her arms and brought it over to the table. Sirius knocked over his glass of pumpkin juice and sounded like he might cough himself to death.

"What's an echidna doing here, anyway?" Remus wanted to know, while thumping Sirius on the back.

Sirius recovered remarkably quickly and shot his other best friend a, "SHUT UP RIGHT NOW AND I'LL TELL YOU THE REST LATER" look.

"Who knows?" Lily said dismissively, still gazing fondly at the little creature who was running around her plate (Penny and Meddy squealed as it made a beeline for their dinner), "It's _so_ adorable!"

The echidna seemed to love the attention the redhead was giving him... or her.

Wink, wink.

"I think you look like a Prickie... yes, Prickie is the _perfect_ name for you! Isn't it, darling?" Lily gushed at the echidna.

Her three girl friends glanced at each other. They were amused and scared for her sanity.

Friends.

"You aren't keeping him, are you?" Penny asked uncertainly. Sirius was now rolling freely on the ground, laughing. But this was so normal that hardly anyone bothered to look or care.

"Well..." Lily said, biting her lip, "What if I am?"

"Um, but Lils," Meddy said, sounding a mite anxious, "It might be the pet of an innocent first-year who's bawling their eyes out at the moment."

"I see no one crying."

"Generally, Lily, first-years stay in their dormitory and cry."

Lily felt like the whole world was against her. The echidna looked up at her with those adorable eyes and she couldn't resist his (or her) charm.

"I'll put up notices on the board," she finally decided, though secretly she knew she was going to do nothing of that sort, "And anyone who _might_ have lost a pet echidna can come and claim him... but only if they can describe how Prickie looks!"

And it was so.

For the rest of the evening, Lily took great care of Prickie. Prickie loved her attention and always wanted to stay in her arms. He (or she) did not seem to like Penny or Meddy or Emily's arms. He absolutely _hated_ Sirius (he bit him on the nose), but stayed on Remus' shoulder for a minute before scurrying off back to Lily.

Lily conjured up a little, comfy bed for her pet echidna when the time came for sleep. However, Prickie did not want to sleep in it. He insisted on staying on Lily's pillow.

"Fine then, you adorable little ball of spikes," the redhead said fondly, "But just wait--" She cast a spell on Prickie so that his spikes felt equivalent to a pile of cotton wool.

"There you are," she said cheerfully, placing Prickie on top of her doona, "Now you won't hurt me if I accidentally rub against you!"

The small creature seemed to beam.

The twins and Meddy exchanged glances over Lily's head, but said nothing.

---

MORNING.

Cocka-doodle-doo.

Lily's face twitched and she rolled comfortably on her side. But as she did, she felt something sleeping next to her.

Or rather, _someone_.

Opening her bleary eyes, Lily sat up groggily and rubbed her face. She yawned and glanced to her left and froze entirely.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

---

James awoke with a start. For a moment, he wondered why the living hell he was in Lily's _bed_. As many naughty deeds came flying at him, he remembered...

Sirius' voice was echoing in his mind...

_"Oh yeah, oh yeah, go me, go me... I just transfigured my best friend into an echidna..."_

_Wait, that's not useful_, James thought blankly.

_"...you shall change back into yourself in... twelve hours, I believe."_

_Oh, shit._

An annoyed Lily Evans was something to fear.

An angry Lily Evans was something to run away from.

A beyond-furious Lily Evans was a clue to write your death will.

_Give my broomstick to S-- no, not that idiot. Remus. Give my owl to Remus. Give my 'Quidditch Through The Ages' to Remus. Give my autographed Chudley Canons poster to Remus. Ah, give everything to Remus and NOTHING to the idiot who shan't be named._

The anger disappeared from Lily's face rapidly and James blinked, wondering if he was dead already. Panic crossed her face and she began to thrash around, throwing her covers aside.

"Lily? What's... happening?" came Penny's voice.

"POTTER!" Lily shrieked, on the verge of tears, "How the hell did you get in here and _what have you done to Prickie_?"

Still wondering if he was dead yet, James said dazedly, "Uhh..."

"UGH! I don't want to know!" the redhead screamed, "Just-- get _out_! Out! OUT!"

And she threw her pillow at him, along with her stuffed cat, Gooseberry.

James found his miracle and bolted for the door. He wrenched it open, ran down towards the stairs, and was about to gallop down singing, "OOOH! HAPPY DAYS, WHEN JESUS WASHED MY SINS AWAY!" when the stairs immediately dissolved into a... Super Fun Happy Slide!

"AHHH!" he yelped, tripping over his head and slipping down the slide.

Sirius, who had been waiting at the bottom of the girls' dormitory stairs for Penny, looked up and vaguely took note that the figure of his best friend was flying down towards him.

"What the--?"

James crashed into Sirius, and the two tripped and swore and got all tangled up.

"What the hell, James?!" Sirius exclaimed.

----------

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for reviewing. Right, as for the credits... The "cooking Alice" thing occured to me in English when we had to do these worksheets. Ugh. We had to add commas and one of the sentences was "When we were cooking Alex forgot the herbs" I was laughing hysterically at that. Except I saw my friend Alice after English and I decided to change the name to Alice. End of story. The definition of Love is from the Bible, I had had church that day and the idea just popped into my head. Now, as for the echidna thing... Muahahaha. In Science we were watching a nature video, and I saw an echidna and I was like "That's so cute!" Then Nikki and I began talking until... I made that thing up. Sorta scary!! LUV YOU ALL! --MSQ.


	13. Sewing Up The Loose Ends

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Thirteen ll Sewing Up The Loose Ends**

----------

"PRONSGIE-WONGSIE! What the _heck_ were you doing up there?" gasped Sirius, looking as if he might die of a heart attack.

"Careful, now, I don't wanna dial 911..." James said, attempting to be funny as he sheepishly brushed invisible lint off his robes.

"You lucky SOD!" Sirius continued to gasp, "You got to _go into their dormitory_! TELL ALL!"

"Padfoot!" James exclaimed with dignity, "How dare you think that I would be _that_ much of a pervert! I am ashamed of you! I did _not_ see a single thing and am quite glad of it too!"

"Right..." Sirius rolled his eyes, "So... how did Lily react?"

"Oh, yes I remember now," James said sarcastically, "WHY DID YOU TRANSFIGURE ME? I'M GONNA BE A DEAD MAN!"

"A dead man," Sirius repeated knowledgably, "Look, if it'll make you _feel_ any better, I'll take _all_ the blame--"

"So you should! It was all your fault anyway!"

"Yes, we shall stick to that story."

"STORY? IT'S A _FACT_!"

"Okay James, no need to yell now," Sirius said reasonably.

"YELL?!"

"Yes, _yell_. 'Tis when you talk in capital letters."

"In-- in _what_?" Poor James was rather confuzzled.

"POTTER!"

"Oh, _crap_!" said an alarmed James, looking for a place to hide.

"You know, oddly enough, that doesn't sound like Lily," stated Sirius vaguely, looking up the slide.

"Yeah-- you're right."

"Oh!" Sirius suddenly beamed, "Hi Penny!"

A furious Penny jumped to her feet as soon as she slid neatly onto the floor.

"Shove it, Sirius!" she yelled angrily, balling her fists and glaring up at James, "You've really done it this time, POTTER."

She spat his name out as if it tasted like asparagus.

James and even Sirius winced and slowly shrank back as this raging girl towered over them.

Honestly, the things Lily teaches her very best friends.

"Lily's about to _die_ because of the thought that she let _you_ into our dormitory!" she screamed.

"I swear to Merlin, I didn't see anything--" James started helplessly.

"--NOT TO MENTION _IN HER BED_!"

"James you dirty boy!" Sirius exclaimed, looking shocked.

James glared at him.

"So... umm..." he pondered over his words as Penny took deep breaths, "You... you've figured out now that I was Prickie-- the echidna?"

Still breathing dangerously heavily, Penny managed to growl, "_Yes_."

"And...?" Sirius said, clearly enjoying this.

"Sirius!"

"Fine," he sighed heavily, "Okay Penny, hear me out, and don't kill me until you've given me a ten second headstart," Sirius took a deep breath, "It was out of my best interests at heart to test my transfiguring skills--"

"_What_?"

"Hold on, dear, not quite finished yet. So as I was saying, I was testing my transfiguring skills on Jamesie here... and fancy this, he turned into an echidna!"

Sirius was attempting to sound cheerful but the wobble in his voice gave away that he was scared of Penny.

"Go on," the girl said dangerously calmly.

"Well... I couldn't transfigure him back, because my transfiguring skills aren't _that_ developed. In fact, it was a shock when Prongsie _did_ turn into an echidna. I had no idea I could do such a thing. Honest to Merlin."

Penny looking livid with rage, "Get to the point if you still want your seven second head start."

"Seven seconds? It was ten!"

"Each time you irritate me with your stupidity or _ground-breaking news_, a second gets taken off," Penny said complacently, breathing heavily down her nose, "Now it's six seconds. I suggest you don't aggravate me anymore or it will get to minus ten seconds."

Gulping, Sirius gabbled, "Okay, okay, so I couldn't transfigure him back! But I knew the spell would wear off in twelve hours!"

The look on Penny's face made James almost sorry for his best friend.

"FIVE SECONDS!" she yelled, "Why didn't you just _tell_ us what had happened to him?!"

"Well, after Lily began saying how cute he was... I just didn't have the heart to tell!" Sirius exclaimed honestly.

"Four," Penny said furiously, "Thank you for that wonderful explanation. One. Two--"

"Sh--" Sirius whirled around and sprinted out of the common-room. He smashed his leg against the portrait of the Fat Lady as he flew off.

Penny tore after him without so much as a glance at James. No fair! She only gave Snuffles a two second headstart!

Slack people...

Sighing, James looked up and managed just in time to stop himself from rumpling up his hair. He continued to glance up the girls' dormitory stairs (they had changed back) and looked like he was expecting something to happen to sort out this messy situation.

_I suppose I had better talk to Lily... no, scratch that. That's mission impossible. I'll... write a letter. Merlin, who'd see the day when I'd be writing an apology letter?_

So James Potter betook himself back to his dorm, hoping that his dear friend Remmy or even _Peter_ would be in there. But their beds were empty; Remus' one neatly made, and Peter's in a tangled mess of blankets and candy wrappers.

He pored through his drawers until he found a decent-looking scroll of parchment. True, it's edges had been gnawed off a little (probably Peter chewing on it when he got a little hungry), but it looked like a nice patten. Sort of.

_Dear Lily_, he started.

_No, that's too... odd_, he thought, and rubbed it out.

_To Lily,_

_No... that won't do either. 'To Lily' sounds too formal_, he thought, so he rubbed that out too.

Finally, James decided on _Dear Lily._

_Dear Lily,_

_I would tell you this in person, but I may end up with extra or less body parts, so I think it would be safer to tell you in written form. Firstly, I DID NOT SEE ANYTHING. Honest to Merlin. I solemnly swear. I closed my eyes whenever one of you girls were getting dressed or undressed. See, I'm a nice sort of guy. If it had been Sirius in my place... well, never mind._

_Speaking of which, this entire thing was Sirius' fault. Yes, Sirius Black. He wanted to test out his 'transfiguring skills' and the result was I turned into an echidna. Of all things, an echidna. What. The. Hell. Never knew the 'Enstrata' spell tranfigured people into echidnas._

_I am so glad I am writing this, for I fear that I may be a little Dungbeetle by now if I was telling you this in person. The point is, Sirius was the one who transfigured me and Sirius is the one who didn't know the spell to turn me back. The sodding idiot. But he knew it wore off in 12 hours, and that is what happened. Unfortunately._

_So anyway, I was left to crawl around the entire of Hogwarts! Do you know how difficult it is to do that?! Finally, I made it to the Great Hall. Sirius, that git, had evidently not told any of you of what had happened to me. So, you started saying I was cute and well... I couldn't tell you that I was me!_

_Well, that's about it. I hope you won't kill me; all curses and hexes should be directed to Sirius. Although Penny has already given him a run for his life..._

_--James._

Lily ripped the letter in half. Then into quarters. Then eighths. She probably would have ripped them into sixteenths, but it was getting rather difficult to tear them up any further.

"Who was that from?" Meddy asked, sounding almost hysterical. She was still anxious and paranoid by the fact that a boy had been in their dorm all night without them knowing.

Penny was still missing. She had burst out of the room in the morning, murmuring something about an idiot named Potter. Meddy and Emily had woken up to Lily's ultra-piercing scream.

"Potter, that insufferable _git_," Lily seethed, though she wasn't as angry. In fact, she was amused by James' choice of words in his letter.

"Oh, and don't worry," she added, crumpling the eighths of James' letter in her right hand. She tapped them with her hand and a flame sparked. Watching in a satisfied way as the parchment began to burn, she said, "He didn't see anything."

Meddy and Penny began to relax. Meddy turned to make her bed neatly while Emily pressed Lily on for more answers.

"So, how did he explain the entire echidna thing?" she asked lazily, swinging her legs back and forth while perched on her bed.

Lily frowned as she fluffed up her pillow, "Oooh... it's Sirius' fault."

"Sirius' fault again, hey? Bet Penny loved that," Emily grinned, "So what did he do?"

Thus, Lily launched into a long and tiring explanation, during in which Penny came back, looking rather satisfied. Her hair was flying out of her usual neat plait and her cheeks were very flushed. Traces of sweat were dotted on her forehead.

"So whatcha been up to, Pen?" Meddy asked when Lily finished her little story.

"Oh... chased Sirius," Penny instantly became interested in the great ball of clothes spilling out of her wardrobe, "Kicked Sirius, hit Sirius, slapped Sirius..." She trailed off.

"Kissed Sirius," Emily pointed out slyly.

Penny's head shot up at once, "Huh?"

Meddy and Lily immediately grinned as well, both looking like Chesire cats. The three girls abandoned what they were doing to corner Penny into an explanation with ALL the details.

"You can always when someone's been kissed!" Lily started in a singy voice.

"Yup, their lips get all red and swollen!" chimed in Meddy, "And they look like they're in _lurrrve_."

Penny was blushing a bright red that went up to the roots of her hair.

"So how was it, dear sister?" Emily asked, trying to hide the laughter in voice. Then she squealed and hugged Penny, "You gots your first kiss, you gots your first kiss!"

"Ugh, get off!" Penny exclaimed hotly, though she was smiling.

"So, how was it?"

"It was... good, I suppose. Not that I had anything to compare it against!" Penny went even more red.

"As if. You've dated..." Lily trailed off.

"Zero guys," Penny said in an "exactly" voice.

"What about Sonny?" Emily asked, frowning, "You know, in third-year?"

"He was so not a date!"

"Yeah, sure," Meddy said with a grin.

"Well, I'm glad it's all peachy dandy between you and Sirius," Lily said complacently, with the air of someone trying to bring the conversation back to the _original_ topic, "But right now, I'm going to go and murder him."

"You do that," Emily said cutely, nodding her head, "But you might wanna get dressed first. Today is SATURDAY."

"Yes... Saturday is a pretty day," Meddy said, rolling her eyes.

"TODAY IS HOGSMEADE DAY!" shrieked Penny in delight, still a little pink.

"Ohmygosh, I havadatewithAmos!" squealed Lily so hysterically that it was an achievement the others understood what she said. A second later, she was obscured from vision by her wardrobe, in search for the "perfect outfit".

Meddy rolled her eyes, Penny crossed her arms and mouthed, "JAMES IS THE ONE FOR HER!", and Emily pouted.

---

Sirius stared long and hard at his hard-boiled egg which was sitting in his egg cup. In front of him was what the average person would consider as the world's largest breakfast. Cereal, three pieces of toasts, bacon, scrambled eggs, a boiled egg, a crossiant, half a sausage (the other half gulped down by him) and a hashbrown.

"So you wrote a _letter_ to her," he repeated for the fortieth time, staring straight at James as though he could not believe it.

"Yes."

"Well..." Sirius blinked and gradually (and finally), the message sank in, "...that's... extremely odd."

And he picked up his fork and, still staring into space, poked at his boiled egg.

Remus looked at him and concluded he needed mental help. No, seriously. He wasn't just thinking that because Sirius was being weird. He _really_ need that help. And quickly.

Peter, who had been immensely absorbed in adoring his waffle, choked.

Sirius stopped poking his egg mechanically and thumped his friend on the back, also passing a glass of water over.

"Here you go, Wormtail."

"OHMEMERLIN, HIDE!" James shouted panickedly, diving into invisibility under the table.

Sirius looked up, cursed, and in a scramble where his chair and glass of orange juice got knocked over, disappeared.

Remus frowned and poked his head under the tablecloth, "What the hell are you guys _on_? Cocaine?"

James pulled a face and hissed strainedly, "It's the demon girls!"

Remus looked blank and confused while Peter hiccoughed into his napkin.

"The demon girls?" Remus repeated dazedly. Then he saw who was coming.

"Oh, you mean _Lily_ and them."

There was a slight rukus under the table and Remus distinctly heard James murmur, "_Lily_ and them _are_ the demon girls!"

"Good morning, Remus, Peter," came from the four girls briskly, even Emily who liked greeting people with, "GOOOOOD MORNING!"s and " 'SUP MAH HOMIES?!"

"Morning," Remus said pleasantly, feeling quite superior as he reached over for his glass of juice. Peter had finally stopped coughing his lungs out and smiled weakly at the girls, shifting over a bit so Meddy could sit down.

"Say, you haven't seen James or Sirius, have you?" asked Penny in a calm voice. For some reason, that voice pricked the hairs on the back of Remus' neck, and Peter shivered slightly.

At the same time, Remus felt his ankle being grabbed onto tightly. Trying to pull a normal face, he wriggled his leg violently.

"Yes, I have," he said innocently.

"Really?" inquired Lily politely, "Where may they be?"

"Oh," Remus said in an agonisingly slow voice, "They are--" he felt a sharp intake in his right ankle and thought better on how to finish the sentence, "--un-somewhere."

"Un-somewhere?" Lily repeated, raising her eyebrows.

"No, just somewhere."

Looking slightly disappointed, Penny asked bittersweetly, "And where may that _somewhere_ be?"

For a moment, he thought that maybe his ankle was twisted. The pain was so much that Remus instantly yanked his foot away and yelled, "Merlin, you two! Stop it! That really friggin' hurt!"

There was a smack as Remus yanked his leg and a moaning, "OW!" under the table.

"Why'd you kick me, Moony?" came Sirius' mournful voice, as James sheepishly crawled out from under the table.

"It was an accident."

Sirius also emerged. The two boys that looked like they had been told off for spoiling the girls' skipping in the school yard looked up at Penny and Lily sheepishly.

"Hello Penny... Em... Meddy... and... Lily," Sirius said in a teeny-tiny voice, nodding to all of them.

"Hi," Penny said a little formally, but she went a bit pink.

"Hey, man," Emily said in her usual voice, poring through the plate of pancakes as she looked for choc-chip ones.

"Morning," Meddy replied.

"Sirius," Lily nodded her head over at him, her jaw clenching slightly.

Looking positively relieved, Sirius slumped into his chair and put a hand on his heart.

Then it was James' turn.

"Good morning Penny, Emily, Meddy, Lily."

"Good morning to you, James," came Penny.

" 'Sup?" came Emily.

"Hello-ha," came Meddy.

Silence...

"Lily?" James said in a tiny voice, sounding desperately hopeful.

Silence...

"Lily?" he tried again, looking as if he was about to shed a tear or two.

Silence...

"James," Lily said cordially, not looking at him.

He could've jumped for joy.

----------

A/N: I GOT MY NEEDLE TODAY! It was PAINFUL! But at least I have a much less chance of getting Meningicocal or however you spell it... I hope you liked that chappie! I'm also extremely sorry for the long time it took me to update. I write slowly, and since I want all my chapters to be good and not rushed, it makes me even slower.

**An important notice for those who are reading my Wedding Invitations stories-- **I am hoping to post the sequel to _Wedding Invitations: The Wrong Names!_ later this afternoon. I'm going to have my hands full, for I've only written enough for one chapter's worth. Updates may take awhile!

Also, _You're The Flower For Me_ is available in French! Translated by _MissLily-33_

Bye!! Thank you if you have added me to your favourite author's list! I feel so.... loved! XD --MSQ.


	14. Swinging Both Ways?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Fourteen ll Swinging Both Ways?**

----------

"I don't wanna be here."

Famous words by James Potter. He did not want to be at Hogsmeade. Why? Simple. Because of a lovey-dovey couple by the name of Amos and Lily. His little redhead was also looking _extremely _gorgeous, with a white tank top, white blouse and long black pants.

Although James got his way a lot, he still found himself seated at the Three Broomsticks (reminsicing through glorious yet somewhat painful memories of his last visit here with a particular girl), with Remus and Peter. Seated on the table beside them was Sirius, Penny, Emily and Meddy. Seated near the corner was Amos and Lily.

Her long, cascading, red hair fell down past her shoulders in soft waves, and-- James had better stop thinking of her or he might get really sad.

So he shifted his glance back to Sirius and the girls, who looked mightily bored.

_Figures... Sirius' speeches always put you to sleep..._

"I know you don't want to be here," Remus said patiently, taking a sip of his Butterbeer, "But we sort of have to."

"No we don't!" moaned James tragically, putting his head down onto the wooden table.

"Yeah we do!" Peter exclaimed indignantly, "We're low on fireworks, and also Dungbombs. We have to go to Zonko's to stock up."

A low mumble came from James.

"C'mon Prongs," Remus lowered his voice down a decibel while leaning forward, "Just because of Lily and Amos--"

"Yes, exactly because of Lily and Amos!" James grunted, shooting the aforementioned a sharp glance, "I just don't want to see them-- together!"

"_Ja-a-a-a-a-a-ames_," Remus whined, poking at his glass of Butterbeer, "Lily is happy, and that's all you should really care for if you really like her! Her happiness!"

"I _do_ want her to be happy," James protested, "But I also want her to be _mine_!" He clenched his fists and Remus thought he was going to pound himself in the chest like Tarzan.

"Okay, change of subject in need," said the werewolf desperately, "So... how is Elle?"

"Elle? Elle is good," moaned James, "I am not so good. I want Lily he-e-e-ere."

"Well, just call her over," Peter said, rolling his eyes. He looked down at his china cup of Iced-Spice Chocolate and fished out the cherry from the bottom. Then he stopped trying and began adding colourful sprinkes on top.

James just shot him a Look.

"What?" Peter said innocently, his mouth full of cherry, "Lily!"

"Nooo," James moaned and thumped his head back down on the table again.

Lily had looked up at once, and she gazed at Peter intently, "What, Peter?" Amos also looked over.

James kept his head on the table.

Remus shut his eyes and wished he could drown himself in his Butterbeer.

"James wants to--" Peter stopped sharply when James kicked him under the table, "--nothing."

"Uhhh, okay," Lily said resignedly, turning back to her date with the tiniest trace of a sigh.

Okay, she had to admit. She was bored. Bored out of her flippin' mind. Don't get her wrong or anything; Amos was a nice guy and she respected the fact that he was taking the time to at least _try_ and make things interesting. Yet, at the same time, Lily had the sneaking suspicion that Amos was being deliberately boring by talking about politics.

But what kinda boy _tried_ to be boring?

Arranging her face so that she may at least _appear_ interested, Lily chanced a glance back over at her friends. Of course, since they were talking with Sirius, they all looked quite bored. Remus and Peter looked bored. James had his head on the table but she was sure he was bored too.

Since when did un-bored people put their heads on their table?

What a boring Hogsmeade trip.

"...and-- Lily, are you listening?"

_I was trying not to, you creepy little warthog._

"Yup, of course."

"Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, my mum has this fantastic soup recipe..."

_He must be the first boy in the universe to talk about cooking on a first date._

"...and then it was like CRASH! I couldn't believe I had flew right into a tree! I was all right, of course..."

_I wish you hadn't been okay._

"...my dad owns this farm, and we visit it every summer. When I was four, I learnt how to milk the cows and make jam and butter. It was _so_ much fun-- you must come and visit it with me some day, won't you?"

_Not on my mum's life, my deranged friend._

"And-- Lily, am I boring you?"

_YES!! _

"Well..." Lily paused and bit her lip, "Sorry Amos, but... yeah, you are. Sort of." She didn't like lying, but sometimes, exceptions had to be made.

"Then how can I spice things up?" Lily cringed at his words. Oooh, they were terrible and old-fashioned. She looked around for a hiding place where she could... well, hide, and then die in silence.

"Can my friends join us?" she blurted out, still fashioning over her "hide-and-die" idea.

It really wasn't a bad idea.

Amos looked disappointed, "But Lily, this is a _date_. Not a big group thing. I don't want your friends hindering. If your friends hinder, then _my_ friends have the same right to come and hinder too."

What was he, president of the United States?

Lily cringed again.

_Hinder_.

Her mind immediately clicked back to the "hide-and-die" suggestion.

"I don't mind if they h--... _come along_," she said slowly, "I really don't mind... and..."

She broke off and looked wistfully at her friends.

Meanwhile, Remus had concocted the most brilliant idea in the world. He decided to end his friends' boredness. So he stood up, grabbed Sirius by the collar ("...and the muesli served was like YUM, and-- OW! What are you doing, Moony?") and shoved him in the seat beside James, who still had his head on the table.

"Moony?" Sirius said in a small voice, wondering if his friend was okay.

Remus said nothing and began to cram chairs around his table. He then beckoned Meddy, Penny and Em to sit with him, which the girls did, before turning towards Lily and waving obscurely in what she thought either meant "ditch Amos and come join us" or "go up the road and buy us some Cauldron Cakes".

Checking her light money bag and noting that she didn't have enough for eight Cauldron Cakes, she ignored the latter and said feverishly, "Look Amos, I'm not having fun and I really want to talk to my friends. You can come, too... if you want."

"Fine," Amos said snappishly, standing up with the air of offence. He turned to walk away, but then turned back around.

"Look Lily, I'm sorry," he said, looking somber, "I'm sorry that this didn't turn out quite as well as planned. Would you... would you join me at the Hufflepuff table for dinner tonight?"

Lily smiled warmly, very flattered, "Of course, Amos. I'll see you later."

Beaming, Amos bent forward, gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek.

"Bye, Lily."

Smiling distantly after him, the redhead turned back around and trotted over to her friends.

"Hi everyone!" she said happily.

"Hi Lily," Sirius said extremely casually, "How's _Amos_?"

"He's fine," Lily said autmoatically, sliding into a seat, "Anyway guys, what's up?"

"Many things--"

"I wasn't asking you, Sirius."

"But you were addressing all of us in general--"

"So Em, how're you doing?" Lily turned away from Sirius.

"What am I, some last resort?" Emily said, pretending to be offended.

"A resort?" Peter repeated, his eyes lighting up, "I went to one last summer, they had the _nicest_ ice-cream there..."

James lifted his head, "Florean Fortescue's have the _best_ ice-cream, so no summer-slash-beach resort can ever beat it! Seriously, it's _sooo _tasty."

"Yes, did someone say my name?" Sirius said briskly, looking around expectantly.

"No, I said--"

"Hey, that's a pretty barrette, Em," Penny said somewhat casually to her sister, "Say, it looks like _my missing one from five months ago_!"

"Err..." Emily started sheepishly.

"Cosima _adores_ cats. Her bedroom is seriously cat heaven. She has stuffed cats, a cat bedspread, curtains, quilt covers, cat pillow case... Her wardrobe is stencilled and painted with cats, courtesy of our daddy, and she even has a waste paper basket that has pointy cat ears sticking up," Lily was telling Meddy.

"Sounds like a true fan to me," Meddy said with a chuckle.

"I have fan earrings," Penny said, turning to them.

"You know, this first-year asking me if I had _earrings_," James told Sirius and Remus, "Midgets these days..."

Okay, so now everyone was talkative and chattering and all 'round just happy. But it was getting a _little_ loud and annoying, especially for one boy who didn't want everyone to be bored, but didn't want everyone to be screaming about earrings and cats either.

"WHO WANTS MORE BUTTERBEER?" Remus yelled over the commotion.

"I do!" yelled every last one of them, the conversations ceasing at once.

"Okay, then go get some yourselves. And _be quiet_!"

They all murmured and grumbled, saying something about being tricked. Penny stood up to fill her tankard, but instantly the girls and Sirius also held their's up too, flashing innocent smiles.

"No, go fill it yourself!" Penny exclaimed defiantly, walking haughtily to the counter.

Lily pouted and set her glass on the table, before going through her bag and pulling out a king-size chocolate bar. Smiling faintly, she unwrapped it and bit into it.

"Can I have some?" James asked her innocently.

She stopped staring out the window and cocked her head to one side, widening her emerald eyes, "Why?"

" 'Coz I like chocolate," James answered, still ever-so-innocently.

"But I like chocolate too."

"Well, why don't you be nice and give me some?"

"And why should I?" Lily said, a smile stretching the corners of her mouth.

"Because sharing is caring!"

"Please don't make me remind you that sharing is for l--"

"Do _not _say sharing is for losers, you heartless meercat!" James exclaimed hotly.

"Sharing is--"

"NO!"

"Sharingisf--"

"NO, NO! QUIET!" James clapped his hands over his ears.

"SHARINGISFORLOSERS!" Lily cried gleefully.

"NOOOO!" James glared at her, "Just for that, you're going to be punished!" he shot a look at his friends, "We'll see you guys _tonight_!"

He grabbed her by the waist and dragged her out of the Three Broomsticks.

"Potter! What are you doing?" Lily shrieked, maintaining a very firm grip on her chocolate.

"Taking you out on a date," James grinned, "Or... you _could_ just give me some of that chocolate."

Lily bit her lip and glared at him, before turning to her precious chocolate.

"I choose NONE!" she yelled triumphantly, and tried to run back into the Three Broomsticks. James grabbed her by the shoulders and brought the kicking and screaming girl back.

"A date it is!" he proclaimed cheerily, "Off to Honeydukes, sweet pumpkin."

"What -- _no_!" Lily exclaimed indignantly, batting him away and trying to wrestle out of his grip, "Let _go_ of me!"

He would not release her until he had paid for his purchases (one hundred-and-one chocolate bars, Lily was sure he was making fun of her in some way or another) and they had gone back out onto the main street.

"Well, is this the end of the _d-a-t-e_?" Lily said half-sarcastically.

"The what? Oh... the _it._ Nope, there's still more to go! To the pet shop!" James cried cheerfully, trying unsucessfully to unwrap two chocolate bars.

"No."

"Aw, come on, Grumpy."

"But the _pet shop_?" Lily moaned, "Why the pet shop?"

"Because pets are C-O-O-L. The end," James grabbed her arm and tugged her towards a random pet store; the name of it which remains unknown as neither could be bothered to check it.

"You're a p-r-a-t-b-a-l-l," Lily muttered as he dragged her along.

The two entered the semi-crowded store where Lily immediately hurried to the kitten-and-puppy section, which she gazed at adoringly for a straight ten minutes. James stood near her and looked at the toads among other reptiles.

When he wandered over to her, she was playing with a little playful black-and-white kitten wiyj glimmering green eyes which surprisingly matched Lily's. Lily smiled as it purred and rubbed against her hand.

"It's so adorable," she whispered absently to James, rubbing the top of it's head affectionately.

James smiled at her and resisted the temptation to wrap his arms around her waist, "You could get it, you know. And name it Fluffy or Cutie or Muffin or whatever other names you girls have up your sleeves..."

Shooting him a look, Lily said resignedly, "I can't... My older sister's allergic. Otherwise, we'd definitely have one. My younger sister has a sort of obsession with cats."

"Aww, bummer," James said, watching as the kitten bounded over to another girl on the opposite side of the cage.

Lily looked disappointed, then she suddenly gasped and dove behind a glass owl display. On her way down, she grabbed James' arm and pulled him down as well.

"_Ow_! My elbow!" James moaned, "What was that for?"

"James, it's Amos!" she hissed panickedly, crouching down low and digging her nails into his arm.

"Ow," James repeated, feeling his skin burn.

Lily ignored him, "If he sees me with you, then he'll think I'm cheating on him or something that usually happens in a romance novel!"

James sighed inwardly, the pain from Lily's nails becoming so painful that he couldn't feel it anymore.

"Okay, well here's the plan..."

"There is no plan, is there?" Lily said fearfully, peering out from the sides of the glass display.

"No, there is!" James whispered, "Just let me think of it first..."

"Well, quick! He's coming closer!"

Chewing on his bottom lip and thinking as fast as he could, James snapped his fingers.

"Okay, the plan is to run out of the door."

Lily's jaw dropped open.

And she had thought he had a _real_ plan.

You know, one that might actually work.

"What, and attract more attention?" she hissed.

"Fine then, we'll walk _slowly_ and _calmly_," James said irritably.

"In disguise," she added quickly, "Take off your robe."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I'll need to wear it if I want to be _disguised_! Quick Potter, there isn't time to think you won't look devilishly handsome in your stupid robe! _Give it to me now_!"

James was a little taken-aback by her choice of words and her tone of voice, but took off his robe nonetheless and handed it to her.

Lily quickly threw it over her.

"That doesn't hide your very distinguishible red hair, pumpkin."

"I don't care, I'm leaving now!"

And with that, the girl stood up and walked quickly yet casually out of the store. James watched in relief as the glass door slowly shut with the tinkle of the bell.

"James!"

James nearly jumped half a mile and swore he trod on someone's foot in his shock. Amos Diggory was standing in front of him, beaming like he had won a contest or maybe hopscotch.

"What are you doing on the floor, big boy?" Amos asked heartily, offering his hand. James took it uncertainly and hauled himself up.

"Err, thanks," he said, feeling very insecure.

"So, what will you be _digging_ tonight?" Amos grinned and winked, "I hear you're quite an excellent _Seeker_." _Wink_.

Feeling extremely confused, James replied, "I'm a Chaser on the team..."

"Oh, and captain too, I hear," _wink_, "Perhaps you could show me some _captaincy qualities_?" Amos did not wink at this one, but his grin was becoming sort of scary.

"But you're already captain," James said meekly.

Amos paused for a moment, then said, "I hear you've got an _excellent _broomstick. Mine's pretty good, too. Perhaps we could ride each other's some day?" _WINK._

"Are you feeling okay?" James asked, hoping that Amos was not implying what James thought he was implying, otherwise he felt his stomach-full of chocolate ready to come back out, up his oesaphagus and out his mouth.

"What? Oh-- yes-- _no_. I'm feeling a bit _queer_, now that you mention it."

_WINK-BLOODY-WINK._

James almost screamed.

"Welldon'tstayheretoolongandgetbacktoMadamMeynonassoonaspossibleokayIhavetogonowseeya."

James bolted for the door, wretched it open and found, to his relief, the main street full of many witches and wizards, so any chance of him being homosexually raped went down to around zero.

Oh, ew. That was gross.

"What took you so long?" Lily asked with a hint of annoyance, passing James back his robe.

"Just one thing," he replied heavily, taking her arm and steering her away from the pet store, "If Diggory wasn't dating you, I'd classify him as _gay_."

"_What_? Why?"

So James explained.

"Well," Lily said doubtfully when he finished, "I'm not dumping him 'cause of that. He was probably just fooling around. Anyway, if you _don't_ classify him as gay, what do you classify him as? Surely not straight. Even I'm not sure of that anymore."

"No," James said slowly as they moved towards the Three Broomsticks, "Not straight nor gay. Just... just bisexual."

----------

A/N: Hehe, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, like I always hope so! XD Yup, kerfuffle is definitely a word! I read it in a book one time. Lol. I'm sorry to say I'm going to put an end to this story, because I want to finish it soon. So yeah! Lol, Lily & Amos will break up... eventually. They have to! I shall update as much as possible, which isn't very often. Sorry. :( Thank you everyone for reviewing! It made my day! :)

Yep, there are differences between Penny and Emily that I tried making obvious but not so obvious it was painful. As you can see, Emily is a lot more of a little girl than Penny, who's quite hot-tempered (like Lily) and defensive of her friends. While Penny strikes to be the sort of person to stick up for her friends and family, Emily is the little one who _needs_ to be protected. Lol. Okay, that's one easy way to sum up how they're different in personality. Hehe, bye bye! --MSQ.


	15. MuglsongsnNtepasin

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Fifteen ll MuglsongsnNtepasin**

----------

HISTORY OF MAGIC.

**_What did Binns just say about the Hopees?_**

James wrote this slowly and carefully in neat writing on a scrap piece of parchment and slid it over to Lily casually.

Lily had her chin propped in her hand and her eyes slid down towards the note. Sighing, she unpropped her chin and used both hands to unfold the parchment. Really, Potter had better stop passing notes or...

_Like you care._

James read this with a bemused smile.

**_You're so right. So how are you, my pumpkin?_**

_Potter, DO NOT CALL ME PUMPKIN. Even if I permitted that, I am most certainly not your pumpkin. And, you're a LOSER. The end. Case closed. Good BYE!_

**_That really hurt. You're making me cry, pumpkin. Do you want that on your conscience?_**

**_Hey, don't just scrunch up the note and chuck it at my head._**

**_For the love of Merlin, Lily!_**

**_You're wasting precious parchment!_**

_Potter, sod off and leave me alone!_

**_Finally, you speak/write!_**

_...Whatever, man! I need to listen to Binns to pass my N.E.W.T.S, so please LEAVE ME ALONE!_

**_You're gorgeous._**

Upon reading this, Lily rolled her eyes, crumpled the note in her hand and tossed it over her shoulder. She looked defiantly at James and resumed her position before the note era started.

James was staring at her, shocked, his mouth the perfect 'O'.

Meddy opened her bleary eyes when a rolled up and wrinkly bit of parchment hit her on her nose. Curiously sleepy, she moaned something about being a natural brunette and unwrapped the parchment. She became relatively awake when she finished reading, and picked up Emily's quill to write a note of her own.

_Lil, thanks the for note. It was amusing. Next time, however, please do not use me as a rubbish bin. I was dreaming!_

With that, Meddy folded the crinkled parchment neatly, leant forward and slid it under her friend's arm. Then she crossed her own arms and buried her head in it, hoping that maybe she'd return back to her dream.

When the redhead glanced down to draw the diagram on the blackboard, she saw, yet, another note. Of course, it would be from that stupid Potter. Who else would send her notes?

So without even reading it, she picked up her diary and brought it down heavily on James' head.

"OOOOWWWIE!"

Very glad to have a disruption, the class immediately looked at James whose face was confronted with pain as he rubbed the back of his head. Lily's seemingly innocent diary was sitting on her desk as she raised her eyebrows at James as if she didn't know him.

"Please restrain yourself, Perkins."

"What the f-- Um, yes sir."

As Professor Binns resumed his lesson, James almost tore apart his book as he grabbed some parchment and scribbled on it.

**_What was that for?!_**

_Potter, don't be such a git. You sent me another note when I specifically asked you not to._

**_You little... skow, what note have you "imagined" into existence? After you threw the last one at Meddy, I decided that no more parchment should be wasted on you!_**

Lily tossed the note she still hadn't read at James, shooting him a "SEE!" look. Then she turned away from him as if she had better things to do.

James unfolded the note, read it, sighed, and wrote back.

**_Meddy sent that, you skow._**

Lily turned a delicate shade of scarlet as she, too, read the note Meddy had written.

_Okay, okay. I'm sorry._

**_SHOCK HORROR! Did you know... that I have never received an apology from you before?_**

_You haven't?_

**_Well, I can't remember. But this is certainly something I'll be showing our children and grandchildren and their children!_**

_Potter, I'll marry Snape and have five kids with him before considering having children with you._

**_Lily, that went a little too far!_**

_I know. Oh, words come back!_

**_Could you just -- ERM -- cross them out, maybe?_**

James smiled with satisfaction when Lily replied, with a neat line running through her former disturbing message.

_Okay, I've crossed it out. Happy?_

**_As a peacock._**

_I think it's 'as proud as a peacock'._

**_Oh. I knew that._**

**_Fine. Bar me. Why must you always pass notes but then stop halfway?_**

**_Lily! ANSWER ME! You're gonna make me cry!_**

**_Oh yeah, real mature. Stop flicking the note back at me!_**

_Hi Prongsie._

**_Li-- Padfoot? What are you doing here?_**

_Um, I think you were attempting to give the parchment to Lily. But I got it instead. :)_

**_That's not good._**

_:o That is so mean! I'm barring you._

**_Great, 2 people are barring me now._**

---

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS.

_JP__- Snape is a git. I feel like... feeding him jelly. Hehehe. So much jelly he'll never be able to eat again without blowing up! Bwahahahahaha. Moment of insanity passed._

_RL__- James, you should seriously pay attention._

_JP__- Rem, don't worry. Padfoot and I always pass our exams. Just the matter of cramming the night before._

_SB__- Yo, saw my name. Talking about me?_

_JP__- Not in that way._

_SB__- Oooh, mental disturbing images._

_RL__- STOP IT!!! Okay, I refuse to take part in this--_

Sirius tore the note away from him in excitement.

_SB__- Masturbation!_

_JP__- Aww, Padfoot. That's festy._

The boys stopped writing/passing notes for a second as their DADA teacher talked about the three Unforgivable Curses.

_RL__- Wow. The killing curse._

_JP__- That's like pure evil. _

Sirius grimaced at the message. He had many horrible memories of his dark family. Or rather, the people he were related to. Certainly not a _family_...

James noticed the look on Sirius' face. He quickly snatched the note and began scribbling with his eagle quill.

_JP__- Sorry Padfoot. Anyway, Wormtail hasn't made much of an appearance in this lovely note passing session._

_PP__- Here I am. Everyone bow down and worship me. Muahahahahahaha. Greetings earthlings. And--_

_RL__- Sirius, it's so obvious it's you._

_JP__- Ditto. Besides, I saw you writing it before Remus took it off you._

_SB__- Well, can't blame a guy for trying, can you?_

_JP/RL__- Sure we can._

_SB__- :o Fine, cut me. I'm going to talk to PETER. He is a GOOD friend._

James and Remus snickered as Sirius picked up the note, scrunched it into a ball and tossed it to Peter. It landed easily on his desk, right in front of his nose.

_SB__- Why hello Wormtail. Lovely day?_

_PP__- You guys had a notepassing session without me!_

_SB__- Erm... no... You're in it now, aren't you? I mean, you just wrote something..._

_PP__- ...I guess. Hey, who was pretending to be me--_

Sirius (who had eyes of an eagle) reached over and snatched the note from Peter, upon seeing what he was writing. Smiling sheepishly at his quiet friend, Sirius poked the note in his pocket just as the teacher swept over him.

"What was that, Mr. Black?"

"Um."

"Give it to me, please," the professor said sharply, holding out her hand expectantly.

Sirius slowly reached into his pocket, trying hard to remember what had been written in the note. Coming to the conclusion that there was nothing too personal or gross on the parchment, he willingly gave it to the teacher who shot him a look and walked off, tossing the note in the wastepaper basket.

James smiled faintly as he watched their teacher throw away precious memories... not... Then he perked up a little when he saw Lily pass him a note.

Gaspshockhorror.

_You guys were passing notes again, huh? You should really stop._

**_Pumpkin, what are you doing right now?_**

_That's beside the point, Potter. I will hand out detentions, you know. For continual disobedience._

**_YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!_**

_Shut up, Potter._

Lily was blushing a little.

**_Okay, anything for you, my little pumpkin._**

Lily rolled her eyes in disgust and tossed the note on the floor, just as a whizzing ball came flying at James' head.

"Ow..." with a sigh, James unravelled the parchment and read it reluctantly.

It was from Sirius.

_I see you and Lily are gettin' it on!_

**_That is so completely wrong._**

_I know. It's not my fault. I was born with a perverted mind and it shall stay that way._

**_...Uh oh, practical session, coming up. No more notes._**

_AWWWWWWWWW... well, see you in Potions!_

**_I think that's also a practical lesson._**

_Well, STUFF THAT!_

The class were organized into partners, then were told to practice the counter-curses for a hex they had been learning about.

"_Ayrena_!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" Emily hollered as she ran around in circles, her sleeve on fire.

"Holy hell!" squealed Meddy, "I'm so sorry, Em!"

"Sorry doesn't put the fire out!"

So while they tried to find some solution (and they remembered how to extinguish fires with their wands-- sixth year, Charms), Lily, who was paired off with a girl named Rinoa Li, kept glancing over at James. Just for... safety reasons. Who knew what the boy could with a wand and several jinxes being learnt?

Yes, safety reasons.

Safety reasons only.

Nothing more.

"Miss Walker-- Miss Walkerdon!" their professor shouted over the repeated shrieks coming from Emily, and the yells and shouts from the other students. The counter-curse was shooting all sorts of different coloured jets of light across the classroom, bouncing off walls and books and furniture and causing others to scream and duck.

Emily and Penny both stopped and turned around.

"No, you're fine," the teacher told Penny breathlessly before turning to Emily, "You, however... Miss Kerrin and you had better sit out for now and start on your homework." She was glancing warily at Emily's burnt sleeve as she spoke.

So Meddy and Emily resignedly returned to their seats and pulled out their workbooks and such. Meddy, who got her work done more often and efficiently than the twins did, had already gotten her title written down, as well as a few words of a sentence.

_Kallifstone's Opinion On Countercurses_

_Robert Kallifstone's opinion on counter curses have a fair_

As soon as she finished her legible _'r'_, a note from Emily came wandering over. The rest of the class were screaming out jinxes and such and it was sort of distracting. But after a few years of being in the same class, you get used to it.

_MED!! I am in serious hot water. What are we supposed to do for the essay? --Em._

Sighing, Meddy replied back to Emily's needs.

_Read chapter seven of that book on your RIGHT and then put down the title: Kallifstone's Opinion On Countercurses. You're smart, you'll figure out the rest. --Med._

_Thanks. Check out Lils. She keeps looking at James. --Em._

_Yeah, I've noticed. Odd, isn't it? --Med._

_I reckon she likes him. Really, really likes him. Can't exactly blame her, James has changed a bit recently. --Em._

_More like changed a lot. --Med._

_Yeah, I reckon... --Em._

Their teacher swept over at them to check if they were doing their work. Emily quickly hid the note and pretended to read a page in the textbook that was completely unrelated to the topic of her essay.

---

POTIONS.

James was right; Potions _was_ a practical lesson. They had been instructed to brew up a highly complex potion called Thundaga, which caused chaos to one's life once drunken.

Professor Anson liked making his students' lives hell. He planned to make them sample it before taking over the world with his puppets... bwahahahaha.

Lily huffed as Anson criticized the amount of essence of Murtlap she had ladled into her cauldron. She stuck her tongue at their teacher's retreating back and lost ten points for doing so, for a sneaky Slytherin had dobbed her in.

Sirius and James had planned a prank. It was more of an experiment, actually. And if it worked, then they'd have a bit of fun out of it as well. They were using their "valuable" Potions time to work it out.

"Yeah, just add that... that's all," James murmured out of the corner of his mouth to Sirius.

Sirius emptied a jar of dried Pergient tentacles into his steaming and bubbling cauldron.

His cauldron gave a small explosion and the whole area was covered in a white mist, making it seemingly impossible to see anything.

"And what, Mr. Black, is this?" Professor Anson's cold voice came from in the mist somewhere.

"My version of Thundaga," Sirius grinned as the mist cleared.

"Perhaps you and Mr. Potter would like to sample it," inquired Anson briskly, looking calmly furious. If that was even possible.

"Why certainly," Sirius obliged cheerily. He snatched the ladle from the teacher, whose nostrils flared but said nothing, obviously wanting Sirius to quickly die a slow and painful death as soon as possible.

James passed his best friend two glasses and Sirius ladled a thin purple liquid into the glasses. He passed one to James, and they grinned as they clinked glasses.

"Cheers."

The rest of the class stopped working and observed them in interest.

Very slowly, James and Sirius drank their potions.

Sirius put down his glass and wiped his mouth, "Taste like blueberry."

"Funny, seems more like blackberry to me," James said briskly. The two set down their glasses and everyone watched in surprise as they were slowly uplifted off the floor.

They floated near the ceiling, as if they were flying. Many people gasped.

"Hey man, it worked!" James shouted gleefully. Sirius "flew" over to him and they shared a high-five.

"Potter--Black, get _down_ here!" yelled Anson furiously, whipping out his wand.

He was angry because they had ruined his master plan to rid the world of cat puppets, so he may take over with Mr. Doggie and Mr. Froggie...

At that moment, the bell rang, and everyone made a mad scramble to clear their cauldrons and escape from the Dungeon of Doom. Sirius and James dipped down low, grabbed their already-packed bags and flew out of the classroom.

The rest of the class also ran out, ignoring Anson's yelled, "Write an essay on Thundaga!" and proceeded to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Honestly, of all things!" Lily muttered, rolling her eyes. Emily knew she was talking about James and Sirius, but she swore Lily had had a smile on her face when the two drank their blueberry/blackberry potion and were uplifted towards the ceiling.

Oh, well. Maybe Emily needed her eyes checked.

"Oh. No. Oh, dear Merlin. Help us all," Penny murmured as soon as she stepped into the Great Hall.

"Please, please, please," Lily begged no one in particular, closing her eyes.

She opened them.

And cursed Merlin and the Great Wizards Above for hating her so much.

Flying about the ceiling, singing at the top of their lungs, were Sirius and James.

Remus smiled as the girls grew red in embarrassment and ducked their way to the Gryffindor table. Oh, the humiliation.

Everyone was staring and pointing at the two pranksters of Hogwarts. Some were giggling. Some were shaking their heads. Others were having laughing disorders. Slytherins looked as though they thought Sirius Black and James Potter were the biggest disgrace to mankind.

And they were probably right.

But the Gryffindors would never admit that.

"What in Merlin's beard are they singing?" Meddy asked, for once not concentrating on her lunch but on the two figures floating above them.

"_We've got to RISE UP,_   
_over little first years,_   
_RISE UP,_   
_through floating candles_."

Several Muggle-born students laughed, and most pure-bloods smiled and pointed. Others, however, scowled at this double disgrace.

"They are _so_ odd," Lily said, rolling her eyes and trying not to smile.

The twins and Meddy were giggling.

"It's cute though," Penny pointed out.

"_I'm like a bird,_   
_I'll only fly away,_   
_I don't know where your book is, (Remus)_   
_So sorry mate, I'll replace it_."

Sirius and James dipped down low so they were hovering inches above where Lily and the others were sitting, enjoying their lunch. They both began to plead with their love interests.

"Pumpkin!" called James joyfully, "Won't you come and join me in this wonderful flying-slash-singing session?"

"No flippin' way!" Lily exclaimed hotly.

"But, but, but," whined James, "We _have_ to! Don't be a meanie! Think of all the fairies you're killin' when you say you don't believe in 'em! I _do_ believe in fairies, I _do_, I _do_, I _do_!"

Lily stared at him.

Sirius was, of course, whining at Penny.

"But Penne-e-e-e-e," he pleaded, "Ple-e-e-e-e-ase?"

"Nuh _uh_!" Penny replied defiantly, turning away from Sirius.

"Fine, _fine_," Sirius said haughtily. He turned away and crossed his arms. At the last minute, he spun back around and grabbed Penny under her arms, hauling her up with him.

"What--_Sirius_!" Penny screamed, "I'm--scared--of--heights! Put me down!"

"Don't worry, I won't let go!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James, taking confidence from Sirius, also grabbed Lily. The redhead screamed and kicked as she pleased, but nothing made him let go. And when she was too high up, she stopped struggling, because she didn't want to fall.

"Potter! Put me down! And don't just drop me!"

"Nope, you're joining me in si-i-i-inging!"

"_I believe I can fly,_   
_I believe I can touch the sky,_   
_Thought about it every Quidditch game,_   
_Put my broom under me and flew away_."

They stayed like this for several more minutes until... the potion wore off.

"Uh oh," James said edgily, glancing at Sirius. It was like one of those cartoon moments, where the character stays in mid-air until they realise they are no longer floatable -- and then they fall.

"_And I wonder why, why I'm falling (into a cake)_   
_And I wonder why, I'm off the ground_   
_Don't you ask me why, we're having icing covering us,_   
_Cause I'm falling_."

The girls were screaming like mad.

Sirius and Penny both fell _SPLAT_ into a large cake that Dumbledore (the teachers had been watching them with amusement) had conjured up upon their falling--spluttering cream on everyone on the Hufflepuff table.

Lily and James fell into a huge bowl of ice cream that Dumbledore had also conjured up.

"ARGGHHH!" Lily screamed incredibly high-pitched, "It's _cold_! It flippin' stings!"

"It's called _ICE _cream for a reason!" James pointed out, grinning in a terrified way.

"I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEAS!" Lily yelled, before slipping out of the giant ice cream bowl and stalking as dignified as she could back to the Gryffindor table.

"Wow, Lils, that was incredible!" Emily squealed like a little girl, "I so wanna do that! Didja have fun, huh, huh, _huh_?"

"If you consider floating above a thousand students, being carried by a _pratball_ and listening to him screech Muggle songs fun, then yeah," Lily said sarcastically.

"Hehe, it sure looked fun," Meddy chimed in, using a spell to clean Lily up.

Penny joined them afterward, covered in cake crumbs and blue icing. Sirius and James had been called by Professor McGonagall, probably receiving _delightful_-record-breaking-detentions right this minute.

Ignoring the odd looks people were giving them, the girls resumed back to their lunch. Lily, though she would never ever admit it to any living soul on the planet, _did _actually have fun when James grabbed her and pulled her up and around the ceiling...

----------

A/N: OMJ (jelly) FINALLY FINISHED! I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update! I tried my best, really. My friend and I had thought up of a plot (the flying bit) and I _had _planned to write a notepassing chapter. But it took me awhile to put it down in words cause I wanted it to be good. Anyway, thank you sooo much for reading! Yes, I play FF8 and love it to pieces, for those who are going to ask. :)

Songs sung by our fave two-- _Rise Up (Aust. Idol, Final 12--2003)_. _I'm Like A Bird (Nelly Furtado). I Believe I Can Fly (R. Kelly). Falling (Candice Alley)._

**Some of the lyrics were changed (obviously), but the tune/other lyrics have been kept the same. **By the way, I know they all didn't exist back then, but hey, I'm living in the 21st century here! Leave me be. :)

The title of the chapter actually says: Muggle Songs And Notepassing in a demented way. Hehe. :) Bye bye! xoxo

--MSQ.


	16. Christmas Extravaganza

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Sixteen ll Christmas Extravaganza**

----------

"You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to _to-o-o-own_."

Several people turned to look and see who were the people singing so... _loudly_.

"He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's gonna find out whose naughty or nice, Santa Claus is coming to _to-o-o-own_."

Those several aforementioned people lost interest and went back to what they had been originally doing when they saw Lily Evans and Emily Walkerdon. They had their arms linked and were skipping around while belting out the words to "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town." They had Santa Claus (Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, big-fat-jolly-guy-who-falls-down-chimneys) hats upon their shiny heads, and silver and gold tinsel glimmering around their necks.

Penny and Meddy, who were returning back from a library trip, hid behind their hands and slowly side-walked towards their friends.

"No. _No_," Meddy said half-firmly, half-devastated, "You _cannot_ go carolling again. For Merlin's sake, you're seventeen! You should've grown out of this stage by now!"

Emily Looked at her, rolled her eyes and began to imitate Meddy, " 'You're eleven, for Merlin's sake! You're twelve-years-old, you shouldn't grown out of this by now! You're _thirteen_! You're fourteen, it's a little childish for you!'--"

Lily continued, " 'You're fifteen, now! You're _sixteen_, grow up a little!' "

Meddy just smiled at them, "And every year, you never listen."

"Exactly!" Emily said loftily, "I'm gonna go carolling every year 'till the day I die!" 

Meddy and Penny groaned.

"Anyway, why not?" Lily said heartily, fiddling with her sparkly tinsel, "It's fun as."

Emily nodded in agreement, "Here, Pen--hold this first..."

Penny looked mollified as her twin pushed two candles into her arms.

"Ahh, I'm not going to be set on fire, am I?"

"Honestly, Pen," Emily rolled her eyes again.

It was Christmas Eve, and about time too. It had been two days since Sirius and James' outburst of flying around the Great Hall, and they were still finishing off their week's worth of detentions.

"Can we... _puh-lease_ go to the feast?" Meddy begged. The beautiful smell of turkey, roast potatoes and other delicious foods wafting out of the Great Hall was making her dizzy.

"Yeah!" Lily said cheerfully, "Just wait--" She finally managed to put on her exquisite Christmas earrings (little golden bells with glittery tiny holly) and turned to Emily, "Then afterwards, we can go carolling!"

Meddy and Penny sighed while their two friends high-fived and squealed. They seemed to have some sort of obsession with Christmas carols.

They walked in the Great Hall, which was a sight to behold. It was decorated with holly, mistletoe, tinsel, about fifty Christmas trees, and the usual floating candles had holly hung around them; some very thin string, almost like spider silk, held up bells and Christmas ornaments.

"Wow, it's so pretty," Lily breathed, her emerald eyes alight.

Emily was speechless as she looked around in awe.

The other two could've cared less if the Great Hall was under attack by goblins, as long as they were able to eat the delicious Christmas Feast.

Penny and Meddy raced to the far left end of the Gryffindor table, where they usually sat, and occupied the bench. Then they began piling their plates sky high with food.

Lily joined them with a disgusted look on her face.

"You two are like Potter and Sirius at times," she remarked distastefully as she sat down.

Meddy chose to ignore this remark.

"Lil, how are you going to eat with that on?" Meddy asked sweetly. She was talking about the thick band of tinsel hung around Lily's neck.

"I'll have no problem with that as I am not in any sort of eating competition..."

Penny looked up and grinned, "It's such good food."

"So I've heard..."

Emily then joined them, with some extra decorations in her hair, and they ate in harmony.

"Happy Christmas!"

Someone put their hands over Lily's eyes.

Cold, clammy hands.

"AH!" Lily jumped and knocked over a jug of pumpkin juice, "Uh..."

Meddy quickly jumped up to right the jug and Penny began to mop up the spilt juice.

The person uncovered Lily's eyes, and the redhead turned to see Amos Diggory, her... boyfriend.

Man, that sounded weird.

"Hi!" he said brightly. Then he looked around and a dark look crossed his face, "Where's _Potter_?"

"Err, I dunno," Lily said, a little confused. Since when did Amos care about James? It was all a little... odd. She was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to hear the next part of Amos' little rant, but she heard it anyway.

"...ooh, away with Black, hey... choose _him_ but not me, what's so bad about me...? I have the looks, the brains, the skill... what has Black got that I don't? Not enough _Golden Snitches_, huh... ooh, my poor mistress, if she could see who poor Amos is up against..." he muttered under his breath.

Lily decided he was terminally insane, but said nothing. She was about to ask him how he was but he started muttering again.

"...not only does he not choose me, he tries to take my girlfriend... no, no, no, my poor mistress, if only she could help Amos... Amos is in need of her help..."

Lily always thought people who spoke of themselves in the third person were a little touched in the head, but this was really, really retarded.

"So, um, Amos," she said awkwardly, "How... are you?"

Amos smiled with a sudden startledness, "I'm good, what about you?"

Before Lily could answer, the double doors flew open and horrible singing could be heard all around.

"Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king!"

Upon recognising the voices, Lily proceeded to hide her face. Amos suddenly scowled and stalked back to the Hufflepuff table angrily. Well, _someone's_ in a bad temper!

"Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners, reconciled..."

"Potter, Black," spat Severus Snape from the Slytherin table, "I thought that your little karaoke two days ago would have brought you to your senses: You can't SING."

"Shut up Snape, or I'll wash your hair," Sirius sang.

"Joyful all ye nations rise--"

"--join the triumph of the skies--"

The two best friends looked at each other and, with gigantic grins, took a deep breath to bellow out the next line.

"WITH ANGELIC HOSTS..."

James and Sirius continued to mouth words, but nothing could be heard.

"I am _so _glad we got taught the Silencing Charm in fifth year," Lily muttered, pocketing her wand.

Meddy and the twins laughed.

After a bit more singing and realising that no sound was coming out, Sirius and James headed over to where the girls were.

"Hello!" Emily said brightly, the bells in her hair jingling slightly.

Sirius frowned at her and pointed at his mouth.

Penny giggled, "Speechless, eh?"

James tugged on Lily's sleeve gently and looked at her with innocent hazel eyes.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked teasingly. James aimed a finger at his mouth.

"You've got to promise no more singing."

James shook his head vigorously.

"Okay," Lily said loftily, and she turned away from him, "Then you had better start learning sign language."

Remus came up to them, looking flustered.

"There you guys are!" he said indignantly, glaring at James and Sirius. He mopped his sweaty eyebrow with a handkerchief, "Pete and I were looking _everywhere_ for you. And to find you here, enjoying the Christmas Feast!"

Sirius gestured at Remus and pointed at his mouth.

"What, too much food in your mouth to talk?" Remus asked irritably. He looked quite annoyed. He slumped into a seat next to Lily.

"Actually, they burst into the Great Hall singing 'Hark The Herald Angels Sing', and Lily decided that their vocal chords could use a little more training. So she saved them from further embarrassment by casting the Silencing Charm," explained Meddy casually.

"Oh."

Remus stared at his two friends.

"Right."

James and Sirius were now glaring at Lily, obviously thinking or trying to say, "So _you_ did it?!"

"What's with you two and singing, anyway?" Remus asked, while helping himself to a chicken leg.

Sirius shrugged just as Peter came running up to them, panting and obviously pleased that he had something to complain about.

"Where were you two?" he asked in a shrilly voice, glaring up at Sirius and James, "Remus and I were looking _everywhere_--"

"We know, Peter," everyone chorused at once, not bothering to look at him.

Peter looked rather taken-aback, and sat down in a huff. Then he saw all the food, which put him out of his temper.

"You know," Penny said, returning back to the conversation, "Maybe you two can join Em and Lily in carolling. They're going after dinner. You could take me and Med's places. We don't enjoy carolling very much."

Sirius and James' eyes lit up.

"What?!" exclaimed Lily, glaring at Penny, who smiled back at her calmly. She knew this was her payback for dragging her and Meddy carolling for the past six years.

"You can't do that!" Lily said indignantly, "They don't even have good voices!"

James nudged her angrily and Sirius crossed his arms, pretending to be offended.

She ignored them.

"It's not about how good they are," Meddy said, with a grin on her face, "It's to have fun and show Christmas spirit. It's to spread the happy Christmas feeling all around!"

Lily glared at them. That was _her_ line. She had used it on Meddy and Penny in first-year when they both tried to escape form carolling by claiming they had terrible singing voices.

"Anyway, we have our essays to finish. And you know how much you hate it when we don't get our homework done on time."

"But it's Christmas! You're not supposed to burden yourselves with essays," Lily retaliated.

"Well, we are now," Meddy answered with a shrug.

"Can you please give them back their voices?" Remus asked the huffy Lily, "I don't think they're going to survive any longer without them."

"Fine," Lily complied reluctantly with a sigh. She took out her wand and murmured a spell while looking at James and Sirius.

"Finally!" James exclaimed, sitting down, "Hark the herald angels sing..."

"...glory to the newborn king..." Sirius joined in.

Lily directed her wand at them again.

"Save it for later."

---

_"You get prettier after every summer. Did you know that, Evans?"_

_FLASH._

_"I deserve a kiss now!"_

_FLASH._

_"Did you enjoy our first date?"_

_FLASH._

_"How would you know what's right or not? Love could standing right in front of you and you're just ignoring it!"_

_FLASH._

_"You know, even though someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."_

_FLASH._

_"I'm sorry."_

_FLASH._

_"I want to hug you."_

_FLASH._

_"You're really... beautiful."_

_FLASH._

_"I love you, Lily. Why did Amos have to get you first...?"_

_FLASH._

_"I love you, Lily..."_

_"I love you, Lily..."_

_"I love you, Lily..."_

_FLASH._

Lily awoke with a start. She sat bolt right up and tried to steady her breathing. She had beads of sweat on her forehead.

She tried to recall her dream... it had been really weird... Someone's voice kept echoing in her head.

She checked her alarm clock.

6:37AM. Too early for anybody else to be up.

Lily sighed and ruffled her messy red hair. She then yawned as the big pile of presents at the end of her bed caught her eye. She smiled. She _could_ just open them quietly and get a head start, but it was never fun to open presents by yourself. She decided to wait for the others to wake up at 7:00AM (their usual present-opening time) before opening them.

Deciding she couldn't sleep, Lily got up and pulled on her dressing gown. She picked up her favourite book and headed down to the common-room to grab her favourite armchair.

The snow was falling lightly outside and she paused at the stairs to look out the window. She went down the last few steps and stopped short.

What she saw made her blood run cold.

James was on the sofa, heartily snogging another girl. At (Lily checked the mantelpiece clock) 6:41 in the morning!

What a jerk.

She turned away, slightly disappointed and feeling a little... hurt. If James liked her as much as he claimed, then why did he go ahead and snog some random early Christmas morning?

Lily trudged back upstairs and collapsed onto her four-poster bed. She closed her eyes.

The girl... Lily knew her vaguely. She had waist-length brown hair that had the most beautiful and natural-looking golden streaks running through it. They glimmered in the sunlight like gems.

What was her name? It started with a K... that was all Lily knew. And she was also a seventh-year Ravenclaw.

_I wonder what she was doing in the Gryffindor common-room. James let her in, no doubt._

Lily didn't understand why she felt this way. She now understood and felt a little more sympathetic towards those always-heart aching girls in her trashy romance novels that were confused at their feelings ALL THE TIME.

She now knew how they felt.

Confused, yes.

Extremely confused.

WHY DID SHE FEEL SO HURT OVER JAMES SNOGGING A GIRL?

It's not like she _liked_ him, or anything...

Coughcough.

_I have a boyfriend, for Merlin's sake! Don't think about James. He doesn't deserve someone like me. Man, I sound so uptight and snobbish. Who cares?_

So she looked into her mirror and put on a fake smile, just as her friends began to wake up.

"Merry Christmas!" Lily said in an abnormally cheerful voice.

Fortunately, the others were too happy at the prospect of Christmas morning to realise how fake her voice was.

"Happy Christmas, Lily!"

"Let's open our pressies!"

The twins and Meddy began tearing open their presents. Lily picked up a parcel from her parents and began peeling the reindeer-patterned wrapping paper off slowly.

"Say, do any of you know that seventh-year girl in Ravenclaw? She has really long brown hair, and blonde streaks," Lily said casually, while admiring the beautiful antique glass animals her parents had sent her.

"Uhh, be more specific," Meddy said, holding up a knitted sweater distastefully, "Honestly, every year... Grams should get the idea..."

"Her name's like, Kala or something," Lily continued, and cocked her head to one side as she surveyed a present, "Okay, Petunia gave me a plastic bracelet... It must've been hers' at one point."

"Seventh-year Ravenclaw?" Meddy repeated vaguely, while thanking Penny for the huge box of fudge, "Oh, you must mean Kiara Livingstone! I was paired with her once in some random class. She's really nice and sweet. Pretty, too."

Lily's heart sunk at every word.

"Why do you wanna know?" Meddy asked, surveying her friend.

"Oh," Lily said, thinking fast, "I thought I saw her yesterday when we went carolling and she looked a little familiar."

"Okay..."

The girls giggled and chattered away, comparing and thanking each other for their presents.

Suddenly, their dormitory door flew open, and a little girl with red hair appeared at the doorway.

"Lily!" the little girl cried, and flew up to the bewildered Head ?"

---

James continued to snog Kiara Livingstone heartily, until he heard a present "Ahem."

He immediately broke off and saw that the portrait hole was open. There were two people standing right in front of him. Oh, make that three. A little girl with red hair was hiding behind an unfamiliar woman with blonde hair.

"Good morning, professor," James said in what he hoped was a cheery and innocent voice.

Professor McGonagall just narrowed her eyes

"Potter, Miss Livingstone," the teacher frowned at Kiara, who squirmed beside James.

He knew he was dead. He was going to receive _another_ detention, for allowing Kiara in the Gryffindor common-room. And he still had to finish his week's worth of ones with Sirius for flying around the Great Hall.

"This is the Gryffindor common-room," Professor McGonagall said warmly to the visitors; the lady and what James assumed to be her daughter.

"It's very nice," the blonde woman replied with a nice smile.

"Mr. Potter is in Gryffindor, Miss Livingstone in _Ravenclaw_."

Kiara took the hint and quickly ran out of the Gryffindor common-room, shooting back an apologetic glance at James.

He inwardly sighed and surveyed the visitors as Professor McGonagall began to drone off. He looked at the little girl who was barely visible because she was hiding behind her mother.

Then he froze. The girl looked _very _familiar.

She had bright red hair that fell past her shoulders. She was very short and looked to be about five-years-old. James surveyed her clothes. Muggle clothes, very nice Muggle clothes.

But what triggered James was not her clothes, but her eyes. They were emerald green... exactly like... like...

Lily's.

It hit James. This little girl looked _exactly_ like Lily. A younger version, perhaps.

James then switched his glance at the lady, while McGonagall continued to talk to her. She also had the same emerald green eyes, but her hair wasn't red. Her body frame was petite like Lily's, and some of her facial features matched hers as well.

Could this be... Lily's family?

"...your daughter is upstairs in the girls dormitory," Professor McGonagall was telling the lady.

"Oh, okay," the woman smiled. The smile resembled Lily's.

"Mr. Potter, can you take Cosima up to Miss Evan's dormitory?" McGonagall asked kindly, "I daresay you know where it is." The merest flicker of a smile crossed her face.

James gulped; _she knew_. Oh well, at least Kiara hadn't been there to hear it.

"Professor," James said meekly, "Boys aren't allowed up to the girls' dormitories. You know, for... private reasons."

Professor McGonagall flicked her wand and murmured something, "Go up and come back down in five minutes. If you don't, well I'm afraid you'll slide back down. _Again_."

"Cossie, I'll see you very soon," the lady said to her daughter, bending down to hug the small figure.

"Mummy," she whimpered, clutching tightly onto the skirt of her mother's dress.

Her mother kissed her gently on the forehead and pried her daughter's fingers off her, "You'll be with Lily, sweetie."

"Thank you," she smiled warmly at James, as he came forward awkwardly.

"No problem," he said, hitching a charming smile.

The little girl looked up at James with wide green eyes. He was reminded uncomfortably of Lily's hot temper.

"Five minutes, Potter," reminded McGonagall. Then she left the common-room with the little girl's mother.

"Soo..." James said slowly, as they both began walking towards the stairs, "What's your name?"

"Cosima," the owner of the name said pointedly. She didn't seem so shy anymore.

"Oh, well I'm James Potter," he said in a friendly voice.

Cosima smiled up at him, "I think I know you," she said in her cute and undeveloped voice.

"You do?" James said, puzzled.

"Yup," Cosima nodded as they continued to climb up the stairs, "My sister came home one day complainin' 'bout you."

"And who's your sister?" James said, arching an eyebrow.

"Lily Evans," Cosima said proudly, "She's Head Girl."

_Wow this kid is smart. Just like her sister, I suppose._

"I'm Head Boy," James said decisively.

"Really?" Cosima seemed puzzled, "Is that like how Mummy is Mummy and Daddy is Daddy?"

"Perhaps. I'm going to marry your sister one day," James said with a proud smile, "Just don't tell her I said that."

Cosima grinned secretively, "Okay! Will she wanna marry you?"

James feigned shock, "Who _wouldn't_ want to marry me?"

Cosima giggled, "I dunno... Lily can be awfully silly sometimes."

"I reckon."

"But you don't wanna marry her, right?"

James was taken-aback, "What makes you think that?" He had spent a few years chasing after that redhead, why _wouldn't_ he want to marry her? He smiled at the thought and swore he heard marriage bells above his head.

Man, now he was hearing things.

"You were kissing that other girl," Cosima explained innocently, looking up at him with wide green eyes.

Slightly embarrassed, James said, "Well, I made a mistake, okay?" Truth was, he had made a HUGE mistake. He had just felt like a good snog. Nothing wrong with that, right?

...Wrong.

Cosima stared at him for a moment, then said, "You're a nice person. I dunno why Lily doesn't like you."

James smiled at her, "Neither do I. Okay, well, we're here."

Cosima stared at the shut dormitory door. They heard some giggling and squealing coming from inside.

"I think they're opening their presents," James said shiftily.

"Are you coming in with me?" she asked abruptly.

"Ahh... umm... okay then," James said uncomfortably, nervously glancing at the door.

"My bag is flying!" Cosima suddenly shrieked happily, pointing up.

His eyes widening, James turned around and almost tripped over his own feet when he saw a medium-sized pink suitcase floating inches behind his head.

"Your... bag? Oh, right. Here, I'll get it--" he reached up and grabbed the suitcase, forcing it down. The levitating spell immediately broke and James put it down on the floor.

"Thanks!" Cosima grinned. Then she pushed the dorm door open and bounded in, screeching, while James followed in reluctantly with her suitcase that weighed a tonne.

---

A dazed Lily looked down at the mass of red hair in her arms, trying to register what was happening. Then she glanced over at the other person standing sheepishly at the door. It was James. He gave her a half-smile when she caught his eye.

Lily quickly looked back down at the small figure still in her arms.

"COSIMA!" Penny yelled enthusiastically, leaping up and causing wrapping paper to fly everywhere, "So lovely to see you again, my little dear!" 

Finally, Lily understood that her younger sister was hugging her and squealed whilst hugging her back, "Cosima! What are you doing here?"

"Mummy told me to give this to you!" Cosima said simply, after running over to James, rummaging through her suitcase and taking out an envelope, "And Daddy and Mummy send hugs an' kisses too..."

Whilst Lily's friends took it in turns to hug Cosima, Lily read the letter.

_Dearest Lily,_

_Hi sweetheart. Happy Christmas! I know this may be a bit confusing for you, but everything can be explained. Your father and I have been offered two first class tickets to Paris, and this is for his job, so we couldn't refuse it. Anyhow, we wouldn't refuse it even if it wasn't for his job!_

_We're sorry dear, I know we had planned to all spend Christmas at home together, but this came up. So I sent a letter to you a week ago, telling you that we couldn't have you home. We thought we had your sisters all worked out. Petunia was going to spend Christmas at her friends' house, and Cosima would be going to the Johasson's._

_But the Johasson's grandma had a heart attack, and everyone is at the hospital, staying overnight. The hospital is no place for small children. Their daughter, Selena, has been sent across town to her aunt's house. Mrs. Johasson said that her sister wouldn't mind if Cosima also came, but I decided to refuse the offer. I've heard that they're having family problems and I didn't want to interfere._

_I racked my brains to see what I could do with Cos, but nothing worked out. Finally, I owled Mr. (Professor?) Dumbledore, explaining my situation, and he said he would be delighted if Cosima came to spend Christmas with you at Hogwarts. I asked Cos first, who was perfectly happy with this idea, and took up on Mr. Dumbledore's offer._

_So here is Cosima; please take care of her. I know you think all that magic stuff is fun, but it can also be dangerous. Keep her away from spells, please do not perform magic in front of her, and under no circumstances are you to let her out of your sight._

_We will come back in a fortnight to take Cosima home, and this will also give Daddy and me a chance to see you again before Easter!_

_Happy Christmas!_

_Love, Mum._   
_(Rosemary Evans)_

Lily narrowed her eyes at her mother's list of "do not"s. Honestly, just a tad bit of magic wouldn't kill her baby sister. Anyway, Cosima was a strong girl.

Cosima suddenly yawned.

"I'm so--so tired," she announced, her eyes droopy.

"C'mon, you wanna go to bed?" Lily asked gently, stroking Cosima's red hair, so like her own.

"Y--yeah," Cosima stifled another yawn. Lily led her to the fifth four-poster bed that was unoccupied. Their dormitory only ever had four girls in it, for some odd reason or other.

" 'Night Lily, Meddy... Penny 'an Emmy--" Emily giggled, "--an' you too, James..." Cosima's eyes closed and she started breathing deeply.

"It's Christmas morning, but good night," Meddy replied cheerily.

James was still standing at the doorway, staring at Lily and Cosima. With a sigh, Lily approached him.

"Thanks for... bringing her up here," she said awkwardly. She might've been warmer towards him, but seeing him snog that Kiara girl was still preying on her mind.

"It's okay. She's... she's a cute kid," James said lamely.

Lily smiled.

"Yeah... I've missed her. I'm so glad she's here."

"She looks just like you," James said sincerely.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're wrong. She's much more developed in the looks department," she said simply, turning her back to him and walking back to her bed.

James frowned after her, wondering what in the name of Merlin she meant.

---

Cosima skipped ahead, her ankles deep in the snow. She grinned and chased after a couple of bluebirds that were singing merrily in the frost.

"Hey Cos! Wait up!" Lily yelled.

A special Hogsmeade trip had been arranged especially for Christmas Day, and Cosima had been allowed to attend, since she wasn't an actual student at Hogwarts, and therefore didn't have to wait until she was a third-year to be allowed to visit the beautiful village.

Anyway, Cosima wasn't a witch. Dumbledore had told Lily so himself when she went to ask him whether or not anyone else in her family might actually have magical blood in them.

"Neat snow," Penny said conversationally, jumping up and flinging a branch.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Emily screamed as the snow from the flinging branch fell on her.

"Oops."

Sirius was still in shock as he kept switching his gaze from Lily to Cosima, "Oh my God, they could be, like, twins!"

"Except for the fact that one's seventeen and the other's like five," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

Lily raced up ahead and caught her sister in her arms, making her squeal and giggle.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts," Lily and Cosima were now singing together, "There they are a-standing in a row!"

"Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head," Penny, Em and Meddy joined in.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Sirius suddenly yelled.

Lily felt something frosty smash on the back of her head.

"Urgh!" she exclaimed. She bent down, rolled up some snow and chucked it back at Sirius. Of course, he ducked, so it hit Penny instead. That's always how food fights/snow wars start.

Penny grabbed a fistful of snow and pelted it back at Lily. Lily squealed and pushed Remus in front of her, so he received a glopful of snow in his face. James, who was skilled at making snowballs, threw three at Emily.

Everyone was screaming, laughing and yelling. It was pure pandemonium.

Cosima squealed as Meddy sprinkled snow over her head.

"HEY!" James yelled, bending down, "NO ONE HIT ME... I'M GETTING REINFORCEMENTS..."

"Everyone hit him!" Sirius bellowed, and they all directed their aim at James.

_SMASH._

James bellowed and yelled, trying to defend himself. He ended up falling over, causing everyone to laugh.

"That was so _not fair_!" James scoffed, getting to his feet, "Just for that, you're all gonna pay!"

Everyone shrieked and screamed, running away and diving for cover. James managed to hit all of them at least twice with his powerful snowballs.

Then they continued their snow war.

Emily and Lily both had their arms raised, snowballs in their hands. They stared at each other.

"You throw that at _me_, I throw this at _you_," Lily said dangerously, with a grin on her face.

"Correction, _you_ throw that at _me_, _I_ throw this at _you_."

"Nuh, actually, _you_ throw _that_--"

"Ahh, cut the talk, just throw!" James said joyfully, smashing snow on Lily's head.

Lily shivered before she smashed her snowball on James' face.

"Potter, not on my head," she said through clenched teeth.

"_Not on my face_," James said, imitating her.

He got even more snow for that.

"Evans, you shall pay for that," James said in a playfully dangerous voice.

Lily ducked as a snow-cannon-ball whipped over her head.

"Emily!" she shrieked, "_He-e-e-elp_!"

The redhead dived behind a log as James threw another one of his special snow-cannon-balls at her.

"No worries," Emily said cheerfully. She began shoving and pushing the snow on the ground, "We'll build a wall of protection!"

Lily rolled her eyes, shrieked, and pulled Emily in front of her as more snow came flying towards her direction.

Emily squeezed her eyes shut as the snow slid off her face, and she turned to Lily, "Lily, I no longer shall be your shield," and she scattered off.

James had rolled up a huge snowball and he was now advancing towards Lily, looking quite evil.

"COSIMA!" Lily screamed at her little sister desperately.

Cosima looked around and spotted James.

"HEY!" she yelled. She ran up to him and pounced on him. Caught unawares, James fell back onto the snow-covered ground. Cosima, grinning triumphantly, got off him and trotted towards Lily who had walked over.

"Good one, Cos!" she said brightly, high-fiving her younger sister.

Cosima grinned even more.

Remus was laughing as he helped James up.

"Like sister, like sister."

"That sounded weird," Penny giggled.

"I reckon," Meddy said, shivering. She looked drenched; obviously some of the snow had melted on her.

"Let's get a Butterbeer or two," suggested Remus sensibly, "Before the Three Broomsticks gets too crowded..."

Everyone agreed to this immediately, and started to wipe off the snow on their clothes. Cosima sneezed several times. Groaning, Lily went over to her and wrapped the purple scarf around her tighter.

"Are you all right? Ooh, mum's going to kill me if you're sick," Lily muttered. She took off her own beanie and yanked it on Cosima's head. It slid over her eyes.

"Don't be stupid, you'll get a cold," James said firmly. He picked up the beanie and tossed it back to Lily, before taking off his scarf and wrapping it turban-style around Cosima's head. The girl giggled.

"Potter--" Lily sighed.

"I'll be fine, and more importantly, _you two'll_ be fine," with that James scooped Cosima up and gave her a piggy-back ride. Cosima giggled gleefully and yelled, "Faster, faster!" James ran ahead.

Lily watched them and sighed.

"Don't worry, Cosima will be safe," Sirius said, looking ahead with an amused smile on his face.

"I hope so," Lily muttered.

They trudged along and entered the cheery pub that was crowded. The pub was decorated with holly and tinsel, and a huge Christmas tree stood near the entrance.

"Happy Christmas!" Madam Nalina said cheerily to them as they settled in their table, "And what will it be today, m'dears?"

"Well," Sirius said with the most charming smile he could hitch, "We would like... the usual. Three of your special hot chocolates and five Butterbeers. Oh, wait. Cosima, what would you like?"

"Hot chocolate!" she piped up, but she seemed quite tired.

"So four hot chocolates?" Madam Nalina inquired.

"Yup. Cough up, everyone," Sirius said as the group distributed Galleons and Sickles and Knuts. He gathered them up and handed them to Madam Nalina, who promptly thanked him and walked off to get the drinks.

Cosima looked a bit feverish and her eyes began to droop.

"Cosima, are you feeling all right?" Lily asked, concerned, "Do you feel sick?"

The small girl shook her head, but she closed her eyes and her breathing became heavier. Lily felt her forehead. It was burning up.

"Mum will murder me," the redhead muttered, taking off her jacket and covering Cosima with it.

"These hot chocolates will work wonder on her," James reassured, as Madam Nalina came over with a tray of Butterbeers, hot chocolates and a special dish of her famous chocolate eclairs, "They're pure magic."

Cosima opened her eyes. Her face was flushed badly.

"I want some hot chocolate..." she whispered.

Before Lily could reach over and pick up the delicate china glass, James had already snatched it and was passing it to Cosima. She took it a long drink, then rested her head against Lily's shoulder and breathed heavily.

In a few moments, she was asleep.

"She'll be fine," James murmured, passing another hot chocolate to Lily.

"Yeah," Meddy reassured, "So, dudes, what did you get for Christmas?" This, of course, caused an uproar as Sirius began to laugh--no, _giggle_--at Meddy addressing them as "dudes", and Remus (for some odd reason) began to sing, "O Ye Merry Hippogriff", and Penny started having a competition with Emily on who could shove their entire fist in their mouth.

Half an hour later, the group decided to leave the Three Broomsticks. Lily gently woke Cosima up and James offered to give her a piggy-back ride. They covered the small redhead with a coat, while the others watched afar and cooed how they looked like parents fussing over their child.

'Twas quite funny, actually.

Sirius, who was at the front, grasped onto the door handle and jerked it open.

A rumble of snow caved in. The entrance was completely caked with snow.

Sirius spat out a few snow bits from his mouth and wiped the whiteness off himself.

"Well this is bright," he said cheerily, "We're snowed in."

Several people screamed.

"It's no screaming matter, _cherie_," Sirius said fondly at the screaming customers, "You won't die. Unless, like, this place burns down. Wow, wouldn't that be cool. 'Cause like, the fire would melt the snow, and then there'd be a tidal wave, and then... we'd drown! And burn! Man, isn't that such a cool death? When I grow up, I wanna die that way."

"You're an idiot."

"I know." 

"Can't we just magick our way out of here?" Meddy asked exasperatedly, while James slipped Cosima back onto the puffy chair.

"I wouldn't think so," Remus said sensibly, "The snow's too thick. Our only hope is for the Ministry to find out soon, which won't take too long. They keep a certain eye on things that happen in wizarding areas."

The girls sighed.

"So," Penny said dully, "What can we do?"

"Let's play WA--"

"If you say 'WAR' again, I will strangle you," Penny said calmly to Sirius.

Sirius pouted, then his face brightened up.

"I KNOW, I KNOW! Truth or dare!" he said wildly, looking around devilishly.

They all glanced at each other and shrugged, and some of the other people in the Three Broomsticks watched them in interest.

"As long as you don't wake Cos up," Lily warned, and they nodded.

"I'm going first!" Sirius said enthusiastically, and turned to Lily, who, unfortunately for her, was sitting beside him.

"Lillers! Truth or dare?!"

"Dare," Lily said promptly, although she knew Sirius' dares were often lethal.

"I dare you to sit in Jamsie's lap for the rest of the game," Sirius said innocently.

Lily stared at him, got up haughtily and propped herself in James' lap.

"Why, hello pumpkin," James said pleasantly, wrapping his arms around her waist. Lily turned her head and glared at him, but made no movement to resist his grip.

After a few more dares, which resulted with Penny wearing a pink tutu and ballet shoes, Remus with a carrot for a nose, and Emily's legs tap dancing endlessly, it was time for James' fate.

"Truth or dare," Emily said breathlessly, as she was still dancing merrily away, "_Damn_ these things, how come I couldn't have you when I tried out ballet, _huh_...?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to... kiss Lily!"

Lily glared at her before she shifted uncomfortably in James' lap.

"Su-u-u-ure," James said sweetly, "Ready?"

"As ready as I'm ever gonna be," Lily sighed, though she was secretly admiring James' hazel eyes.

James leant in and kissed her as gently and sweetly as ever, as though he was afraid he might hurt her.

_Why do I have to be so weak against his kisses...?_

He broke off and tightened his grip on Lily's waist, making her shiver slightly. She looked over to check that was Cosima was still asleep.

"Truth or dare?" James asked Meddy, as if nothing had happened.

As Meddy began the dare James had given her, he pulled Lily closer to him and whispered into her ear, "I bet you liked that kiss."

"You wish," she murmured back, while her heart began pounding faster.

"Yeah, I do," James murmured with a smile on his face. He pulled her even closer in and kissed her cheek.

"I hate you," Lily muttered serenely.

"Sure you do," James chuckled, as the others continued on with the game, "But I know deep down you love me, pumpkin. You hurt the ones you love, after all."

"Yeah, right," Lily scoffed.

_I think you're right..._

---

"I feel so refreshed," Emily announced, dropping into an armchair in the common-room.

"Yeah, being snowed in the Three Broomsticks for an hour wasn't as fun as expected," Sirius said with a small sigh. He had an arm around Penny and was staring up at the ceiling.

They were all sprawled out in the common-room. Cosima had had a visit to the Hospital Wing, and Lily was told to put her in bed immediately after dinner. It was almost midnight and they had the common-room all to themselves.

"Christmas is over," Meddy said in a sad voice.

"Boxing Day is tomorrow," Lily said in a fake cheerful voice. She hated the end of Christmas. She needed to wait another three-hundred-and-sixty-five days for it to come again.

"Still..."

They all sighed.

"I'm... so... tired..." Lily said sleepily, her head drooping. She closed her eyes and laid her head on James' shoulder, falling into a sound sleep.

James was surprised, but smiled sheepishly and put an arm around the redheaded girl's head.

----------

A/N: There... you... go! That was so hard to write. Lol. Anyway, please accept that as my Christmas present to you guys. A heart-warming, fluffy, LONG Christmas chappie!! I hope you all enjoyed it! I'm sorry it took me forever to update, it's because, as mentioned before, it was really hard to write this and of course I've been busy, being Christmas and all. Au revoir, m'_cherie_! :) Read Chocolat, 'tis a cool book. Thanks Julz for letting me borrow it! --MSQ.


	17. Bring It On

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**_Please Note:_** _Hello everyone. In this story, James will be a Chaser. I know, I know, many of you will yell at me and say he was Seeker since Harry was one. To tell you the truth, I DON'T CARE. The movie was as inaccurate as anything, and I don't intend on following it. In the book, according to my wonderful friend, it doesn't mention anything about what position James played. J.K. Rowling also mentioned in an interview (where the interviewer very clearly asked "WHAT POSITION DID JAMES POTTER PLAY IN QUIDDITCH") that James was a CHASER._

_NOW PLEASE STOP TELLING ME JAMES WAS A SEEKER. If you mention so in a review, I will BURN IT WITH ZIGZAG'S LIGHTER!!!_

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Seventeen ll Bring It On**

----------

"Damn--damn--damn--damn--damn--damn--damn--_damn_!" Lily cursed repetitively (under her breath of course, it wouldn't do for students to see the Head Girl repetitively curse) as she rushed to the prefect common-room. There was to be a meeting conducted there, and she, of course, had to be present.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'M LATE!!" she shrilled to herself, sounding like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.

It was only a few days since the end of Christmas break, and Cosima had been returned home in one piece. She was a little sick, causing Mrs. Evans to scold Lily a little, but other than that, everything was fine.

"ARGH!" Lily screeched irritably as she was quite literally knocked back. She fell onto the ground with a thud, and moaned.

"_Owww_."

The person who had knocked her over offered their hand, "Watch where you're going, pumpkin."

"Potter," Lily spat in annoyance, getting to her feet.

"Your hair's all messed up," James said teasingly, smoothing down her hair.

She slapped his hand away.

"Are you ever planning to go to the Prefect meeting?" James asked sweetly.

"I'm going now!" Lily said irritably. She turned and began rushing down the corridor, but stopped abruptly and turned back around.

"_He-e-e-e-y_, aren't you supposed to be there?" she asked, frowning.

"Bingo! I was sent to look for you," James paused, "Because, you know... you're _LATE_!"

Lily narrowed her eyes, "Fine. But I'm not letting you have the glory of the other prefects thinking you found me... Because I was _already on my way_!" She flashed a sarcastic smile and ran off.

"LILY!" James yelled after her, shocked that she was so _evil_.

Lily burst into the prefect common-room, gasping for air with one hand over her heart.

"We should honestly conjure up oxygen tanks," Professor Dumbledore said seriously as everyone else stared at her.

"I'm--so--so--sorry," Lily panted, leaning against the doorjamb. She looked as if she was about to die.

James barged in at that moment, causing Lily to scream and topple over again.

"I'm s--sorry, I f--found her, but sh--she--" James looked at the girl on the floor, who was groaning, "Oh. Sorry." He helped her up again.

Professor McGonagall hid a smile while everyone else laughed.

"No matter. Now that the Head Girl is here and the Head Boy has returned, we can begin," Dumbledore said lightly.

Lily sat herself primly in an armchair, and James plopped himself into one next to her.

"Now, as you know, there will be a Quidditch match next week. Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff," McGonagall began curtly.

"We decided we should promote a feeling of team spirit," Dumbledore continued smoothly, "And so we thought we could perhaps form cheerleading teams for each House."

"You're kidding," Lily said blankly.

Dumbledore looked at Lily with twinkling blue eyes, "I assure you I am not, Miss Evans."

Lily groaned.

"We have decided that these cheerleading teams will be made out of girls," McGonagall continued explaining, "As the majority of players on the Quidditch teams are male. This meeting is being conducted to elect a captain for each cheerleading team for each House. You will name a worthy candidate to represent your House. They must be a fifth-year or above."

"Lily's for Gryffindor," James said automatically.

"WHAT?"

"Hey, no sweat pumpkin, you'll do fine," James said lazily, looking at her intently.

"Unelect me," Lily said dangerously, "_Now_."

"...No."

James turned to McGonagall and Dumbledore, "I think Miss Evans will be a good captain for the Gryffindor cheerleading team," he repeated.

"I agree," Dumbledore said lightly, glancing at Lily.

"What--_no_!" Lily said, her jaw dropping.

"All in favour for Lily?" James said loudly, looking expectantly around at the prefects.

They all put their hands up.

James turned back to Lily with a smile, "Looks like you're the captain now."

Lily looked at him murderously.

"Now," continued McGonagall, "For the Hufflepuff...."

Lily tuned out and concentrated on how much she loathed James Potter.

When the meeting finally ended, Lily stalked out of the common-room and shoved James against the wall.

"Why'd you go do that for?"

"Because, you'll look so fine in a--"

"SHUT UP!"

"Okay."

Lily looked at him in disgust once more before turning away and making angry hissing noises.

"Whoa, don't worry, you'll be fine," James said comfortingly, running to catch up with her.

"No, I won't, I've never had any cheerleading experience in my life," Lily said angrily.

"Sirius can write you up a good cheer, believe it or not. He's had experience..." Lily looked at James questioningly, but he brushed the subject aside, "Anyway, in the meantime, you better round up girls for your cheerleading team."

He began walking ahead, "I've got detention with Anson. See you later."

Lily stared after him, then hurried back to the Gryffindor tower.

---

"Please Penny," Lily begged painstakingly, on her knees.

"No way!" Penny scoffed, "_Cheerleading_? You've got to be kidding!"

"Come on, Pen!" Lily pleaded, "Em's doing it!"

"You seem to forget that Emily also goes _carolling_ with you," Penny said loftily, turning away.

"It'll be fun!"

"Why don't you ask Meddy?" Penny changed the subject.

"Oh, believe me, I will. After I get you to join," Lily said sweetly, getting to her feet.

"Lily, _no_."

Sirius had been listening in.

"Penny, why won't you join?" he cut in.

"Because," Penny said helplessly, feeling that everyone was against her, "Cheerleading! What's up with _that_?"

"It's fun," Sirius said carelessly.

Lily looked at him curiously, then ignored that odd comment and turned back to her friend, "Please, Penny? For me?"

Penny looked from her pleading friend's face to Sirius' solemn one. She clicked her tongue in agitation.

"_Fine_. But as long we don't have to wear skimpy outfits or stuff like that..."

Lily bit her lip in a worried fashion.

"Lily!" Penny burst out angrily.

"Kidding!" Lily said with a gigantic grin, "We'll probably wear a leotard and a skirt or something, but I'll make sure it's loose enough and it's not so _revealing_."

She gave Penny a big hug.

"Thanks, Pen! Where's Meddy?"

"Err, somewhere."

Lily clicked her tongue impatiently, "Oh, stuff it. I can't be bothered asking her. She won't join. Stubborn as a mule, that one."

Penny glared at her.

"Don't worry Pen, cheerleading will be fun," Lily said cheerfully, forgetting that just twenty minutes ago, _she_ had been close to killing James for electing her as captain.

Lily and Emily went around the girls' dormitories, asking random girls to join the cheerleading team. By the time it was dinner, a total of twelve girls had signed up, excluding the aforementioned three.

"That makes fifteen people," Lily said to Emily, while a disgruntled Penny followed them, "That'd be enough."

Over the week, the Gryffindor cheerleading team practiced as hard as they could. They got their cheerleading uniforms; scarlet leotards and golden skirts. They had pompoms made out of sparkly golden and scarlet ribbons, and they voted on the same hairstyle: a high ponytail.

The Gryffindor Quidditch Team also practiced as hard as they could.

"We have to slug Diggory," Sirius told James one Quidditch practice.

"Why, of course. How do you reckon the girls are doing?"

Sirius grinned, "Very well, indeed. After all, I wrote their cheer."

James rolled his eyes.

"It'll be a miracle if they don't get tomatoes chucked at them...." he said under his breath.

"What was that?" Sirius jerked his head up.

"Nothing," James said innocently, turning to the team, "In your positions, please!"

---

The day of the Quidditch match finally arrived.

The players were relaxed, all lounging in the Great Hall tucking in on their breakfast.

However, the same thing couldn't have been said for the cheerleaders.

"Hey," James greeted Lily as she joined them, "How are you feeling?"

"Great! Chirpy! Cheerful! Terrific!" Lily said in a hysterical way. Then she sighed, "I'm going to die."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," James reassured. Lily stared at him for a moment, confused.

Potter _comforting_ someone?

It was easy to tell who were all the cheerleaders for Gryffindor, even though they were wearing their Hogwarts' robes. Their hair was pulled into a high, sleek ponytail that sat almost on top of their head, held with a golden ribbon.

Kayla Saunders and Jade McKinnon, both sixth-year brunettes who were on the cheerleading team, came running up to Lily.

"Do you know who the Hufflepuff captain is?" Kayla asked Lily, wide-eyed.

"Err, no," Lily said uncertainly. She had been too wound up in her own worries that she hadn't even bothered to find out their rival's captain.

"It's _Adriana Zatling_," Jade said tragically.

Lily continued to look blank, "Ahh, who's she?"

Kayla and Jade exchanged worried glances.

"Only the best cheerleader at Hogwarts," Kayla said anxiously.

Lily merely shrugged, "We're better."

Kayla and Jade laughed uncertainly before they went off.

"I hope we're up to this," Emily said, closing her eyes and crossing her fingers.

"I'm sure we are," Lily said, sounding pretty uncertain herself.

Then she turned to Sirius.

"Sirius, thanks for writing our cheer," she said, giving him a hug.

Sirius looked startled but pleased, "No sweat, Lil."

She then turned to James.

"Thanks for convincing me to do this," she said a bit timidly, cocking her head to one side.

James grinned, "No sweat. I don't want a hug though--" he leant in, "--I want a good luck kiss."

Lily restrained herself from rolling her eyes and quickly kissed James on the cheek. Two people in the Great Hall were very displeased about this. Kiara and Amos.

_Argh, that does it, Potter. You started it. You rejected me, broke my heart and now you've stolen my girlfriend. So uncool. I'm going to slug you real bad._

"Okay you guys," Lily called to Penny and Emily, "Let's get ready."

"Good luck," Meddy and Remus called.

"Thanks. I think we'll need it."

---

"Okay you guys, this is it," Lily told her team seriously, "We've been practicing for a week now, and I think we're really good."

"We're up against Adriana Zatling," reminded Courtney Whitner.

"I don't care," Lily said dubiously, "We're still better."

"Some better than others," Anna Pacynski shot a look at Tina Middleton. The two girls despised each other.

"Yeah, right," scoffed Tina, glaring at Anna.

"Break it up you two," Lily said sharply, "Listen, I don't care that we're going against Adriana Zatling. I don't even care if we're going against England's all-time-cheerleading-champion. It doesn't matter because _this isn't a competition_."

The girls looked doubtful and exchanged glances.

"Now listen up, we're going to go out there. We're going to cheer for Gryffindor. And we're going to be the best."

---

"Welcome to the first Quidditch match of the season, _Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff_!" Remus announced. The audience went crazy, waving flags and screaming out cheers.

Sirius, a Beater, and James, a Chaser, were circling around on their brooms. Sirius winked at his best friend and flew off, around to the other side as he got into his position.

James shook hands with Amos in a friendly way, but the way Amos grinned maniacally with the dark, creepy look in his eyes seriously freaked him.

The Quaffle was thrown out, and James immediately dove out and just caught it between his fingertips.

"James Potter, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, in possession of the Quaffle--brilliant pass to Tim Smith--back to James--GRYFFINDOR SCORE!"

The Gryffindor stands went wild, screaming and cheering their approval. Five seconds into the game and already a goal was scored.

"Hey, look at that! The newly appointed cheerleading teams. It looks like Gryffindor is about to burst out..."

"Okay, you guys," murmured Lily out of the corner of her mouth, "Ready..._go_!"

They began waving their pompoms in their air, moving from side to side with ultra bright smiles on their face.

"_We cheer, and we lead, _   
_We act like we're on speed._   
_Hate us cause we're beautiful,_   
_Well we don't like you either!_   
_We're cheerleaders, _   
_We--are--cheerleaders_."

James stopped for half a second to look at Lily. He smiled to himself. That girl got prettier every day. He watched as Amos Diggory whacked a Bludger towards Hope Meredith, who just managed to dodge it.

"--passes to Jack Bloe--Hufflepuff...score?" Remus frowned, then caught himself quickly and said half-enthusiastically, "HUFFLEPUFF SCORE!"

Most heads turned to listen to the Hufflepuff Cheerleading Team.

"_Oh, Hufflepuff, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind, _   
_Hey Hufflepuff hey hey, hey Hufflepuff hey hey._   
_Hey Amos!_   
_Watching you practice every night and that's a little long,_   
_Gryffindor think they've got it right but they've got it all wrong,_   
_Why can't they just surrender tonight, and save them from embarassment_."

Sirius, circling around in mid-air, began laughing. Honestly, it was the worst cheer he had ever heard.

Gryffindor scored a few more goals, and Hufflepuff scored one more goal. Lily decided to do another cheer.

"_We sizzle, we scorch,_   
_And now we pass the torch._   
_The game will begin, _   
_And one team has to win._   
_We're fair, we're fun, _   
_And we'll be number one._   
_Kick it Gryffindor,_   
_G-G-G-Gryffindor._   
_We're strong and we're loud,_   
_We're gonna make you proud!_   
_We're G-G-G-Gryffindor._   
_Everyone's favourite team, Gryffindor! _   
_Let's go, lions,_   
_We are the lions, the mighty, mighty lions,_   
_If we're so good, we must be the lions_!"

James pelted the Quaffle so hard that the Hufflepuff Keeper dived out of the way.

"GRYFFINDOR SCORE AGAIN!"

The pitch was full of deafening cheers, and James turned to look at Lily, who, to his utter surprise, was looking right back at him.

"And it looks like the Seekers are onto the Snitch!"

James switched his gaze to Sammi Torr, their Seeker, who was flying after something that he couldn't see from his position. On her tail was the Hufflepuff Seeker.

Lily had been watching James. She could feel... affection growing inside of her. Maybe, just maybe, if he asked her out one more time... she would accept.

"COME ON, SAMMI!" Remus was screaming in his excitement, "GET THAT SNITCH--ALMOST THERE--"

James continued to look at Lily, although most eyes were on Sammi, who was closing onto the Snitch.

He really did love her... more than anything else...

Amos glared at James darkly. He was staring at _his_ girlfriend. Well, he had vowed war on Potter secretly. He had gone too far. Amos sniffed on the inside. If James had accepted his offer...

Amos shook his head free. No, James had chosen to be _straight_.

That was all right.

But he preferred _Black_.

That would be all right as well, but now he was going after his _girlfriend_.

Nuh uh, not going to happen.

_It's payback time_, Amos thought nastily.

Out of the blue, a Bludger came hurtling at him. Feeling something rise up in him, Amos lifted his bat and struck it violently, right towards James.

James had fast reflexes, but even this was too quick for him. All he remembered was a crushing pain at the back of his head, and his eyes began to stream. He felt himself weaken and his body swayed off backwards, and he began to fall.

Lily watched in horror as James fell down at least fifteen metres. Even some of the most hardcore Quidditch-spectators had stopped staring at Sammi as she closed in on the Snitch to watch as the captain fell... fell... fell...

He crashed onto the ground.

Lily was among the first to reach the crumpled and unconscious form of James lying on the ground. There was blood trickling from the back of his head.

And it didn't look like he was going to make it.

----------

A/N: (cries) He's--he's--he's _HURT_! WAAAA. That's so... sad. :( This chapter is making me sad... well, the end part anyway. (sob) Well... I think this is the second last chap... yes, yes. Awwww, PRONGSIE 'TIS HURTIFIED! Okay, I'll shut up. (sniff) Goodbye and thank you! --MSQ.

**PS. Here are the credits...**

**GRYFFINDOR CHEER**   
ORIGINAL-- from the movie Bring It On

_I sizzle, I scorch,_   
_And now I pass the torch._   
_The ballots are in, and one girl has to win,_   
_She's perky, she's fun, and now she's number one._   
_Kick it Torrance,_   
_T-T-T-Torrance!_   
_I'm strong and I'm loud,_   
_And I'm gonna make you proud._   
_I'm T-T-T-Torrance._   
_Your captain Torrance! _   
_Let's go, Toros._   
_We are the Toros, the mighty, mighty Toros. _   
_We're so terrific, we must be Toros!_

**HUFFLEPUFF CHEER**   
ORIGINAL-- Mickey by B-Witched

_Oh Mickey, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind,_   
_hey Mickey hey hey, hey Mickey hey hey._   
_Hey Mickey!_   
_You've been around all night and that's a little long,_   
_You think you've got the right but I think you've got it wrong._   
_Why can't you say goodnight so you can take me home, Mickey._


	18. Truly HHTHHT

Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

**Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That**

**Chapter Eighteen ll Truly HHTHHT**

----------

"SIRIUS!"

Penny, Meddy, Emily and Remus all struggled to hold tightly onto Sirius, who was acting like a bull having a giant pair of red panties waved in front of his face. Except in this situation, those giant pair of red panties was actually Amos Diggory.

"Let--go--of--me!" Sirius grunted, trying to shove the three girls and Remus off him.

"You'll kill him!" Meddy said desperately, "Please Sirius--just _think_, for once!"

"Lily!" Penny said helplessly, "Help us!"

Lily was standing on the side, staring at Amos. She felt choking anger rising up in her.

_He_ had hurt James.

_He_ had probably killed him.

Furthermore, _he_ had been the thing blocking her from the guy she had always liked, but never realised about.

Sirius had every right to pummel Diggory.

"SIRIUS!" the girls screamed in despair as Sirus broke free from their grip.

"Sirius, stop," Lily said calmly.

Sirius stopped abruptly and looked at her, amazed.

"Thank Merlin," Penny breathed, almost in tears.

Amos shot Lily a shocked yet grateful look.

Lily just glared back at him, "We'll get him some other day, but we should be worrying more about James now. Let's just go to bed and worry about it in the morning. Oh, and _you_--" Lily spun back around, "--you had better watch your back, 'cause I'm not saving your sorry arse again."

Lily walked off, clearly distressed.

Everyone else stared after her.

"C'mon Sirius," Penny whispered, tugging onto her boyfriend's arm, "Let's go to the Wing and visit James."

"You really _suck_!" Emily spat at Amos, and balled up her fists, "I'll slug you one day, man. Just watch me you little skeez."

"Em, calm down," Meddy sighed, taking the short girl's arm and steering her away, "We'll all kill him some other day, like Lily said..."

They left a confused Amos by himself in the corridor.

---

That bloody, stupid, reoccuring dream was haunting her again... Lily tossed around in her bed restlessly as she heard James' voice pounding in her mind. All these things he had said, some so small she didn't recall him saying it, were echoing like quotes from a movie trailer.

_"You get prettier after every summer. Did you know that, Evans?"_

_FLASH._

_"So you said before... But I'm not out of bounds. You yourself said that the Heads are allowed in there. Surely the Head Boy can find a seat in there, too!"_

_FLASH._

_"Pumpkin, will you go out with me?"_

_FLASH._

_"Aww, do we have to? I rather like what my pumpkin is wearing."_

_FLASH._

_"Evans, stop -- calm down!"_

_FLASH._

_"Pumpi--i--i--in, I taught you the correct wrist movement and you're still doing it wrong!"_

_FLASH._

_"I deserve a kiss now!"_

_FLASH._

_"What about that kiss, then?"_

_FLASH._

_"Patience, my dear Lillian... Curiosity killed the cat."_

_FLASH._

_"I'll pay for it, okay? Geez Louise, lady, it'll be alright!"_

_FLASH._

_"Why, you look especially bea-au-autilful tonight."_

_FLASH._

_"I'm sorry."_

_FLASH._

_"I want to hug you."_

_FLASH._

Then suddenly, a whole bunch of lines James had said that Lily remembered perfectly well, as they had deep meaning and meant a lot to her. They were said all at once; one sentence starting before the other one had finished.

_"How would you know what's right or not? Love could standing right in front of you and you're just ignoring it!"_

_"You know, even though someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."_

_"I love you, Lily. Why did Amos have to get you first...?"_

_"But I know deep down you love me, pumpkin. You hurt the ones you love, after all."_

_But I know deep down you love me._

_You hurt the ones you love, after all._

_Deep down..._

_I love you._

_I love you, James._

Lily awoke with a start. Her eyes and cheeks were wet with tears.

She _knew_...

It was still dark, but the sun was starting to rise, casting a blueish glow around the dormitory. Lily wiped away her tears and steadied her breathing. She suddenly felt very cold and pulled her blanket around her tigter.

"I love him..." she whimpered to herself, trembling, "I love James..."

"Lily?" she heard Meddy whisper in the dark.

Lily said nothing as more tears silently poured down. She heard Meddy get out of bed and move towards her. Her bed decreased a few inches as Meddy crawled onto it.

She hugged her tightly, and Lily buried her face in her shoulder and began to sob.

"Shhh," Meddy whispered comfortingly, rubbing her back and caressing her hair gently, "It'll be okay. He'll be okay."

Lily hoped she was right.

---

When morning came, Lily hadn't gotten much sleep. Meddy was sleeping beside Lily, hugging her pillow.

Very quietly, Lily tiptoed out of bed and stumbled in front of her vanity. She stared at her reflection.

_How can he think I'm pretty?_

Trembling slightly, Lily pulled open her special drawer and took out a notebook with a sky-blue plastic cover. It was her diary from fourth-year. She had filled it up in less than a year.

She opened it up to a specific page that looked oldened from too many times of reading.

**21st December, 1974**

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't believe it! James Potter asked me out! He didn't even ask me out, he ordered me out! I was just walking with Meddy, Penny and Em, and we were talking about what we wanted for Christmas. Then he pops around the corner with his three friends (Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew) and goes "Evans, go out with me!"_

_What did I say? "NO WAY!" James Potter is the most arrogant person I have ever met! I would never go out with him! He makes fun of everyone, and pranks the Slytherins like crazy. I admit the pranks are sometimes funny, but enough is enough!_

_He expects girls to just fall all over him. _

_Well, not me!_

_And you'd think my rejection would dampen his pride a little. No way! He just smiled that idiotical smile and said, "Next time, Evans, next time."_

_Urgh! He infuriates me! He's ruined Christmas altogether!_

_I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH JAMES POTTER._

_Yours Truly,_

_Lily._

A few silent tears welled up in her eyes. Some trickled down her face and dropped onto her journal page, creating wet splotches. Slowly, Lily lifted the cover of her diary and shut it.

The past didn't matter... did it?

---

After breakfast, they went to visit James at the Hospital Wing. Lily had been quiet all morning and refused to eat anything.

"He looks so... unalive," Remus said with a certain tightness in his voice.

"He's rendered unconscious," Penny whispered.

"Where?" Emily asked, puzzled.

They (excluding Lily) chuckled quietly at her daftness. Then they fell silent and looked at anything but each other.

"Lighten up," Sirius said after a while, trying to sound cheerful, "It's not a funeral."

"It may as well be," Lily spoke up quietly.

That silenced him.

"I'm--I'm going now," Lily said, her voice barely louder than a whisper, "Before, um... Madam Meynon gets shirty with us." She turned away and quickly left the Wing, while her friends glanced at each other before following her.

"If only Prongs were awake," Sirius said sadly, "He'd see how much Lily likes him now."

Remus and Peter nodded mutely.

And at that instant, James' eyes opened.

"Holy crap!" Sirius yelled, springing back.

"Whoa!" Remus exclaimed, stunned.

Peter looked on, his mouth wide open.

James groaned and rubbed his head. He sat up and looked at his friends, a little confused. Then he smiled sheepishly.

"Sup, guys? Why does my head hurt?"

"PRONGS YOU'RE AL-I-I-I-IVE!" Sirius yelled triumphantly, jumping on his best friend and giving him a bear hug.

"Oof, get off me, man!" James exclaimed, though his tone was amused.

Remus grinned at him, utterly relieved, "Suffer from brain damage?"

"Nope," James shook his head.

"Of course," snorted Sirius, "We wouldn't actually be able to tell the _difference_."

They all laughed.

James looked around the Hospital Wing. Then he bit his lip in a worried fashion.

"Where's Lily?" he asked in a hurtful tone.

Remus and Sirius grinned at each other.

"Don't worry mate, she didn't completely reject you," grinned Sirius, "She was here a minute ago, but she left 'cause she looked a little upset..."

"And don't fly clean into the air, but we think she's really rather... _fond _of you," Remus chimed in.

James leapt up.

"She does, she does, _she does_?" James cried, looking absolutely delighted, "I'm going to go see her!"

And he bounded off, still in his hospital gown and all.

"Oooh, Madam Meynon is so going to have his head for that," Sirius grinned affectionately.

---

Lily had managed to escape from her mothering friends, and was by herself in some random corridor. She was staring at a wall, which was not blank, as many walls usually were when you stared at them.

"Hey, pumpkin," said a familiar voice behind her.

Lily spun around, her heart beating rapidly as she dared to think the almost-impossible. But before she could see who it was, the person leant forward and kissed her. His arms curled around her lovingly and she melted right into them.

The kiss was so soft, so gentle and so beautiful, which could only mean...

"James," Lily said softly as he broke off the kiss. Her eyes looked wounded and her tone sounded a bit hurt.

James just bit his lip while staring at the pretty figure in front of him. He at least had had the decency to throw on a robe on top of his hospital gown.

"Did you like that?" he asked timidly.

Lily stared at him closely for a moment, before throwing herself onto him and yelling, "You're an idiot!" She stood on tiptoe and kissed him again.

There was a yell from down the corridor.

"LILY EVANS AND JAMES POTTER ARE GETTING IT ON!"

After three seconds, Lily broke off the kiss. She smiled sweetly at James, before running after Sirius who screamed and tore off in the other direction.

"_AHHHHHHHH_! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, HE-E-E-E-ELP ME-E-E-E-E!"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said smoothly, with a pleasant smile, "Hello, Miss Evans."

"Hi, Professor!" Lily said brightly, while chasing after Sirius. Sirius groaned at the teacher's obvious unattempts to help him and continued running.

As the chase continued, with Sirius begging and Lily snarling, she ran into James again.

"Hello, again," James said bemusedly.

"Hiiiii," Lily said, trying to keep sight of Sirius.

James smiled mischievously and decided to get her attention by kissing her on the cheek.

Bad move--

"THE HEAD BOY AND HEAD GIRL ARE IN LU-U-U-URVE!"

"SIRIUS, SHUT UP!"

Sirius was killed with five Silencing Spells. No, actually, he didn't die. He just couldn't speak for another week.

Which is good.

Lily and James were a nice couple, who were nice to nice people and gave nice points to nice Houses and also held nice Prefect meetings.

Penny and Sirius were also a nice couple. But Sirius was loud and perverted.

Remus was normal. Meddy was normal. Emily was normal.

Peter just stood there.

They remained friends, and went through a whole lot of whacky and random stuff. Craziness, whackyness and randomness are a part of life.

May it live on, to pursue further generations so that the world may never be dull and boring.

**THE END.**

PS. Lily and her friends had to go through the same process of running down the platform when they caught the Hogwarts Express back home. They were joined by the Marauders, who thought this was a complete waste of time.

PPS. Sirius tripped over a first year.

PPPS. Sirius knocked over a little Muggle girl at King's Cross Station.

PPPPS. Her mother yelled at him for a total of ten minutes.

So, in conclusion, this story _did_ live up to the randomness of its title.

**This story is truly Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That.**

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A/N: Hehe, I hope you enjoyed that. There will be no bloopers, this story is random enough to be an entire bloopers section itself. I couldn't have a depressing chapter, this story wasn't written to be depressing. Anyways, thank you to EVERYONE for reviewing! Yup, yup :) You're my sunshine, LOL. Keep readin' my stuff, _cherie_! --MSQ.


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